Unstoppable Confidence (Wrap Dress Optional)

confidence dvfclick to tweet!

There are many of tools for feigning confidence, which is great for faking it til you make it. But how do we actually….make it?

Yes there are quick hits like donning a new lip gloss and improving your posture. (Both of which I fully endorse.)

But sustainable confidence, unshakeable confidence, yoga-pants-covered-in-dog-fur-and-pepper-in-your-teeth-but-you’re-still-hot-and-you-know-it kind of confidence (hey, she did say you can make ANYTHING look good), that confidence comes down to one thing babes:

CHARACTER.

Character is who we are when no one is looking.

Character is also who we are when everyone is looking, and we choose what’s true even if it’s not what’s common.

Character can be telling the truth, setting a boundary, listening to someone without planning how you’re going to respond, or loving someone for who they are instead of who we think they should be.

Character is forgiveness.

Character is cleaning up your own side of the street before pointing out someone else’s mess.

Character is offering help in cleaning up their mess if they ask for it.

Character is this and a whole bunch of other things.

Put all that in a wrap dress, and sister you’ll be unstoppable.

Love,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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A God You Can See & Touch

A God You Can See & Touch

Butter Beans,

Recently I was listening to a woman speak on spirituality, and she shared a beautiful story about how several years ago her house had burned to the ground.  “It was a devastating loss,” she said “and yet it was the greatest blessing, because it brought me out into the country, where I found a God that I could see and touch.”

My ears perked like a wolf.

As a lifelong seeker, I seem to always be doing  just that. Seeking.

Why do I go to dance and yoga classes? Seeking to feel the divine in my bones.

Why do I abstain from addictive patterns? Seeking to make space for the divine in my life.

Why do I hike and pray and meditate? Seeking to hear the voice of the divine in my thoughts.

Of course, the reason I do all this seeking is because it often feels joyous.

But there are also times where it feels utterly LABORIOUS.

So when this woman said that she found a way to see, taste, feel and touch God, I drew in closer to take notes on where to find the shortcut.

“By moving to the country I took up a hiking meditation, and started to notice the miracle of an acorn becoming a tree, and the fact that every single day, the sun rises and sets without me having to do ANYTHING to make it happen.”

My gaze drifted outside the window to the trees which were bare from the freeze of winter, naked without noticing, like Adam and Eve.

I looked at the muddy grass which, currently  brown and showing no signs of life, was quietly hibernating like a sleeping bear under the frozen ground, gathering and containing it’s energy for the roar of spring.

I looked up to the moisture in the sky we call clouds, always changing, always moving, just like the moisture inside my very own cells.

I know that finding God/Goddess/The Divine in nature is not news.

But there was something about that particular moment where it occurred to me that any time I’m feeling alone, anytime my seeking feels like it’s going nowhere, anytime I feel like the voice of God can’t be heard, or the presence of God can’t be felt, all I need to do is look out the window.

AND IT’S ALL.

RIGHT.

THERE.

Tangible. Physical. Alive.

Thank the sweet baby Venus.

All my love,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

 

 

 

 

Image via Everyday Parisian

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Announcing A Brand New Retreat!

venus rising retreat

Bon Bons,

When I say the word Venus or Aphrodite, what usually comes to mind?

Dark chocolates and hot make-outs? Wild romance and lacy lingerie?

Like most things when it comes to womanhood, this narrow definition barely scratches the surface of the role Venus energy plays in our lives.

The planet Venus influences:

  • Your personal style and what you wear
  • How and why you spend your money
  • Every relationship in your life: friendships, parents, children, co-workers and intimate partners
  • What parts of the world you feel drawn to
  • How you like to be courted and cared for
  • Your personal love language

We all have a specific astrological blueprint when it comes to the planet Venus, where our needs and desires in life are literally pre-written in the stars.

Your Venus (your innate, pleasure driven, erotic nature) is ever flowing throughout your life. The problem is, usually the only place Venus gets a voice is in bed with a lover, on a first date with a new love interest, or in relationship with a life long partner.

This is like having a full deck of cards but only getting to play with ONE of them.

The result is that you feel deprived of the succulence, joy and pleasure of being alive.

If you want to see healthy Venus energy in action, just look at any little girl.

