A BIG DIFFERENCE

Letting Go vs. Letting Yourself GoRecently I was speaking with a client who was at a breaking point with being extremely stressed out for a very long time.  When we explored the sensations in her body, she felt a clinging sensation, like she was holding on for dear life.

“There is a part of me that knows I need to soften, but I’m so afraid that if I do, it will all fall apart.”

Such wisdom in that statement.  And something we can all relate to.

As we talked it through more fully, we uncovered a belief that letting go was synonymous with letting herself go.

Whenever limiting beliefs such as these come up (beliefs that limit our growth as a method of protection), I look to nature to help us understand the truth.

In nature, I see letting go in the the river rock is shaped it into smooth, polished perfection by the water.

I see it in the forest when a tree falls, not to it’s death, but to a new life of becoming a home and a source of nourishment for other creatures.

I see the way autumn leaves fall to the ground and create fertile mulch for the coming of spring, leaving nothing to waste.

As we know, letting go is simply another form of letting God.

To see how this is playing out in your own life, I have an exercise for you.

1. Take a pen and a piece of paper and at the top of the page write at area of your life where you keep a firm grip of control, such as love, mothering, work, etc.

2. Underneath that category, make two columns.  On one side write “Letting Go” and on the other write “Letting Myself Go.”

3. Let yourself free write underneath each column on the difference between the two.

The answers may seem obvious, I can almost guarantee that by physically putting pen to paper and seeing it all in black and white, you will learn something new and surprising. (I sure did!)

I’ll drop my findings in the comments below this post so as not to ruin the surprise.  Please leave your findings there too, I’d love to compare notes.

Here’s to the gracefulness of letting go, the gracefulness of nature, and the gracefulness that is YOU.

All my love,

 

 

 

 

P.S. – I am now accepting applications for new coaching clients in 2019.  If you are interested in growing past your limiting beliefs (which are there for a reason, but don’t have to be) click here to fill out the application . A member of my team will be in touch to set up a conversation!

 

 

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

The Lacy Little Number that Changed Everything

 

I remember the first time I went shopping after I had just started learning about sensuality and pleasure.

Until that point, every time I would enter a store I’d bypass all the cute, sassy things at the front and I would beeline straight for the recesses of the women’s department, which was flush with apparel that would allow me to adequately hide my body. (Read: black pants, sweaters, t-shirts, etc.)

It was so automatic, I didn’t even realize I was doing it, until one day a lacy spaghetti strap number caught my eye.

“Why couldn’t you wear that?” a little voice in my head asked.

For the first time in 20+ years, I didn’t have an answer.

Suddenly, it was like the store had tripled in size. 


I looked around and saw mini-skirts, racy red dresses, curve hugging knit tops, and more.

My body hadn’t changed, nor had the selection of the store.

What changed was how I felt in my body.

With a newfound sense of power and reverence, I intuitively chose only things that made me feel beautiful, sensual, and adorned.

I left the store with several lacy new treasures in my bag, brimming with pride and excitement.

And I haven’t worn a single pair of black pants since! 


The way you feel about your body affects every area of your life.

Your relationships, your confidence, your libido, your creativity, your energy.

Love for our bodies is not something we can will ourselves to feel.

But what we can do, is treat our bodies with deep reverence and respect, which undeniably leads to feelings of love, appreciation and connection.

That’s why for one day only, my signature program Body Church is being offered at 50% off. 


I know how difficult it can be to stay connected to your body during the winter months.

That’s why when you enroll today you’ll receive:

• Embodied meditation audios to feel present and alive anytime, anywhere
• Guided, instructive, moving rituals
• A guided exercise to walk into any room with power and grace
• Sensual Sun and Moon Salutations
• A Sensory Salon exercise that will teach you to know your body like sommelier knows great wine
• A full video lesson of Body Worship, our core ritual, that will teach you how to regard every part of your body with reverence and delight
• 3 Exclusive Body Church Playlists: (bring on the hymns!) a total of 50 new songs
• 2 Dynamic Guest Teachers: Venus & The Art of Self Love with Astrologer Juli Everett, and Erotic Authority: A Tantric Path To Power  with certified Tantra Teacher Karen Fitzgerald

My sincere wish for you this holiday season, is that you feel the freedom to wear whatever your heart desires.

