Our #7PEARLS Sweepstakes Winner!

Oh my heavens.

Thank you to everyone who participated in the 7 Pearls Of Seductive Wisdom contest on Instagram. What a hoot it was! And what a wonderful kick-off to my brand new, fresh-out- of-the-oven, hotter-than-a-hot-cross-bun program: The 7 Virtues of the Seductive Woman. (Click to take a bite!)

When creating the drawing for this contest, I could have just drawn out of a hat and posted a photo of the winners name. But what kind of seductress would I be if I didn’t teach through doing?

In this video, I am happy to demonstrate and call upon one of my  favorite personal virtues: Cheekiness!

Congrats to our winner! And for more good times and great swim camps, follow me over on Instagram!

You make bath time lots of fun,
k swirl signature

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

My Brand New Course Is Here!

7_1

My Darling Doves,

I am so excited for today. I feel like a little girl who is wired because she couldn’t sleep the night before her big birthday party.

The table is set, the streamers are hung, and my party dress is ON. It is my pleasure to present to you my brand new course: The 7 Virtues Of The Seductive Woman.

This program is very special to me, as all my programs are, but this one in particular sets a new groove in my heart.  For years, many of you have shared a desire to learn Sacred Seduction with a program that can be done at your own pace, anywhere in the world.  Some of you have emailed me to say that you would love to attend one of my classes or retreats, but it’s just not in the cards at the moment and you’d like a more accessible, affordable option.  And then there is my alumni who want a re-fresh with some brand new content to inspire their seductress sparkle.   If any of these sound like you, I am very proud to say that darling, today is our day!

 

Alright, alright.

Have I teased you enough?

Are you ready for the big reveal? Let’s Go!

Click here to take a first look at The 7 Virtues!


 

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

A Make Out Couch, A Mystic & The World On A String = June SWOON!

12 treasures worth swooning over!

My Little Clementines,

It’s June! You know what that means? Time for our monthly edition of Swoon! My new favorite hobby is mining the internet for all the treasures I wish to share with you and squandering them away on a secret little Pintrest board. (rubs hands together with a devilish smile.)

Enjoy and report back as you try each truffle on the tray!

12 treasures worth swooning over!

 

1. This crushed velvet blue sectional from Horchow may cost 9 grand, but can you imagine the make outs you’d have on that thing?

2. “The Benefit of Making Noise In and Out of Bed” of Huff Post by my dear friend Betsy Blankenbaker.  She speaks for all of us and will loosen the noose on your truth with this article. (While we’re at it, her book is pretty rockin’ too.)

3. The Cheeky Mystic is my new Etsy obsession.  Handmade custom candles with rituals, crystals, oils AND glitter?! What more could a Witchy Woman ask for?

12 treasures worth swooning over!

4. Pretty much sums up being a seductress in a nutshell.

5. Fabulous and thought provoking article from the NY Times on learning how to make criticism your new lover.

6. It is no mistake I am only showing you a peek of this red dress.  At only $124 smackers and sizes 4-16 US, it’s worth a click.

12 treasures worth swooning over!

7. This, this right here? This has been my instant go-to whenever I need a smile and a lift for oh, three years.

8. Seven Pearls of Seductive Wisdom is ROCKING on Instagram! It’s like a little seduction advent calender. Click here to get the full scoop and see the seven pearls in their full glory.

9. How do you spell vintage pin-up summer? F-L-O-R-A-L B-A-T-H-I-N-G C-A-P.

12 treasures worth swooning over! 10. It’s here! It’s here! #RSLbook is here! Gala Darling’s first book Radical Self Love is finally available, but guess what? It’s only available for another three weeks and then it’s gone! Ha! Well teased my love, well teased.

11. Amanda Young probes an important question: “Will the world really be saved by Western Women?” with just the right amount of ferocity and grace.

12. I’ve got the world on a string, sittin’ on my neckline….

12 treasures worth swooning over!

**BONUS! Keep your ears perked this Monday, I’ll be revealing a brand new program that I can’t wait to show you!

Until then, all my lovin’,
k swirl signature

 

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

7 Pearls, 7 days, $100 Smackers

pearls of wisdom

 

Seven.

