THE MOST POTENT MAGIC I’VE EVER ENCOUNTERED

ARTEMIS RINGArtemis Ring by BelladonnanoirJP on Etsy

Friends,

Like you, I’ve created many a ritual, potion, and ceremony in my life. But nothing has proven to be as potent or as simple as the magic I share with you today.

On a recent lazy Sunday, an entire afternoon stretched out wide before me. Wide open space like this often sounds like paradise, but this particular Sunday I was a bit burnt out. There was no food in the house, and chore after chore beckoned from my to-do list.

I sat on my porch feeling deflated and defeated. Yet I knew that if I took no action, I would feel even more irritated by these tasks being left undone. So I did what I often do in moments where I feel stuck and lost: I prayed.

I asked for guidance on how to surrender my Sunday. With my eyes closed and a hand on my heart I heard something inside me utter the words:

“Turn Off Your Phone.”

I made a commitment that no matter what did or did not get done on my to-do list, I would turn off technology completely for six hours and just see what happened.

After about three minutes of staring at the wall, I glimpsed the breakfast dishes out of the corner of my eye. I felt the pleasant prickle of desire to wash them, rather than the blunt pressure of obligation. Then, just like kissing leads to heavy petting, dishes led to mopping the floor, and before I knew it I was in the sweet spot of housecleaning ecstasy. #magic

Later, without social media or Netflix to entertain me, I sat down to read a cooking magazine and felt the most wonderful and unfamiliar sensation: A GENUINE DESIRE TO COOK SOMETHING. This was bordering on a miracle.

Cooking has never been my strong suit, but as I looked over these magazines I felt the oh-so-pleasant ache of craving.  I deeply desired a tall glass of hibiscus iced tea and a summer squash frittata. These were not desires coming from what had been put in front of me in a news feed. These desires were coming from inside of me. My burn-out was being replaced by a burning appetite, not just for food, but for savoring the present moment.

As the 6-hour experiment came to a close, you couldn’t have paid me to turn on my phone! That night, I snuggled into freshly washed sheets with a book about Tuscan life in my hands. My belly, my heart, my mind, and my soul felt FULL. Not full from all I had squeezed into the day, but full from all I squeezed out of it by turning my attention toward what is real.

May this story serve as a powerful reminder of connection; not the digital kind, but the kind that comes from tasting fresh zucchini and smooth Gruyere baked into fluffy eggs, mixed and made with one’s own hands.

Toasting you with a glass of hibiscus iced tea,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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SAVORING SUMMER INSTAGRAM CHALLENGE!

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Summer Lovers,

There is a mantra that has profoundly changed my life these past few months.  It is:

Abundance is not measured by how much you can get, but by how deeply you can savor what you have.

(click to tweet!)

The true essence of Sacred Seduction® is allowing life to seduce you, and savoring the present moment through the senses.  As summer begins its slow spiral into fall, I invite you to slow down and taste all the fruits summer has borne through the Savoring Summer Instagram Challenge!

Every day is a different prompt, providing a focus point to give summer the full applause, attention and appreciation she deserves. Each post counts as an entry, and every week a winner will be randomly chosen to receive a very special prize!

 

To participate in this challenge follow these two simple steps:

  1. Click here to follow me for daily inspiration @kittycavalier
  2. Use the tag #sacredseduction when sharing your photos to be entered to win one of our fabulous prizes shown below!

SAVORING SUMMER IG CHALLENGE


 

PRIZES

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Every week a winner will be selected to receive a gorgeous new oracle deck*! Oracle decks are one of my favorite ways to use beauty as a tool to connect to the divine.

*This challenge is not sponsored by or affiliated with the authors or publishers of these decks.

You will be amazed at how noticing the beauty right under your nose will make this last month of summer so much sweeter.  Remember to follow me here and use the tag #sacredseduction to win!

All My Love,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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THE DRUNK GUY WHO SHOWED ME MY PURPOSE

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Beloveds,

One night several years ago, I arrived early to meet a friend at a bar, and started chatting with three Scottish gentleman who were visiting New York for the first time. When they asked me what I did for a living I said “I teach classes for women on the connection between sensuality and spirituality.”
Record scratch.