That you feel enough ease in your own skin to own the room at any holiday party.

That you wake up inspired to caress your body the way a loving mother caresses a baby who is just waking up.

And most of all, that you feel a sense of fall-on-your-knees, Oh Holy Night awe, every time you gaze at the curve of your calves, the creases on your palm, or a fallen eyelash on your cheek.

Amen,

 

 

 

P.S. – This sale ends at midnight tonight, don’t miss out!

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

My Most Advanced Spiritual Practice


I remember ten years ago, trying so hard to climb the corporate ladder that I literally couldn’t feel my legs at the end of the day.

I’d leave the office and they’d be completely numb.

When I got home from work the first thing I’d do is get in the shower and pinch them to try to regain some feeling.

But really, my legs were just a symptom.

They were a harbinger of a bigger pattern of numbness that was infiltrating my whole life.

I couldn’t figure out why my job, which gave me tons of validation, still left my soul feeling squashed at the end of the day.

I didn’t understand why my marriage, which felt full of love, distinctly lacked passion and enthusiasm.

I couldn’t understand why even though I had everything I thought I wanted, I constantly felt like I was aching for something more.

I had thought these things; job, marriage, etc., were going to make me happy.

But I came to realize that happy and comfortable are two very different things.

My life today could not be more different.

I have relationships that thrill and inspire me.

I have a business I love.

I have total freedom with my time. (no more numb legs at the end of the day.)

I trust my gut implicitly and am an obedient listener when it comes to my body’s cues.

That doesn’t mean things always feel good.

But it does mean that things consistently feel true.

And while that doesn’t translate to a permanent state of happiness, it is as close to permanent happiness as I desire to get.

Not numb anymore!

You might be wondering what the lighting bolt moment was that cause things to change. 


Well, the truth is, there wasn’t one. 


Because lightning bolts are not isolated events.They are just a product of many small, ordinary decisions to change. 


What can I tell you about those moments? 


Well, first off, in order to thaw the numbness I had to get out of the freezer. 


I had to look deeply and honestly at what wasn’t working, and be willing to let go of what was safe in order to have what was true. 


But there was something else…

Something very high level.

Really sophisticated, spiritual stuff.

Something called…

FUN.

Remember FUN??

It seems so…frivolous, even…pointless. I know.

But actually, fun can pack more healing power than a bottle of Vitamin C and a session on your shrink’s couch put together.

Do you remember the last time you laughed until you cried and used belly muscles you didn’t know existed?

Or the last time you plunged into a scoop of gelato and felt so much pleasure you almost forgot your own name?

Or the last time you winked at a stranger, even though it made you blush afterwards?

Can you feel your system getting a little more bubbly just reading about these things?

And when your system feels like that, do you notice that life doesn’t feel so heavy?

That being an adult doesn’t feel so draining?

And that solutions to your problems actually seem kind of…obvious?

This is because when you are having fun, your nervous system is relaxed.

And when your nervous system is relaxed, your brain is not distracted by the grip of fight/flight/freeze. Therefore new neural pathways can be created with greater ease.

It is well known that we store a great amount of emotion in our bodies.

If you’ve ever poured tears in a yoga pose or soaked the face cradle crying during a massage, you know what I’m talking about.

But the tissues ALSO store goodness, joy, glee, and happiness.

And just as negative experiences can leave a dysfunctional imprint on the body, POSITIVE experiences like mindfulness, pleasure, and embodiment can leave the permanent imprint of joy and fun. 


That is why in Club Macaron, we are dedicated to one thing and one thing only: being in your body in a way that feels alive, juicy, succulent, embodied, and most importantly – fun.

 

Stephanie, one of our beloved Club Macaron members put it perfectly:

“I joined Club Macaron because I want to remember to experience the day to day with my body and not just my mind.

I want to remember how much I love to be touched.

I want to remember the joy I feel when I buy myself fresh flowers.

I want to feel the luxuriousness of anointing myself with perfume.

I want to walk on the grass barefoot and revel in the exquisiteness of each blade.

Because I want to feel.

That is why…Club Macaron.”

Doors close for enrollment at midnight tonight.

Let’s get your GLOW back!


P.S. – Have questions? Check out our FAQs. 


P.P.S. – Enrollment closes tonight at midnight. Let’s do this lady!