Seven is the number of the seeker; the searcher of Truth.  It is the number of the natural world. Seven is the number of completeness and perfection, both physically and spiritually.

Sounds like someone I know.

Someone called the sacred seductress.

On Monday, June 22nd I am launching a brand new program in how to live an exquisitely steamy, seductive life. I won’t share a single detail about the course yet, but each day until the launch I will drop a new clue containing a pearl of seductive wisdom.

Seven clues. Seven pearls. Seven days.

All the action is happening on Instagram.  Follow me there, and if you tag three friends who you think would enjoy these pearls of wisdom, you will be entered to win a $100 gift card to the seductress candy store: Sephora!

The winner will be announced next week, after the launch of the course.

I can’t wait to open this jewel box and show you the treasures inside. Piece, by piece, by piece.

See you on Instagram!

All my love,
k swirl signature

 

 

 

 


Giveaway Rules

To enter, follow @kittycavalier on Instagram and in the comments of this post, tag three friends you would like to tell about the game. This is your entry in the drawing.  You will receive one entry for every three friends you tag. (The friends you tag will not be entered, unless they create their own separate entry.) This drawing is not affiliated with Sephora in any way.  The duration of the contest is 12am June 15th to 11:59pm June 21st 2015. The winner will be chosen by random drawing and announced on Thursday June 25th.

 

 

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

This Erotic Life


This Erotic Life by Kitty Cavalier

This week, I bought a rose. A real rose bush. The kind you plant in the earth. This might seem like small potatoes, but for a city girl goes through about four basil plants every summer because she can’t keep a single one alive in her kitchen, having my own rose plant is a big deal. I feel a bit like a 13-year old who’s been given the assignment to carry around an egg for a week and pretend it’s my baby.

I bought the rose because lately I’ve been ruminating on just how articulately we see the dance of seduction play out in the relationship between the rose and the sun. The sun seduces life into being, in the rose, and in us. That warm, bright light wakes us up every morning and without question, we follow its lead. At twilight when the sun takes its final bow, our own internal cycles shift into the rhythm of rest. And as the sun descends behind the curtain of the horizon, a whole new show begins.

The star of that show of course, is the moon. Oh, the seduction of the moon, that literal force of nature. Did you know that the moons irresistibility is the whole reason we have a high and low tide? Everything on earth that is not nailed down by the force of gravity yearns toward the pull of the moon. Her magnetism is literally strong enough to make the ocean leave the shore. And with those slow striptease cycles of wax to wane, who wouldn’t line up for that big burlesque in the sky? The moonlight nurtures my rose silently in the night. After a good moon bath I can wake up and find my girl who was just a bud the night before, suddenly full as a poodle skirt.

This Erotic Life by Kitty Cavalier

My rose is a deep, pulsing pink at the center of her bloom, but on the outside her petals fade to white, like a goddess in repose. Glimpsing into her center is like glimpsing into eternity. The name of her species is called “Sweet Surrender”. It’s a beautiful name, but a bit too petit for how I see her. So voluptuous and voluminous is she that after just one day, watering can in hand, I naturally nicknamed her “Mama Cass”.

When tending roses you must obey the energies at play, just like with seduction. For example, you can’t just cut a stem from the bush anytime you want. There is a specific moment in her growth cycle when she let’s you know she is ready. Act before that moment and she will teach you a lesson by taking eons to re-appear, if at all. Act too late and she will hang her head in disappointment at your lack of attention, leaving you both feeling heartbroken and a little embarrassed.

This Erotic Life by Kitty Cavalier

But I think the thing that has me most taken with this romance between the elements and my rose is the speed at which the two lovers embrace. It’s like they had eternity to do so, which if you think about it, I suppose they do. Like teenagers, one minute she looks all green and innocent and tiny, the next thing you know that little bud shows she’s been up to something with her cheeks all flush and blush. The rose and the elements play a chess game that teems with sexual tension. Like master dancers, they transcend the experience of moving as two separate beings and meld into one ecstatic entity.

