A Fine Farewell (Big Announcement)

When I started my business six years ago, I did so as my burlesque persona, Kitty Cavalier.  Having grown up a shy, awkward, quiet girl, Kitty Cavalier gave me the courage to be whoever I wanted to be.

As Kitty, I could get up on a stage and tantalize hundreds of people.  I could say whatever was on my mind at any time.  Armed with my red lipstick and fur collared cardigan, in the persona of Kitty, I felt like could do anything.

But as my friend Marianne likes to say, everything is medicine or poison depending on how you look at it.

At that time, Kitty Cavalier was the exact medicine I needed.

Shortly after starting my business I experienced a few life altering events. My 11-year marriage ended very abruptly. Less than a year later my father passed away after a sudden bicycle accident. I decided I needed a change, so I packed up the New York City apartment I had called home for 14 years and headed south to a small mountain town in Western North Carolina.

At first, I hated it! Far away from my friends and the only life I had ever known, everything felt new, difficult, and isolating. But there was something else brought to my attention.  Without the razzle dazzle of life in New York City, the persona of Kitty Cavalier felt alien to me.

I knew how to be Kitty Cavalier in the classroom, onstage, and in the intensity of city life, but with all of that stripeed away, I realized that I had no idea how to actually be with myself.

This sent me down a spiritual path more earnest and sobering than anything I had done before.  I knew from my spiritual experiences in burlesque that stripping away the layers was the only way to find what I was really made of.  But rather than stripping away my clothing, it was time for a stripping of my identity.

Life became very, very simple. If sensuality, seduction, and spirituality were all to intersect as I firmly believed they did, I had to find a way to do it that didn’t depend on wearing a mask or existing as a fantasy.

I embarked on a journey of going back to retrieve the shy, innocent, tender self I was before Kitty, and bring her full circle. Sacred Seduction® has always been a practice of attraction through authenticity. In fact, it is that precise aspect of this work that has prepared me to be so real with you, and to make this announcement.

While the persona of Kitty has provided tremendous courage, wisdom and brilliance to my life and the lives of others, it is only one aspect of who I am and what I have to offer. 

So today begins a sacred countdown of saying farewell to Kitty, and hello to the woman who has been her source the whole time.

Mary is my birth name.  As a girl I hated the virginal nature of my name. But as a woman, I couldn’t be more honored to bear a name so synonymous with feminine grace, love, power and mystery.

So here I am.

Mary.

Nothing more, nothing less.

All of that said, you didn’t think we were going to let Kitty go without a celebration, did you? 😉

Starting today, all Kitty Cavalier Sacred Seduction courses are on sale. After this sale closes, these courses will be removed from the website forever.  The sale ends February 28th, and after that day the website will go under some construction as I prepare to share what’s next with you.

I’ve been reviewing the class materials for Sacred Seduction Deep Dive and the 7 Virtues of the Seductive Woman as I prepare for this goodbye.  It has been bittersweet.  Sacred Seduction is a brilliant body of work that has touched the lives of many.  I am so very grateful and proud to have authored it, and even more proud of the way it has laid the foundation for this evolution.

Thank you for being a part of this community.

Thank you for loving Kitty into existence.

Thank you for joining me on the path of Sacred Seduction.

Thank you for evolving with me into what’s next.

With so much love and gratitude,

P.S. – To shop the Farewell Sale and take this final opportunity to learn seduction a spiritual practice, click here.

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Let’s Talk…Slowly

In the quest to slow down, there are many paths to travel.

A simple path to take is to listen to the frequency of your filler words.

Um…

Ah….

Okay….

Like…

Mine is: you know what I mean?

Sentences without fillers have a unique and weighted power.

For example, when you listen to Michelle Obama speak, you don’t hear many fillers.

She is confident, poised, pointed, and purposeful.

You’re right there in the moment with her, and she’s right there in the moment with you.

Removing fillers is a way of clearing the clutter, cutting the fat, and trimming your words down to the bare essentials.

Are your filler words softening the succinctness of your truth, your knowing, your purpose?

As you engage in conversation with others today, try as much as you can to notice and omit your fillers.

Notice the sensations it creates in your body to not use them.

Does it feel powerful? Uncomfortable? Somewhere in-between?

(I think all worthy pursuits fall somewhere on that spectrum.)