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

A Special Guest Teacher (That Also Barks)

Hello Friends!
 
Today I have an exciting invitation to share with you! But first, I want to introduce you to a special guest teacher: my dog, Winnie.

 

 
Winnie is a mix of dachshund and chihuahua, two breeds which unto themselves are quite territorial, but when mixed together add up to one protective pooch. When Winnie hears a car pull into our driveway, her nervous system senses a threat may be nearby, and tells her she should bark. LOUDLY.
 
As Shakespeare once said, “Though she be little, she is fierce.”

 
Before the barking begins however, there are two steps her body must go through.

 
First, her ears perk up and her senses sharpen. The sensory stimuli of tires on gravel sends a message to her brain that there could be potential danger.
 
Then, she does something really interesting. 

 
Her little eyes look over towards me – me being a member of her pack. In a split second she gauges my reaction to get a sense of whether or not that sounds does indeed indicate a threat. 

 
If I seem perturbed or excited, she’ll sound off the Bark Alarm. But if I seem unbothered, she’ll usually keep it down to a low growl. 

 
This demonstrates a body wisdom that goes back eons: 

When we need to feel safe, we look to those around us for reassurance. 

 
And just like Winnie, your nervous system benefits by looking to those around you for inspiration, reassurance, and cues to keep going. 

 
And that’s exactly why I’d like to extend a special invitation your way.
 
For just one week, I am opening the doors to my membership program Club Macaron.

 

Club Macaron is a place where zesty babes like you and me gather to study the arts of sensuality, spirituality and style.
It is a community where we elevate your mind by first tending to the needs of your body.
 
It is a place where you get to practice slowing down to speak from the heart.
 
Where we honor beauty as an essential nutrient to your feminine soul.

 
And where abundance is not measured by how much you can get, but by how deeply you can savor what you have.
At this point you might be asking yourself, why name a club like this after a cookie?
 
Well, in my blogs and emails you may have noticed that my objective is not just to educate you. It is also to entertain you.
 
While human beings learn in many different ways, it has been proven over and over again that the most effective way for a person to learn is through the simple art of PLAY. 

 
When you are in a state of play, your nervous system is relaxed, your senses are engaged, and your mind is receptive to new information.
 
Think back to high school and how challenging it was to memorize something like the periodic table, in contrast to how easy it was to memorize the lyrics to your favorite pop song.
 
Fun always wins when it comes to learning something new, or changing a pattern in your life.
 
That’s why in Club Macaron, we make personal growth feel like tea and truffles.

 
You’ll learn how to shift your mindset while sashaying your hips.
 
You’ll learn how to meditate peacefully, and master wing tip eyeliner.
Club Macaron is a place where you can open your mind, enjoy your body, and celebrate the sensual as a devotional path.

 
So to answer your question…macarons are sweet, playful, elegant, delicious and FUN. Why wouldn’t I name a club after them?! 🙂
 
It is my honor and my pleasure to extend this exclusive invitation to you.

Click here to learn more and become a member today!

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

Confidence: Beyond The Bells & Whistles

Beloveds,

Recently I was preparing for a big event and needed to pick up a new pair of shoes. I had a specific budget for this purchase. I went to the store, chose a pair, and walked out having met my need for new shoes without compromising the needs of my bank account.

God damn it felt good.

In the past, setting a budget conjured up tremendous fear that would inevitably lead to self sabotage. Years ago I remember heading out to pick up a pair of $10 earrings studs before an important speaking event, and leaving the store with a $400 Labradorite necklace that “just spoke to me.”

In that moment, the urge to buy the necklace felt like my intuition talking. And maybe it was. But when I look back with the wisdom of hindsight, I see that what I was really trying to do was manage fear.

My mind saw that necklace as something I could control in a situation that felt very much out of my control. “I can’t be scared onstage if I’m wearing a necklace like this,” my subconscious reassured me.

It reminds me of the powerful quote from Carl Jung:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will control your life, and you will call it fate.”

As I grow and evolve I find that I need less and less “things” to feel confident.

My confidence comes from a quiet trust in who I am. How I look is just the icing on the cake.

May this be a reminder that you too, are more than your bells and whistles.

More than your adornments and accoutrements.

And that like the best things in life, the best parts of YOU, are actually…free.