When I say that seduction is a way of life, people often ask me what that means. Well, this is exactly what it means. When the roots of my rose reach down towards the core of the earth like a child reaching for a parent, or like a taste bud that reaches toward the promise of a ripe summer strawberry, that is life as a love affair. That is the erotic in action. The erotic is not something sequestered to the bedroom when two naked humans come together. Ha! Can you imagine if the rose and the sun only carried out their romance behind closed doors? We’d never get anything done!

As I write to you in this moment, balmy, humid, southern air presses against my skin and collects in the web of my fingers. The chair I am sitting in holds me like an old friend. I am getting drunk on the fragrance of Mama Cass as I bury my nose deep in her center, the same way a lover would bury their nose deep in mine. And this is how I live an erotic life.

This Erotic Life by Kitty Cavalier

Taking life as your lover is not about some hallmark card, Ken-doll, bubble bath, champagne romance come to life. (click to tweet!) An erotic life is steamy, earthy, dark and moist – like mulch. It’s the tight, tall, green stem that is only made better by the danger of the thorn. It is the orgasm of the bloom, an orgasm that lasts WAY longer than 5-9 seconds. It is the orgasm that lives on for eternity, because it never leaves your heart. It leaves an imprint on your soul like the jaguar leaving a footprint in the mud.

Tonight, when your sweet head descends toward the down feathers of your pillow, and your spirit descends into the realm of sleep, take with you this love song from the original Mama Cass, and hear this message from my rose to your ears:

Stars shining bright above you,
Sweet breezes seem to whisper I love you,
Birds singing in the sycamore tree,
Dream A Little Dream Of Me.

Here’s to Eve’s redemption,
k swirl signature

 

 

 

 

Did you enjoy this post? I’d be honored if you shared it.  Click here to share on Facebook and Twitter. 

Photos by Moi!

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

How did the rose ever open its heart?

rose into the sun

One of the questions I am most frequently asked by my clients is: “How can I make my life more of a seduction? One where I wake up and everything has a magic to it, rather than just the droll of my to-do list and every day tasks?”

It’s a great question, an eternal question. One that’s been around since before we learned how to chop wood and carry water. The thing is, a life of seduction is not about waking up to bon-bons and bunny slippers any more than it is putting on a suit to work a 16 hour day.  Either of those things would bore you to tears in time.

Seduction is both yin and yang, masculine and feminine, the heat of the fire and the structure that contains it. So rather than reaching for extremes, we follow the golden rule of creating a seductive life: we make art with what we have.

As an example, I’d like to tell you the story of how I moved out of New York City this winter, and onto a new adventure of living in the South:

The month of February 2015 was like one long going away party.

I remember being showered with fragranced rose petals as a circle of soul sisters whispered the words “farewell Kitty” in a magical ritual.

I remember tracing my fingertips across every square inch of the walls of my empty apartment whispering “thank you, thank you, thank you”.

I nuzzled my nose into the neck of a man who smelled like cedar and looked like James Dean, moving slowly across a dance floor while a hot jazz band crooned out St. James Infirmary.

I drank gallons of rose petal tea with my roxy-star assistant, laughing uproariously to the sound of Jack White’s guitar mixed with the screech of packing tape stretching across box after box.

I remember the street grate steam that once felt like a nuisance, now becoming my swirling good-bye kiss. The hustle and bustle that had grown to drive me crazy over the last few years, I now realized was just the city doing what it does best: showing me tough love like a parent shows a child, knowing all along that I was capable of so much more than I thought, and taking me to task.

I gave myself permission to buy a pack of Parliaments and lean out my kitchen window like a teenager, blowing smoke into the freezing cold air. (Sue me.)

Lot’s of people bought me drinks. Lot’s of people bought me tea. Lot’s of people bought me dinners.

Lot’s of angels came out of the woodwork to give me that one last hug.

The day of my move, as the seconds counted down to my 3pm departure, my dear friends Lauren, Fabiola, Vivi and Stephanie descended on my home like Flora, Fauna and Meriwether. Suddenly, all the last minute stressors like sweeping dust bunnies, disposing of the last haul of throw-aways, what to do with the god damn effing cable box, etc. were taken out of my hands like a screaming baby, happy to now be in the arms of doting Aunties.