Love,

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A Sensual, Summer Retreat

Treasures,

I’ve got some exciting news!

This summer I’ll be hosting a beautiful new retreat called Body Bliss, right here in my backyard of Western North Carolina.

It is a retreat totally focused on the pleasure and wisdom of living in your body. There will be daily yoga, Qoya and meditation classes, spa ritual and self-massage classes, intuitive art workshops, delicious, healthy food, a beautiful mountain backdrop, and more!

Click here to check it out and reserve a spot!

If you have any questions please email me directly at kitty@kittycavalier.com.  I’ll be happy to respond personally.

I hope to share a sumptuous, summer week with you at this retreat!

All my Love,

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December Swoon

Happy December Loves!

For the final Swoon of 2018, I’ve curated my favorite little luxuries into a simple gift guide.  These gifts are all carefully chosen to help you slow down, settle in, and savor life through your senses.

Wishing you a sweet, sensual month and a very happy holiday!


1. The Ugg Robe is the softest I’ve ever felt.  After a shower and a body scrub, slip this on and you’ll feel like a walking cloud.

2. Tired of small talk around the holiday table? Check out Vertellis, a card game that helps create more intimate, meaningful communication between you and your loved ones.  As a Scorpio rising, this is my kind of card game!

3. Earl Gray Meyer Lemon Fruit Preserve from Bellocq tea.  Divinity on toast. Literally!

4. To make your meditation plush and lush, check out these chic meditation cushions.  My favorite is velvet blush!

5. Looking for an easy hostess gift with that homemade touch? This year I’m gifting homemade rosemary honey.  Simple, easy and delicious!

6. Welcome to my new OBSESSION! The Wildling facial gua sha system turns your nightly beauty routine into a satisfying, relaxing ritual.  I’m truly addicted!

7. Puffiness, stagnancy and dry, flaky skin is so common this time of year, and dry body brushing is your sweet and simple solution! Dry body brushing moves lymph and exfoliates the skin, while also energizing the body.  My favorite morning ritual is to take three deep breaths with  Clear the Air blend, and then dry body brush from my toes to tresses.  Use long, light strokes working from the feet up the legs, hips to chest, and wrist to shoulder, always working towards the heart.  I love this natural brush, as it’s cruelty free!

8. Every year I have rainbow ultra-fine sharpies on my Christmas list.  They are great for handwritten notes, journaling, calendar planning, and jazzing up your to-do list!

9. Got an astro-babe in your life? I burn a Virgo candle from Knead and Seed on my desk almost every day.  The scents are customized and hand blended to suit your personal sign. I find my best qualities come out when I burn them!

10.  Who doesn’t love a tiny book brimming with inspiration on their nightstand? This sweet book on “How to Sit” has many life changing lessons on how to slow down, settle in, and savor the space between your thoughts.

11. If you love art and non-traditional oracle cards, check this baby out!

12. And while we’re at it, check out this fashion oracle!!! Swoon indeed!

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A BIG DIFFERENCE

Letting Go vs. Letting Yourself GoRecently I was speaking with a client who was at a breaking point with being extremely stressed out for a very long time.  When we explored the sensations in her body, she felt a clinging sensation, like she was holding on for dear life.

“There is a part of me that knows I need to soften, but I’m so afraid that if I do, it will all fall apart.”

Such wisdom in that statement.  And something we can all relate to.

As we talked it through more fully, we uncovered a belief that letting go was synonymous with letting herself go.

Whenever limiting beliefs such as these come up (beliefs that limit our growth as a method of protection), I look to nature to help us understand the truth.

In nature, I see letting go in the the river rock is shaped it into smooth, polished perfection by the water.

I see it in the forest when a tree falls, not to it’s death, but to a new life of becoming a home and a source of nourishment for other creatures.

I see the way autumn leaves fall to the ground and create fertile mulch for the coming of spring, leaving nothing to waste.

As we know, letting go is simply another form of letting God.

To see how this is playing out in your own life, I have an exercise for you.

1. Take a pen and a piece of paper and at the top of the page write at area of your life where you keep a firm grip of control, such as love, mothering, work, etc.

2. Underneath that category, make two columns.  On one side write “Letting Go” and on the other write “Letting Myself Go.”

3. Let yourself free write underneath each column on the difference between the two.

The answers may seem obvious, I can almost guarantee that by physically putting pen to paper and seeing it all in black and white, you will learn something new and surprising. (I sure did!)