She has an insatiable drive for play. She is naturally drawn to beauty. She loves to dress up in her personal style, no matter how eccentric it may seem. She is clear about what she wants, and asks for it without shame.

We all have this innocent, playful Venus energy at our core.

But in a world that seeks to dominate and control a woman’s pure, innocent, playful erotic power, these round curves get constricted and penned in by all the straight lines that are expected of her.

If your Venus energy has been buried, ignored, or misguided in the direction of only serving others for far too long, allow us to welcome you to…

THE VENUS RISING RETREAT

June 6-10th 2018 in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina

venus is more than a concept

Imagine Qoya movement every morning, three delicious, gourmet meals every day, a special chocolate tasting ritual, hundreds of rose petals, luxurious gifts, evening candlelight Pleasure Yoga, extravagant Goddess rituals like you have never experienced…and so much more!

There are only 15 spots available, and for a limited time you can enjoy $200 off the tuition.

Click here to learn more and join us at this gorgeous feast for the senses!

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An Investment Guaranteed To Payoff

An Investment With Guaranteed Payoff

Get that money, girl

Beloveds,

When it comes to resources, there are three that top the list:

1. Money

2. Time

3. Energy

The thing is, when it comes to efficiency, these are listed and treated in a backwards order.

We usually put all of our attention on growing and squandering the first two, when what we are really after the whole time is #3.

Have you ever watched a three year old in action and thought “God, if I had that much energy, I’d get so much done!”

Children have a limitless amount of energy to support their growth. When we become adults, it’s not so much that our energy drains.

It is that we are taught faulty investment strategies when it comes to the use of this resources.

Examples of these faulty investment strategies:

– Fake smiles

– Sitting all day

– Putting the need for production ahead of the need for pleasure and fun

If we were in school for investing, this strategy would be considered a lesson in TOTAL LOSS.

I got rear ended recently, and the insurance company called my case a total loss, meaning the value of the car did not exceed the amount it would cost to perform the repairs.

I wonder what would happen if just for one day, you prioritized investing in your energy first and foremost?

What would give you the biggest ROI’s at the end of the day?

What would change in your routine if your intention was not producing and earning as much as you can, but protecting and nurturing the energy that allows you to produce and earn in the first place?

What if instead of milking your energy reserves until the teats run dry, or falsely stimulating milk (energy) production with hormones and synthetics, you simply gave your body the time and space to create more milk? Even if that is only  a few deep breaths, right….now?

This is definitely one gamble worth taking.

Moo,

 KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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Are you sitting on your assets, but calling them flaws?

django_wide-c0793de0a0caa09c3c110ffc92186147641e510dDear Ones,

Do you love a good miracle story?

Especially one about a legendary 1930’s French musician with a polka dot tie and a pencil mustache?

Good. Read on.

Yesterday was Django Rheinhart’s bithday.

Mr. Reinhardt was one of the greatest guitar players of the 20th century. He was born in Belgium in a wooden trailer to a family of Roma (or gypsies, as they’re commonly called.) The word gypsy gets quite romanticized these days, but in 1910 this was no glamorous title. Being a Roma meant being an outcast; distrusted and persecuted wherever you went.

Django was a wildly talented self-taught musician, mastering the guitar and banjo as a child, and playing Paris nightclubs in his teens. But one night in 1928, at the age of 18, a tragic fire brought on by a dropped candle set his caravan aflame. He and his young wife made it out alive, but his leg and hand were badly burned.

He permanently lost the use of two fingers on his left hand.

For many, that would have meant the end of their career. But Django persevered. He adapted his playing to accommodate the loss of his fingers and went on to become one of the greatest jazz musicians of all time.

In fact, many say that it was BECAUSE OF his impairment that his music had such personality and distinction.

Did you catch that?

Not in spite of his impairment. BECAUSE OF.

His flaw became his greatest asset.

Before I started performing burlesque, I couldn’t even wear short sleeves because I was so ashamed of my arms, not to mention the rest of my body.

But when I started attending burlesque shows and saw legends like Dirty Martini,  Little Brooklyn,  World Famous *BOB*, Tigger,  Jo Weldon and Perle Noire, I saw that it wasn’t conformity that made them so spectacular. It was their NON-conformity that made them irresistible to watch.