Once all that was done, we had one long, luxurious hour to savor each other, do a despacho gratitude ceremony and order a pizza. Fabiola opened the ceremony with this poem by Hafiz:

How
Did the rose
Ever open its heart

And give to this world
All its
Beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light,
Against its
Being,
Otherwise,
We all remain
Too
Frightened.

I love this poem so much. If you ever want to see a seductive life in action, plant a rose bush and watch it grow. For it is this continual encouragement of the light against our being and our willingness to open to it’s embrace that gives us the wisdom, intelligence and inspiration to pick up the turnkey that turns the mundane into the magical: making art with what we have.

Now, your turn…

Tell me in the comments, how have you made art out of life recently? I read every one of your replies, because I need your stories just like you need mine. Seduction takes a village, and we are all in this together.

It’s the beauty that we’ll remember,
k swirl signature

 

 

 

 

Did you enjoy this post? Share it, and next time I see you you’ll get a big, fat kiss on the cheek.  Click to share on Facebook or Twitter.

Photos: Fotothing, Saveur Vegetale, Audrey Hepburn for Vogue

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

New Monthly Feature: SWOON!

Swoon by Kitty Cavalier

My Darling Doves,

After Deep Dive launched last week I have given myself the most seductive gift of all: down time.  In that down time I have come across a myriad of things I am itching to share with you. This happens to me often, so rather than just dropping links here and there, I’ve decided to make this a new monthly feature called (what else?) – SWOON!

I hope you enjoy this dreamy digest of May delights.

SWOON_1Fuck That! A Manifesto – a must read by the formidable and fabulous Gala Darling.

The Public Library. Remember those? I do my best work in libraries.  I’m writing to you from one right now. And I just scored Goldie Hawn’s autobiography for a sweet summer read.  Go visit yours, even if it’s just to smell the books!

You Are Loved box set by my personal aromatherapy muse, Julie Wray at Olivine. Add this to my Christmas List, Birthday List, Easter List, President’s Day List….

SWOON_2She’s preggers! Congrats and love to my dear friend Kate Northrup.  I love how in this post she perfectly models how to savor the arrival of a dream.

I’m always skeptical about Simon and Garfunkel covers after growing up on those songs and holding them so dear, but this performance by First Aid Kit on David Letterman brought a tear to my eye.  Also, the intro by Dave is adorable.

I’m obsessed with White Fir essential oil mixed with Lavender these days.  I got introduced to it by my new massage therapist.  (Who is so talented that I now plan my finances as every $100 being a potential “Jennifer Unit”.)

Phyllis Sues teaches us all the meaning of seduction, and just might be the one to tip the scales and get me to try tango for real.  (That move at 3:00, swoon indeed!)

13 Witchcraft and Magic Museums To Visit, yes please, and thank you very much.

Another dreamy post by Gala Darling featuring a gorgeous video of our week at the Astrotwins retreat in Tulum.  It makes me miss my girls like crazy. (One word: SPONGY!)

What do you find oh-so-swoonable these days? Tell me in the comments!

Fluffing my fainting couch,
k swirl signature

 

 

 

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

What makes me qualified to be your teacher? (Last Day To Enroll In Deep Dive)

IMG_0145Turtle Doves,

Today is the final day to enroll in Deep Dive, my 12-week gem of a course in living as a sacred seductress. I’ve put a ton of work into this program, a lifetime really. I’ve often shared about how in Deep Dive you are my number one priority. But you might be wondering, why would make  you want to be my priority?

Well, I could list my accolades for you.

  • That I am a burlesque dancer that has seduced literally thousands of people all across the country with my wily ways.
  • That for four years I was the enrollment director of a school that teaches women how to design their lives around their pleasure, and received a deep initiation into the feminine and pleasure as a way of life.
  • That I am not just a dancer of Qoya, not just a Qoya teacher, but am a Qoya teacher trainer and a very proud ambassadress of the Qoya lifestyle.
  • That I’ve invested tens of thousands of dollars in my own personal growth education.
  • That I’ve walked the labyrinth of growing up wanting to be a nun, then evolved into the picture of female insecurity, and then pulled myself up by my garter straps to become the confident, embodied, full-time seductress I am proud to be today.
  • That I was once featured (editorially) in Penthouse magazine.
  • That my Mom is really proud of me.
  • And so is my Dad.