“Oh realllllly!!” said the most boisterous of the bunch, leaning back on his heels, thumbs in the front pockets of his jeans. All of sudden a photo was snapped of him posing next to me with his thumbs up like a poacher who had just made a kill. The photo was then posted on social media with the hashtag #internationalsexexpert (which I am not.)

Then he said something that changed my life forever:

“Women need coaching in this stuff? Come on, all a woman has to do is talk to me and I just assume she wants to fuck me!”

Record scratch again. A deeper cut this time.

The group laughed tentatively, offering me a “we can’t take him anywhere” awkward side glance.

The most painful part of this interaction was not the comment itself, it was my own reaction to it. The comment scared me and I froze. My blood turned cold, and worst of all, I laughed along with them like nothing was wrong.

As painful as it was, I needed to have that moment. It was a profound moment of: This. Needs. To. Stop.

The pattern of dissociation where it is more safe for a woman to freeze her truth inside her own blood than it is to speak it out loud, needs to stop.

The pattern where men are so discouraged from feeling their vulnerability that it is easier to view a woman as an object to conquer, rather than a human being whose beauty and power could very well break their tender hearts, needs to stop.

The pattern of courage being defined by one’s ability to harden, numb, and endure; rather than to soften, wake up, and feel, needs to stop.

I don’t take responsibility for the way the culture has shaped my sensuality to be included in Manifest Destiny. But I DO take responsibility for the ways I contribute to it when I choose to numb out and fake it, rather than pause and feel (no matter how uncomfortable it may be for myself OR for those around me to witness.)

It occurred to me in retrospect that he wouldn’t have been able to make me feel like an object if I didn’t already feel like one myself; and that in order to stop these patterns of how women are perceived, we MUST BEGIN with the way we perceive ourselves.

There is a depth to Sacred Seduction that is not always visible to the naked eye. To an outsider it might sound like classes on how to stroke your lover with a feather or walk successfully in high heels. But Sacred Seduction is much more than that.

When a woman enters this community she is often slouching and hiding in ways she herself may not even be aware of. When she leaves, she is open, bright and shining, with a confidence that is completely authentic and utterly impenetrable.

At it’s heart, Sacred Seduction is a practice that results in no longer feeling like you need to hide who you are, or what you feel. Period.

Without that interaction with my Scottish friend, I don’t think I would  have been able to see that so clearly. That interaction shaped the course of my work. Every program, every coaching session and every retreat I create all center around interrupting that moment of “freeze”, and help us all to heal through our willingness to feel. For that I am extremely grateful.

Today is the last day of the Flash Sale Fundraiser where all of my signature courses are on sale, and 20% of all purchases go to Rise As One; an organization that provides shelter and education for young women and girls exploited through child marriage.

Let’s change the way feminine sensuality is perceived, by changing the way we perceive it in ourselves.

Click here to shop the Flash Sale Fundraiser now!

P.S. – This flash sale ends tonight at 10pm. These courses are being offered at 50% off, (WHAT??) and are normally only available seasonally! They will be taken out of the shop tonight. Click here to explore and enjoy this massive savings now!

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WEEKEND FLASH SALE FUNDRAISER STARTS TODAY!

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Poppy Seeds,

I’m very excited to announce that today starts a Flash Sale benefiting a project that is near and dear to my heart, helping empower and educate young women across the globe.

The mission of Sacred Seduction is to make the world a safe and welcoming place for the feminine to thrive in all beings. Lyndsey Thomas Azlynne is an amazing yoga teacher and dear friend who shares this passion.  This Fall, Lyndsey is taking her yoga off the mat and traveling to India to be of service to young women and girls through a project called Rise As One.

Child marriage is a human rights violation affecting 46% of children in India.  Lyndsey has been selected as one of six women to go to Nagpur to build a Girls Home, providing housing and education to vulnerable girls and women, helping them to escape child marriage, poverty and become change-makers in their communities.