I’ll drop my findings in the comments below this post so as not to ruin the surprise.  Please leave your findings there too, I’d love to compare notes.

Here’s to the gracefulness of letting go, the gracefulness of nature, and the gracefulness that is YOU.

All my love,

 

 

 

 

P.S. – I am now accepting applications for new coaching clients in 2019.  If you are interested in growing past your limiting beliefs (which are there for a reason, but don’t have to be) click here to fill out the application . A member of my team will be in touch to set up a conversation!

 

 

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The Lacy Little Number that Changed Everything

 

I remember the first time I went shopping after I had just started learning about sensuality and pleasure.

Until that point, every time I would enter a store I’d bypass all the cute, sassy things at the front and I would beeline straight for the recesses of the women’s department, which was flush with apparel that would allow me to adequately hide my body. (Read: black pants, sweaters, t-shirts, etc.)

It was so automatic, I didn’t even realize I was doing it, until one day a lacy spaghetti strap number caught my eye.

“Why couldn’t you wear that?” a little voice in my head asked.

For the first time in 20+ years, I didn’t have an answer.

Suddenly, it was like the store had tripled in size. 


I looked around and saw mini-skirts, racy red dresses, curve hugging knit tops, and more.

My body hadn’t changed, nor had the selection of the store.

What changed was how I felt in my body.

With a newfound sense of power and reverence, I intuitively chose only things that made me feel beautiful, sensual, and adorned.

I left the store with several lacy new treasures in my bag, brimming with pride and excitement.

And I haven’t worn a single pair of black pants since! 


The way you feel about your body affects every area of your life.

Your relationships, your confidence, your libido, your creativity, your energy.

Love for our bodies is not something we can will ourselves to feel.

But what we can do, is treat our bodies with deep reverence and respect, which undeniably leads to feelings of love, appreciation and connection.

That’s why for one day only, my signature program Body Church is being offered at 50% off. 


I know how difficult it can be to stay connected to your body during the winter months.

That’s why when you enroll today you’ll receive:

• Embodied meditation audios to feel present and alive anytime, anywhere
• Guided, instructive, moving rituals
• A guided exercise to walk into any room with power and grace
• Sensual Sun and Moon Salutations
• A Sensory Salon exercise that will teach you to know your body like sommelier knows great wine
• A full video lesson of Body Worship, our core ritual, that will teach you how to regard every part of your body with reverence and delight
• 3 Exclusive Body Church Playlists: (bring on the hymns!) a total of 50 new songs
• 2 Dynamic Guest Teachers: Venus & The Art of Self Love with Astrologer Juli Everett, and Erotic Authority: A Tantric Path To Power  with certified Tantra Teacher Karen Fitzgerald

My sincere wish for you this holiday season, is that you feel the freedom to wear whatever your heart desires.

That you feel enough ease in your own skin to own the room at any holiday party.

That you wake up inspired to caress your body the way a loving mother caresses a baby who is just waking up.

And most of all, that you feel a sense of fall-on-your-knees, Oh Holy Night awe, every time you gaze at the curve of your calves, the creases on your palm, or a fallen eyelash on your cheek.

Amen,

 

 

 

P.S. – This sale ends at midnight tonight, don’t miss out!

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My Most Advanced Spiritual Practice


I remember ten years ago, trying so hard to climb the corporate ladder that I literally couldn’t feel my legs at the end of the day.

I’d leave the office and they’d be completely numb.

When I got home from work the first thing I’d do is get in the shower and pinch them to try to regain some feeling.

But really, my legs were just a symptom.

They were a harbinger of a bigger pattern of numbness that was infiltrating my whole life.

I couldn’t figure out why my job, which gave me tons of validation, still left my soul feeling squashed at the end of the day.

I didn’t understand why my marriage, which felt full of love, distinctly lacked passion and enthusiasm.

I couldn’t understand why even though I had everything I thought I wanted, I constantly felt like I was aching for something more.

I had thought these things; job, marriage, etc., were going to make me happy.

But I came to realize that happy and comfortable are two very different things.

My life today could not be more different.

I have relationships that thrill and inspire me.

I have a business I love.

I have total freedom with my time. (no more numb legs at the end of the day.)