These are all important pieces of my credibility. But what makes me most qualified to be your teacher?

I am a woman who walks her talk.

The thing I am most proud of in myself, the best compliment anyone can give me is “Kitty you are so real.” If you read my blog you know I write straight from my heart. If you’ve worked with me you know I will go to any lengths to make sure you march confidently towards living your seductive legend,  shocking even yourself with how amazing you can be. If you’ve heard me speak you know that every piece of wisdom I share comes straight from my life experience. I believe that as a teacher, practicing what you preach is everything.  I believe in my willingness and ability to do just that, but more importantly – I believe in you.

I believe in your ability to turn heads when you enter a room. I believe in your ability to speak your mind no matter what people might think. I believe in the innocence of your seductive nature, and your ability to own it. I believe in your beauty. I believe in your intuition always steering you right. I believe in your ability to leave your lover wide eyed and mouth agape at the rapture-in-the-flesh they just witnessed; even if that rapture was simply you touching up your lipstick. I believe in your ability to hear the word “ no” and take it as a challenge rather than a rejection. I believe that everything you ever need to feel seductive is already there inside of you. And it’s time we wake that Sleeping Beauty up.  

IMG_0188

The reason I am sharing all of this with you, is because I know that there are some of you out there with your tap shoes on, dancing around the decision of whether you are in or out. And so, as your prospective teacher I will offer you some advice on the spot. Listen to me and what I have written here. Listen to the women who have taken the program, and their stories listed below. And then, and most importantly, listen to yourself.

With the air electrified from Beltane yesterday and the full moon on the horizon tomorrow, I really can’t think of a more auspicious time to embark on such a journey of sensuality, growth, sisterhood and daring adventure. Enrollment closes tonight at 10pm EST, and we begin class tomorrow with a full moon group ritual.

I would relish the opportunity to teach you what I know, learn from you in turn, and kick up our heels over the next 12 weeks. All it takes is three little letters…

Y-E-S.

IMG_0135

 

Like A Mermaid In Heat,
k swirl signature


 FROM THE DEEP DIVE ALUMNI:

“People started to tell me I looked different yet it wasn’t external. It was the magnetism and confidence of my seduction. Kitty helped me recognize my seductress and identify the rubble to be cleared so that I can shine and become a great attractor. If you’re considering working with Kitty, the answer is Hell Yeah!!!”

– Lulu Lerner

“In Deep Dive, each exercise helped me examine myself on a deeper level with a kind and gentle eye. The group coaching calls were fun and so helpful. Kitty is wise beyond words and can make anything fun. Deep Dive changed my perspective. I don’t look as things as black or white, right or wrong. My lens has softened and has opened up to so many possibilities for new beauty right in front of my eyes. Deep Dive was a beautiful gift.”

— Christina Reale

“Kitty is a gifted Spiritual Seductress. Allow her to take you by the hand and show you the world, and you will view it with fresh and awakened senses. She meets you where you are at and will take you as far as you’re willing to go. One of the many things I learned being coached by Kitty is learning to overcome my resistances by working with them rather than against them. If you are ready to explore and nourish your innate sensuality, to deepen your creativity, to cultivate your intuition and generally roll with the ebb and flow of life with ease and playfully – Deep Dive with her!”

— Ruth Znotins

“Sacred Seduction taught me that I no longer need to shrink down if my authenticity makes others uncomfortable. Instead I present myself to the world vibrantly, and let the world shape itself around me.”

–Nikki Garrett

Sacred Seduction has taught me how to feel good in my own skin. I now live with the unshakeable truth that I am the bee’s knees – with all my flaws, mistakes, goofiness and awkward stumbles. I finally trust myself. I have put down the heavy bag of self-loathing and walk with a swagger that tells me that I love myself.”