Starting today all products in my shop  are on sale including a limited number of one-on-one coaching sessions, with 20% of every dollar going to the Rise As One project.

It’s like a Sacred Seduction Bake Sale y’all!  But even more satisfying than a chocolate chip cookie.

This Flash Sale will continue through Sunday but certain items are limited in quantity, so go get em’ while they’re hot!  See you in the shop!

All my love,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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5 Books To Ignite Your Senses This Summer

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Summer Lovers!

Is there be a more satisfying, simple luxury than curling up with a wonderful book on a summer afternoon?

If there is, I dare you to prove it to me.

Each of the books on this list teases and tantalizes in their own unique way. They make me want to grab you by the collar, pull you close and whisper: YOU. MUST. READ. THIS. (a.k.a. – The Kitty Cavalier Stamp Of Approval.)


 

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Animal, Vegetable, Miracle

By Barbara Kingsolver

Who can make homesteading a romantic, whimsical and deeply moving affair? B. K., that’s who.  In this beautiful memoir she writes about the year long experiment of growing 100% of her family’s food, right down to the big, buoyant balls of mozzarella cheese.  A sweet and savory read for sure.

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Why I Wake Early

By Mary Oliver

Let me tell you something: there is a VERY GOOD REASON for owning a fainting couch, and her name is Mary Oliver.  I read a poem from this book upon waking, when my consciousness is still as fuzzy and innocent as a baby chick.  Just listen to this line: “Why worry about the loaves and fishes? If you say the right words, the wine expands.” Keep your smelling salts handy.

The Soul of Sex

By Thomas Moore

Love Sex? Love Theology? I think we have a winner!!! The Soul of Sex  is a deep, soulful, tender exploration of the holiness of the erotic. If rapturous nude angels in stained glass windows could talk, they would write  this book.

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Coming To My Senses: A Story of Perfume, Pleasure and an Unlikely Bride

By Alyssa Harad

This memoir begins as a woman’s embarrassing fetish with fragrance, and flourishes into a deeply intimate, personal story.  Ms. Harad leaves behind the straight lines of the life she expected, and leapt towards the curves of passion, which in this case just happen to take on the voluptuous shape of bottle of perfume.

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The Spy

by Paul Coelho

Ever wish the author of The Alchemist would write a book about, I don’t know, legendary seductress Mata Hari? Wish granted my sweet! This book is like a solid square of chocolate made with 100% cacao. Potent, dark, deep, vulnerable, and poetic.  Sigh.


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Ministry In A Miniskirt

1987, 2017

As a child, the future career I longed for most was to become a priest.  Every Sunday morning before the rest of my family woke up, I would put on my Dad’s bathrobe and my Mom’s scarf, set out two candles (which I couldn’t light because I was too young to light a match), and pretend I was the preacher giving a mass. 

I spoke sermons, baptized my baby dolls and cut tiny circles of bread to serve as the Eucharist.  As I would play I could feel a calling of service and spirituality unfold inside me like a fragrant Easter lily.

In the faith I grew up in however, women were not permitted to be priests.  That dream died on the vine until a recent weekend when I was asked to create a service for the Unitarian Universalist church, of which my Mom is a member.

This particular congregation has a part-time minister, which means that half the time the minister creates the service, and on the off weeks someone from the congregation itself does the job. When the worship organizer learned of my work and asked me to create a service, I may have knocked her over with the volume of my resounding “YES!”

Not only was this a chance to live my childhood dream, it was an opportunity to give back to a community that has given so much love, friendship and kindness to my mom and myself.

The U.U. principles are inclusive of all roads to faith.  The theme I chose for the service was “Letting Spirit Speak Through The Senses.” We sang the songs Morning Has Broken and Wake Now My Senses, and read the touching, simple poem “Trees” by Joyce Kilmer. 

For my homily, I shared straight from my heart about my personal journey of disowning and then reclaiming my body as an instrument through which I communicate with Spirit.  I shared stories about using my senses to pray, like this one about the day my Dad passed away. We did a meditation that honored the body as a temple, and an exercise to open our eyes to the beauty all around us.