I trust my gut implicitly and am an obedient listener when it comes to my body’s cues.

That doesn’t mean things always feel good.

But it does mean that things consistently feel true.

And while that doesn’t translate to a permanent state of happiness, it is as close to permanent happiness as I desire to get.

Not numb anymore!

You might be wondering what the lighting bolt moment was that cause things to change. 


Well, the truth is, there wasn’t one. 


Because lightning bolts are not isolated events.They are just a product of many small, ordinary decisions to change. 


What can I tell you about those moments? 


Well, first off, in order to thaw the numbness I had to get out of the freezer. 


I had to look deeply and honestly at what wasn’t working, and be willing to let go of what was safe in order to have what was true. 


But there was something else…

Something very high level.

Really sophisticated, spiritual stuff.

Something called…

FUN.

Remember FUN??

It seems so…frivolous, even…pointless. I know.

But actually, fun can pack more healing power than a bottle of Vitamin C and a session on your shrink’s couch put together.

Do you remember the last time you laughed until you cried and used belly muscles you didn’t know existed?

Or the last time you plunged into a scoop of gelato and felt so much pleasure you almost forgot your own name?

Or the last time you winked at a stranger, even though it made you blush afterwards?

Can you feel your system getting a little more bubbly just reading about these things?

And when your system feels like that, do you notice that life doesn’t feel so heavy?

That being an adult doesn’t feel so draining?

And that solutions to your problems actually seem kind of…obvious?

This is because when you are having fun, your nervous system is relaxed.

And when your nervous system is relaxed, your brain is not distracted by the grip of fight/flight/freeze. Therefore new neural pathways can be created with greater ease.

It is well known that we store a great amount of emotion in our bodies.

If you’ve ever poured tears in a yoga pose or soaked the face cradle crying during a massage, you know what I’m talking about.

But the tissues ALSO store goodness, joy, glee, and happiness.

And just as negative experiences can leave a dysfunctional imprint on the body, POSITIVE experiences like mindfulness, pleasure, and embodiment can leave the permanent imprint of joy and fun. 


That is why in Club Macaron, we are dedicated to one thing and one thing only: being in your body in a way that feels alive, juicy, succulent, embodied, and most importantly – fun.

 

Stephanie, one of our beloved Club Macaron members put it perfectly:

“I joined Club Macaron because I want to remember to experience the day to day with my body and not just my mind.

I want to remember how much I love to be touched.

I want to remember the joy I feel when I buy myself fresh flowers.

I want to feel the luxuriousness of anointing myself with perfume.

I want to walk on the grass barefoot and revel in the exquisiteness of each blade.

Because I want to feel.

That is why…Club Macaron.”

Doors close for enrollment at midnight tonight.

Let’s get your GLOW back!


P.S. – Have questions? Check out our FAQs. 


P.P.S. – Enrollment closes tonight at midnight. Let’s do this lady!

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A Special Guest Teacher (That Also Barks)

Hello Friends!
 
Today I have an exciting invitation to share with you! But first, I want to introduce you to a special guest teacher: my dog, Winnie.

 

 
Winnie is a mix of dachshund and chihuahua, two breeds which unto themselves are quite territorial, but when mixed together add up to one protective pooch. When Winnie hears a car pull into our driveway, her nervous system senses a threat may be nearby, and tells her she should bark. LOUDLY.
 
As Shakespeare once said, “Though she be little, she is fierce.”

 
Before the barking begins however, there are two steps her body must go through.

 
First, her ears perk up and her senses sharpen. The sensory stimuli of tires on gravel sends a message to her brain that there could be potential danger.
 
Then, she does something really interesting. 

 
Her little eyes look over towards me – me being a member of her pack. In a split second she gauges my reaction to get a sense of whether or not that sounds does indeed indicate a threat. 

 
If I seem perturbed or excited, she’ll sound off the Bark Alarm. But if I seem unbothered, she’ll usually keep it down to a low growl. 

 
This demonstrates a body wisdom that goes back eons: 

When we need to feel safe, we look to those around us for reassurance. 

 
And just like Winnie, your nervous system benefits by looking to those around you for inspiration, reassurance, and cues to keep going. 

 
And that’s exactly why I’d like to extend a special invitation your way.
 
For just one week, I am opening the doors to my membership program Club Macaron.