–Jill Lacina

“Since studying Sacred Seduction I feel happier and more able to receive and attract good experiences and people into my world. I have also made friends with some truly amazing, friendly women who are a joy to be around.”

–Laurel Carpenter

Ready to jump in?

Click here to join us in Deep Dive!

 

 

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

Pleasure Marketing Vs. Pain Marketing

pink envelope

Back in my days of being a corporate trainer, I remember hearing this statistic: a person is ten times more likely to buy something that will decrease pain than they are something that will increase pleasure.

How I discovered seduction as a spiritual practice was a multifaceted dance. But one of the places that was my absolute training ground was managing the sales department of a very successful company.  When I first started out as a sales team member, I sucked. Hard. A cold call from me it was like talking to Piglet from Winnie the Pooh.  I was so nervous that I would hang up before you even had the chance to pick up the phone. Or I would spend hours on the phone listening to someone’s life story with no sale in sight, just because I was so grateful someone was talking to me.

Eventually, I had to toughen up and go deeper. I developed deep, personal, caring relationships with my clients. I started making sales through my genuine desire to see my clients grow, rather than just the need to make a quota. I am blessed that I had gifted teachers and coaches to guide me in that process.

The thing that surprised me about becoming savvy at sales is that by default I learned exactly how I could push someone’s buttons if I wanted to. I knew how to listen to someone’s concerns and create a desperate need where there wasn’t one before.  I knew how to pad their resistance and glide them along on a pink cloud, right on into a massive purchase if I wanted to.

But the point is that I didn’t.

One of the things I am most proud of is that after I left that career, both my clients and my team members reflected back to me the integrity they felt in my sales approach.  I never pushed, unless they were asking for a little mother bear nudge. I never manipulated. I stood strong in my belief in the product I was selling, I stood strong in my belief in the client themselves, and I left the results up to a power greater and wiser than the all three of those things combined. And during that time, our team proudly met and often exceeded every target that was set for us.

It seems like there is a lot of marketing out there that is designed to target our pain, make us hyper-aware of it, and then sell a product that provides the solution. Let’s be honest, it’s an approach that works. But let me make one thing clear: I am not interested in scaring you half to death about the progress of your life or lack thereof. I am not interested in making you feel like the Titanic is going down and my courses are the last life preserver on the ship. I care deeply about your pain, but not because I think I can take it away with my magic webinars.

I care about your pain because it is an integral part of what make you, you.  I want to hold your battle scars and perhaps still open wounds up to the light and admire their beauty. I want to touch the war paint on your face and show you the colors of my own. Your pain shows me that you are a woman initiated. You are a woman I can relate to, a woman I respect, and a woman I want to get to know.

272326ba17b1025407f0d5c82658c17c

One of the most treasured pieces of feedback I’ve gotten from my Deep Dive Alumni is that the class taught them how to truly approve of the way they are living their life, despite the attempts of the predatory ego to convince them otherwise. That they received the power to know and own that they are doing it right, even if they did something wrong. Ownership like that is some of the most potent power on earth.  If we could bottle that stuff, I believe we could heal a lot of pain. But that’s the thing; it can’t be bottled because it is alive.  It is wild, organic, untamed and undomesticated.  Just like seduction. Just like you and me.

So yes, here is a link to the Deep Dive program. And if you choose to join us, I would be thrilled. Because in Deep Dive, you are a member of my tribe and my seduction family, and seeing you take the reigns of your seductive power is my top priority. Every member of this program gets my full attention. It is my pleasure to give, and I know it would bring you more pleasure than you can imagine to receive.

Pleasure, Power and Purpose. These are the three pillars of what is means to live as a sacred seductress. They are the legs of the table, the points on the triangle, and the road map for living a seductive life.

Deep Dive closes for enrollment at 10pm Saturday night. The golden invitation has been extended. I await your RSVP.

With the ecstatic tingle of anticipation,
k swirl signature

 

 

 

 

Want to take a peek behind the curtain of Deep Dive? Click here to watch the trailer.