I recorded my talk to share with you here. Just click the image to have a listen. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!   (Note: The audio quality did not come out as superb as I planned so I invite you to use it as an opportunity to listen more deeply.)

To close the service we sang “Annie’s Song” by John Denver, (a.k.a. “You Fill Up My Senses”.)  Mom was standing next to me, and as I put my arm around her shoulders and she put her arm around my waist, we both started to cry.  That song was a lullaby she used to sing to me as a baby.  As the whole congregation sang together, I swelled with gratitude at how lyrics to this song were imprinted into my cells as a child, and helped to shape my destiny.

Here’s to childhood dreams coming true in unexpected ways, and dreams we may not even know we have, like performing ministry in a miniskirt.

All My Love,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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Happy June, It’s Time to SWOON!

Happy Summer Darlings!
 
Welcome to the June edition of Swoon – a monthly feature where I share all things succulent, savory and swoonable.

 

This month we’ve got everything from a french honey to fresh makeovers; from sex magic to Shalimar. There’s a dark horse, a bright cocktail, and more treasures than you can shake your beach parasol at.

Swoon on sister!


 

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  • An inspiring and enlightening article “This is What Naked Power Looks Like”, featuring one of my favorite performers of ALL TIME, Miss Perle Noire.
  • Summer + Pineapple + Elegance + Raspberry + Ease + Beauty + Yum = This cocktail.
  • “The exploration of a mother’s midlife sexuality might not seem groundbreaking, until you think about how few people are doing it.” The Emancipation Of The MILF is an article that will provoke you in all the right places.

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    • Friends, listen to me very carefully. If you want to understand power, relationships, communication, intimacy and personal agency in a way it’s never been articulated before, do not take your eyes or ears off of this woman. Kasia Urbaniak has been a dear friend for over 15 years,  and I can say with total confidence that she is the real deal. Listen to this podcast, and feel how every word she says is like a sapphire dropped right into your hand.
    • Glennon. Effing. Doyle. This woman shakes me awake – wake to love, awake to beauty, awake to kindness, awake to truth. I cannot get enough of her, especially this post about anger which states: “We assume that if we are angry, there is something wrong with us instead of considering that maybe we are angry because there is something wrong with the world.”
    • Want to learn how orgasm can make you a published author or help you travel the world? Listen to every word Veronica Varlow says in this podcast on her signature: Sex Magic.

SWOON JUNE 2017 3


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An Act Of Inward Romance

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Recently a friend asked me the question “So Kitty, what do you do for play?

If you ever want to stress a fully grown adult out entirely, ask them that question.

I lead a very pleasure based life, but actual, active playing? Like, the kind I did when I was a kid? I know I’m not alone in feeling like I’m a bit rusty on that front.

This awareness came startlingly to light recently as a result of an experiment I’ve been doing for the past two months.

Every night, not long after the sun sets, I turn off all my electronics and literally unplug. No checking, no cheating until the next morning.

It’s a detox, and just like any other kind of detox there are times where I feel sheer, almost hallucinogenic bliss. Other times, it feels like a baboon with rabies has just been unleashed inside my mind.

During a recent, highly baboon-ish kind of evening with 4-5 hours of unoccupied time stretched out wide before me, I looked over at my dog Winnie and said, “What the hell do we do now???”

I remembered my friend’s question about play.  I decided, ruefully, to surrender and become one of those people who colors in coloring books at night for fun. (Cringes lovingly)

I turned on Diana Krall and lit every candle in my living room. I carefully chose a color scheme from my collection of colored pencils and I made a go of it. 

It was surprisingly calming, very soothing, and quite sweet.  

After I finished coloring the page I flipped it over and wrote a good old fashioned letter to my best friend in California.  We hadn’t connected in awhile, so I wrote about what’s new in my life, what books are on my nightstand, the fact that I had just spontaneously retold Winnie her adoption story, and when I did she rolled onto back like a baby sea otter and wagged her tail. 