 

Club Macaron is a place where zesty babes like you and me gather to study the arts of sensuality, spirituality and style.
It is a community where we elevate your mind by first tending to the needs of your body.
 
It is a place where you get to practice slowing down to speak from the heart.
 
Where we honor beauty as an essential nutrient to your feminine soul.

 
And where abundance is not measured by how much you can get, but by how deeply you can savor what you have.
At this point you might be asking yourself, why name a club like this after a cookie?
 
Well, in my blogs and emails you may have noticed that my objective is not just to educate you. It is also to entertain you.
 
While human beings learn in many different ways, it has been proven over and over again that the most effective way for a person to learn is through the simple art of PLAY. 

 
When you are in a state of play, your nervous system is relaxed, your senses are engaged, and your mind is receptive to new information.
 
Think back to high school and how challenging it was to memorize something like the periodic table, in contrast to how easy it was to memorize the lyrics to your favorite pop song.
 
Fun always wins when it comes to learning something new, or changing a pattern in your life.
 
That’s why in Club Macaron, we make personal growth feel like tea and truffles.

 
You’ll learn how to shift your mindset while sashaying your hips.
 
You’ll learn how to meditate peacefully, and master wing tip eyeliner.
Club Macaron is a place where you can open your mind, enjoy your body, and celebrate the sensual as a devotional path.

 
So to answer your question…macarons are sweet, playful, elegant, delicious and FUN. Why wouldn’t I name a club after them?! 🙂
 
It is my honor and my pleasure to extend this exclusive invitation to you.

Click here to learn more and become a member today!

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Confidence: Beyond The Bells & Whistles

Beloveds,

Recently I was preparing for a big event and needed to pick up a new pair of shoes. I had a specific budget for this purchase. I went to the store, chose a pair, and walked out having met my need for new shoes without compromising the needs of my bank account.

God damn it felt good.

In the past, setting a budget conjured up tremendous fear that would inevitably lead to self sabotage. Years ago I remember heading out to pick up a pair of $10 earrings studs before an important speaking event, and leaving the store with a $400 Labradorite necklace that “just spoke to me.”

In that moment, the urge to buy the necklace felt like my intuition talking. And maybe it was. But when I look back with the wisdom of hindsight, I see that what I was really trying to do was manage fear.

My mind saw that necklace as something I could control in a situation that felt very much out of my control. “I can’t be scared onstage if I’m wearing a necklace like this,” my subconscious reassured me.

It reminds me of the powerful quote from Carl Jung:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will control your life, and you will call it fate.”

As I grow and evolve I find that I need less and less “things” to feel confident.

My confidence comes from a quiet trust in who I am. How I look is just the icing on the cake.

May this be a reminder that you too, are more than your bells and whistles.

More than your adornments and accoutrements.

And that like the best things in life, the best parts of YOU, are actually…free.

Love and Labradorite,

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image by Charisse Kenion via Unsplash

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Stepping Away to Get Closer


Cacao nibs,

Recently I was working on a project and my creativity felt like a jeep with it’s tires stuck in the mud.

No matter how many quality ideas surfaced, the mantra “what a dumb idea! what a dumb idea! what a dumb idea!” echoed through my head like a demented wind-up clown.

I called a friend for support. She calmly replied, “I think the best thing you can do in this situation is just be really kind to yourself.”

Ahhhh…deep exhale.

After hearing that prompt, my inner voice came through clear as a bell.

“Stop trying, Kitty. Today is just not the day. Working harder will only dig this hole deeper. Put the project down and step away.”

It’s common to get swept up in the fever of perpetual harvest.

But any artist will tell you that after days and days of working on the same painting, the art will actually suffer if you don’t take time away to freshen your perspective.

When you seek to live life as art, you’ve got to live it on art’s own terms. (click to tweet)

My friend Rochelle Schieck recently shared that lions in the wild will sleep 15 to 20 hours a day, and that rather than the expression “I’m a lion, hear me roar” it’s really more like, “I’m a lion, hear me snore!”

When it comes to creative energy, I find it to be more of a current than a well. When the current flows, it flows. When it’s not flowing, I know that my job is not to tell it to hurry up. My job is simply to remove whatever is blocking the flow, and do my best to patient as I wait for the river to rise again.

How do you flow with the wax and wane of your creative genius? Let’s compare notes in the comments.

Love,

 

 

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