A Deep Dive into the Art Of Sacred Seduction

 

Photo Source: Plenty of Colour

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

The Seductress And The Stud

The Seductress And The Stud by Kitty CavalierOne Saturday morning not long ago, I awoke to the kiss of my lover telling me he was stepping out to get coffee. I told him to take a set of keys because I would probably walk the pooch while he was gone. About five minutes later there was a knock on my door. “He must have forgotten something,” I thought as I climbed out of bed in a see-through French lace slip and flung the front door wide open.

To my surprise, standing there was my neighbor Angela, arm in arm with a complete stranger. “Oh hi!!!” she said. “My friend here is thinking of moving into the building, and since you’re moving out we were wondering if she could take a look at your place?”

“Come on in!” I exclaimed with genuine enthusiasm, and proceeded to give them a grand tour of the apartment from top to bottom, not bothering to throw on a robe. After the tour, I realized I had never shared my book with Angela so I gifted her a copy as I was showing them out. When I opened the door, there stood my fella, coffee and orange juice in hand. Angela looked at me, looked at my book, then looked back up at me and said:

“It sure seems like you know what you’re doing.” 

Later on while relaying this story to a friend, I caught myself saying the words: “I felt like a total stud!” Stud. Stud? The fact that “stud” was the first word to come to my lips was alarming at best, and stayed with me all day long.

A stud is defined as:

  1. a young man :especially one who is virile and promiscuous.
  2. a tough person
  3. a male animal kept for breeding

What is the female equivalent of a stud? Usually the first place our mind travels to is “slut”. But while being called a stud only bolsters a young mans confidence, being called a slut can wreck a young girls life. So what then, is the feminine nomenclature for this feeling of confidence, bravado, power, and most importantly – PRIDE in our erotic adventures and ongoing appeal?

I bet I don’t have to tell you that it starts with a “sed” and ends with an “uctress”.

The etymology of the word stud comes from the German word stān, which means: “to stand”. As a self-proclaimed vocabulary nerd-on-wheels, this thrills me to no end.

The Seductress and The Stud www.kiitycavalier.com/the-seductress-and-the-stud

I have spent my life researching, living, learning, modeling and teaching that the sacred seductress is the ultimate woman of empowerment. She is a woman with the world in the palm of her hand. But rather than using that power for domination and control, she employs it to bring more pleasure, power and purpose to herself and everyone around her. She uses charm over force, flirtation over confrontation, attraction over exertion, and receiving over achieving. Make no mistake – she has no fear of being the first to bite when that is the necessary action. She may have a dazzling manicure, but if she is pressed to fight what she believes in, you just might find blood under her fingernails.

For a sacred seductress, erotic escapades come from a place of deep consciousness and sovereign decision-making. Whether its a string of drunken, reckless one night stands or ecstatic, tantric howling sessions under a full moon, she owns it all. She refuses play into any bullshit shaming and blaming that the patriarchy, terrified of her immense and unpredictable erotic power, would throw her way. In other words:

A sacred seductress is a woman who knows how to STAND.

A Sacred Seductress is a woman who knows how to STAND. -Kitty Cavalier

In 1985 when Madonna’s career was just starting to reach epic proportions, a photographer sold nude photos of her to Penthouse and Playboy for $100,000. Industry experts and critics speculated that her career was absolutely over, that there was no way for her to recover from such a scandal.   What was her response to the photos?

“So What.”

Confidence is the key to unlocking our seductive power.  However, there are two different types of confidence – a.) the kind that comes from hiding your flaws and b.) the kind that comes from owning them. This second kind of ownership, the kind that is impenetrable and unshakeable, that comes from taking the mask off rather than painting one on is the cornerstone of Deep Dive, my 12 week program that starts this Sunday.

Deep Dive is like going to a gym, but rather than seeking to change or “improve you”, we work to make your round edges even curvier, your sharp points even more articulate, and most of all, to ensure that no matter what comes your way, your STAND stays towering and tall.

I would love to have you join us.

Beauty’s where you find it,
k swirl signature

 

Photo Source: Classy and Style, HB Mag and History In Pictures

 

 

 

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.