All of these precious details would most likely have gotten lost in a phone call or a Facetime, but in the space of spontaneous play, they tumbled out like fat rolls of pink velvet ribbon.

I decorated the envelope with heart shaped stickers that exclaimed “Bonjour!” and “Je T’aime!”, with a Miles Davis postage stamp trumpeting across the top right corner.  

It was all so utterly romantic.

It was an act of inward romance.

Romance can bring so much to our lives, but when solely dependent on another person for it’s delivery, it is almost always set up for disappointment. 

Inward romance is an act of cozying up to the present moment, and giving it a warm, sweet embrace through the senses. (tweet this!)

What I’d really like to know from you in the comments is: (brace yourself) What does play feel like for you, and what’s your favorite way to do it?

Meet me in the Chucky Cheese Ball Pit,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

 

 

 

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Make Space For Grace

Do you remember when you first learned how to pray?

As a little kid I prayed because I thought it would make me a good girl. As a rebellious teenager I wouldn’t be caught dead praying in public, but at night I would talk to God when no one was looking.

As a young adult I did alot of “Santa Claus” praying – stating grand desires and setting specific time frames in which they should manifest. I’d do abundance rituals, love rituals, rituals to find my dream job, etc.

All of it seemed spiritual on the outside, but when I take an honest look my true intention was: “God please bring me money, love and clarity on my purpose so I can become rich and famous and have great sex within 30 days or less, ok?”

Today, I talk to the Divine as a trusted friend, rather than an authority figure I’m trying to impress. I also don’t pray for specific things anymore, instead I say a simple, powerful prayer in the morning that goes like this:

Please show me, and make me willing to look.

Please speak to me, and make me willing to listen.

Please guide me, and make me willing to act.

Then I sit for about ten minutes (or sometimes ten breaths), and in those silent moments, I make space for grace.

Grace is what floods in when I suddenly, intuitively know how to handle a problem that all the effort in the world couldn’t seem to fix.

I could read every book, go to every course and talk to every counselor, but grace? Grace is FREE Y’ALL!

What grace demands is not effort, but wide open space. (tweet this)

quote. grace demands not effort

If I sit on my hands, get out of my own way, and (lovingly) put a sock in it, grace slowly appears like Charlotte the spider, quietly weaving her web in the moonlight.

How do you define grace, practice it, and make space for it? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

With grace and love,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

 

 

P.S. – I’ve just added two more free coaching spots as a bonus for enrolling in Sacred Seduction® Live in NYC. If you sign up today that spot is yours!

 

 

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Whatever your flaws are, Flaunt Them

 

Angel Wings,

I just got back from a magical week in Tulum, Mexico teaching Sacred Seduction® and Qoya at the Astrotwins Astrology retreat.  When I got there, the very first thing I did was rip off what I was wearing and run toward those crystal blue Caribbean waters like my hair was on fire.

Swimming and frolicking naked on the beach makes me feel like a wee bebe at an amniotic pool party!  But, it was not always this way. 

There was a time I would rather have SET my hair on fire rather than show my bare skin on the beach.

In fact, it was not long ago that I couldn’t even wear short sleeves in the summer time, I felt so much anxiety about my body. Like the scene in the movie Bridesmaids where she is sick and dripping buckets of sweat but trying to pretend she’s fine, that was me on a 90 degree day in my summer cardigan!

I’m very grateful to Jo Weldon who at my first burlesque lesson shared these words: “Whatever your flaws are, flaunt them.”

That day I made a promise to follow the trail of glittered bread crumbs towards loving and flaunting my feminine form, wherever it may lead. It led to some seriously wild and uncomfortable places! But it was always leaping (or sometimes hobbling) beyond my comfort zone that truly made the medicine.

As Naomi Wolf once said “A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience.”

Here’s to honoring Eve, opening wide to that shiny apple, and taking a big fat bite. 

CHOMP,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

 

 

P.S. – next year’s retreat is already open and filling up fast! I will be there teaching Qoya and Sacred Seduction for my fourth year in a row, it is that irresistible.  I’d love to see you there, April 28-May 4th 2018!

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