When I started performing myself, the best compliment a fan could give me was to say “After watching you, I feel so much permission to just be exactly who I am.”

In my case, my once perceived flaws – my belly and hip flesh that jiggled, my breasts that swung low – were now my greatest assets.

The Course in Miracles says: “A miracle is just a shift in perception from fear to love.”

What “flaws” might you be trying to hide right now, that may just be your greatest assets waiting to be uncovered?

What miracles have you been searching for, that you may in fact be already sitting on as we speak?

Hit play on this playlist I made for you, and Django may just help you find out.

Rooting for you,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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When pain is medicine

then the risingYou know how some people choose a word as their theme for the year ahead? When I look back on 2017, if I could choose a word retrospectively, it would probably be PAIN.

2017 was the year that I let pain have its way with me. All the behaviors I had previously used to numb or soften pain (booze, boys and spending namely) came to a complete stop.

When someone speaks of a dramatic transformation, there is usually a statement like “one day I realized” or “one day I just decided,” and after that life becomes a golden butterball.

I call bullshit on this.

I know that if the soul could speak, it would say “one day the pain became so unbearable, I had no choice but to do things differently.”

Some nights the pain was so bad I felt like it was burning me up. And it did burn me up, thank God. It burned me up so good it burned away all the bullshit.

What was left behind is the truth of who I really am.

It all came down to this: I’d rather live a boring life that’s true, than glamorous life that is an illusion. (tweet it)

Today, my life isn’t boring at all. (Well, sometimes it is, but I know now that that’s because I’m human, not because I’m boring.) I am a different person than I was a year ago – more grounded, less afraid, more honest, and definitely more genuinely happy.

I share this with you today because weekends – Sundays especially – were always the hardest times. If you are having a hard weekend, if you are in the burn, please remember that pain is it’s own kind of medicine. When you stop telling it to shut up, it becomes teacher rather than just torturer. And you are not alone.

This process is far from over for me. But as someone whose made it to the other side of the burn more than once, I can say with absolute conviction that it is SO. WORTH. IT.

First the pain, then the waiting, then the RISING. ❤️ I love you.

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Italy Is Calling, And We Must Go

TUSCANY RETREATCiao Amore!

As we begin this new year, you may be thinking about a life change – a new chapter.

You may be feeling like last year went by so fast, as all years seem to do, and you are determined to do things differently this time.

You want 2018 to be the most sensual, embodied, pleasure filled year of your life.

And I am thrilled to announce that your timing is just perfect.

Today, The 2018 Sacred Seduction Tuscany Retreat is officially open for enrollment.

There are many ways to tour Tuscany, but none like this.

TUSCANY RETREAT

Take a moment and imagine yourself…

…being woken by the sound of sweet birds perched high in the olive trees outside your bedroom window. You stretch your body across fine cotton sheets and open your eyes to the 17th century villa you call home for this week. You look out the window and see rolling hills, gorgeous gardens, perfectly lined vineyards and bubbling marble fountains.

After a delicious gourmet breakfast of fluffy eggs, homemade granola, freshly picked fruit and fine Italian coffee, you walk to a secret garden to dance and move your body in a Qoya class, with the warm Tuscan sun on your back. You spend a luxurious morning studying the feminine arts alongside some of the most interesting, heart-centered, hilarious women you have ever met.

After a farm-fresh, delicious lunch you head into the city of Lucca for a few leisurely hours of shopping and sightseeing, concluding the afternoon with a slow glass of wine while people watching on the piazza.

Upon returning to the villa you take a sunset swim in the garden pool, then dress for an elegant dinner, followed by an evening of surprise, sensory delights and meaningful transformation.

TUSCANY RETREATS

This retreat delights you with all the pleasures of Tuscany, while inspiring and daring you to grow into the sensual, confident, powerful woman you have always longed to become.

  • “Italy was my wake up call. Before the retreat I identified as a victim of a hurtful love relationship, repeatedly telling myself and others I was unhappy and unsure of myself. Post-Italy, I have matured into the hero of my own story of independence.” LISA KRAFT
  • “This retreat was the deepest relaxation and calm I have felt in over 20 years.” NATALIE KNIGHT
  • “The tools I learned continue to transform me every day. I walk this earth with a reverence I didn’t know how to access before the retreat. It’s a feeling every woman deserves.” LAUREL DUNCAN

The 2017 retreat sold out in ten days.

These rooms will go FAST so click here to grab yours! And yes, there are payment plans available!

I can’t think of a more powerful way to begin this year than by investing in your power, confidence, pleasure and presence.

Click here to join the adventure of a lifetime!

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New Year, New Reasons to SWOON!

Swoon by Kitty Cavalier

 

Gumdrops,

I am so pleased to bring you 2018’s first edition of SWOON! If you’re new to Swoon, it is a monthly blog feature where I deliver all the articles, items, and ideas that currently send me to the fainting couch in delight.  Get your feather fan ready, here we go!


 

Photo Jan 08, 9 07 05 PM

  • I recently re-watched the movie Advanced Style with a friend who had never seen it before.  When she asked  why I love it so much, my answer was: “Often the image of Divine Feminine calls to mind a woman in robes with her hands in prayer.  But when I think of the Divine Feminine, it is these women I see.”  If you haven’t seen this movie, run, don’t walk to watch it now!
  • The creators of the movie also made this COLORING book which I promptly ordered an now proudly own.
  • Calling all Harry Potter Nerds who also happen to be Glamazons!

Photo Jan 08, 9 14 45 PM

Photo Jan 08, 9 16 17 PM

Photo Jan 08, 9 17 43 PM

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The One Intention You Can Count On This Year

The One Intention You Can Count On This Year

Dear Confetti Sprinkles,

I’ve noticed a trend lately, and I’m wondering if you’ve seen it too.

A flood of meme’s and updates that say something like:

“I’m going to SLAY 2018!”

“I’m going to KILL IT in 2018!!”

“2018 better WATCH OUT!!!”

These are usually following, or right alongside, pictures of people stomping on, hitting, or tossing 2017 in the garbage.

Do you also notice, that it is usually the same people every year who post these images, simply switching out the current year for the year before?

As I set my intentions fireside on New Years Eve, I did not ask for anything specific. “The truth is” I wrote, “I may think I know what I want, but I have very little idea of what I actually need. So my only true intention this year is to be a woman of character.”

I, like you, have no clue what this year will bring.

Most likely, it will bring lessons, growth, hardships, joys, surprises, and more. Just like the year before it, and just like the year before that.

I do not wish to slay it, or kill it.

I wish to PARTNER with it.

I wish to be shaped by it, to work with it, to meet it like a friend who I can count on to be brutally beautifully honest.

While we can’t control time itself, we can control how we allow time to shape us. (click to tweet)

Will we take the challenges of this year and allow them to make us more kind, wise, and discerning?

Will we meet our next New Years Eve stomping on ’18, hoping  lucky 19 will be our saving grace?

Or will we bow to 2018 the way a student bows to their teacher, with quiet reverence and respect?

We’ve got 362 days to find out.

Rooting for you,

 KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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The Pace Of Grace

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Ribbon Curls,

Recently I was on the phone with a girlfriend who is going through a really tough, WTF, skin-on-fire kind of breakup. 


When I asked her how she would like to be supported, she opted for feedback. “As trite as it sounds, what if we just took this a day at a time?” I asked. 


“A day at a time??” she yelled back. “Every day I wake up in hell, then stay in hell all day, then pray for sleep until 4am, then I wake up in hell all over again! Why would I take this a day at a time when every single day SUCKS!?” 


It was a very, very valid point. 


“Okay….” I replied, “How about one minute at a time? What if for the next 60 seconds, we just sit here together and breathe?

I know it won’t take the pain away. I know it won’t change things. But I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. And I know we can get through the next 60-seconds if we do it together. Ready?”


Our one minute came and went. 


It wasn’t easy. 


It wasn’t pretty. 


But we made it through. Together. 


This my friends, is the pace of grace. 


The pace of grace doesn’t happen in grand sweeps.

It happens one breath, one minute, one heartbeat at a time. Like a baby’s toenails.  


I know it sounds funny, but come on! Baby toenails don’t get there because of one bold wave of The Toenail Fairy’s wand! They gracefully grow one heartbeat, one breath, one moment at a time. 


May we all remember, that all great things are created one breath, one heartbeat, one moment at a time.

Inhaling + Exhaling,


KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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