Love and Labradorite,

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image by Charisse Kenion via Unsplash

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

Stepping Away to Get Closer


Cacao nibs,

Recently I was working on a project and my creativity felt like a jeep with it’s tires stuck in the mud.

No matter how many quality ideas surfaced, the mantra “what a dumb idea! what a dumb idea! what a dumb idea!” echoed through my head like a demented wind-up clown.

I called a friend for support. She calmly replied, “I think the best thing you can do in this situation is just be really kind to yourself.”

Ahhhh…deep exhale.

After hearing that prompt, my inner voice came through clear as a bell.

“Stop trying, Kitty. Today is just not the day. Working harder will only dig this hole deeper. Put the project down and step away.”

It’s common to get swept up in the fever of perpetual harvest.

But any artist will tell you that after days and days of working on the same painting, the art will actually suffer if you don’t take time away to freshen your perspective.

When you seek to live life as art, you’ve got to live it on art’s own terms. (click to tweet)

My friend Rochelle Schieck recently shared that lions in the wild will sleep 15 to 20 hours a day, and that rather than the expression “I’m a lion, hear me roar” it’s really more like, “I’m a lion, hear me snore!”

When it comes to creative energy, I find it to be more of a current than a well. When the current flows, it flows. When it’s not flowing, I know that my job is not to tell it to hurry up. My job is simply to remove whatever is blocking the flow, and do my best to patient as I wait for the river to rise again.

How do you flow with the wax and wane of your creative genius? Let’s compare notes in the comments.

Love,

 

 

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

Sassy Art & Sexy Cheeses: A Summer’s End Swoon!

Happy Summer’s End Sweeties,

Here in the mountains we are having the first  “I better bring a sweater” nights of the season, cooling us off and calming us down.  As summer burns her final blazes, enjoy this August edition of Swoon!

With sassy art, sexy tips, secret weapons and soothing books, it’s bound to delight you from top to tail. Enjoy!


Beauty and zen meet in these silky, smooshy, stylish meditation pillows.

Boobs, BOOBS, and boobs and more bOObs!  What a perfect petit print!

Wear high heels up to 4x longer with these secret insoles…thank you Vivian Lou!

You guys…secret freakin’ weapon.  Grandma’s spot remover will get ANYTHING out of your clothes.  Literally anything.  I can’t recommend it highly enough!

My FAVORITE collage artist is now selling prints of her amazing work! Run don’t walk to @emilycutspaper!

Lately I am getting such a kick out of @odedeparfum.  If you like a little snark with your scent, as I do, you’ll be in heaven!

Want to learn how to assemble a cheese board like a grown up? Not just any grown up, a French grown up? Sharon Santoni will show you how with grace and elegance!

As I prepare for the 2018 Tuscany Retreat in just a few weeks, I love languorously paging through this full color love letter to Italian women and the art of keeping house, Limoncello and Linen Water.

Would you like a pair of rose gold eyelashes winking at you when you make your bed in the morning? Et Voila! 


P.S. – SHARING IS SEXY

Click here to share this post on Facebook or Twitter!

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

Insiders Travel Guide: Asheville, NC

Peppermint Sticks,

It’s been almost three years since I left New York City and moved to “The Paris of the South”, a.k.a. Asheville, North Carolina.  (Note: I don’t think the person who invented that term has ever been to Paris.  But anyway.)

It’s been quite the culture shock to go from Friday nights dancing at The Roxy to Friday night Barn Dances in Fairview! Living here I have gained amazing friends, beautiful adventures, and wonderful lessons in the art of simplicité.

My favorite way to get to know a place is through shopping, cafes, dance/yoga classes and great food, which is why you won’t see anything too touristy on this list (like the Lazoom tour or the Biltmore, though I do recommend checking those out too.)

If you’re ever passing through this charming little gem of a town, here are some of my favorite spots to check out:

Summit Coffee House

Coffee Shops

Liberty House Coffee

Try the Mountain Fog latte: lavender, honey, almond milk and earl gray.  Heaven! And the breakfast tacos.  Delish.

High Five Coffee

A great place to work, snuggle up with a book, people watch, or just relax with a delicious, creative baristas choice.

Trade and Lore

A sweet, romantic little gem right in the heart of the city.

Dobra Tea

Slip off your shoes in their moroccan style lounge and page through a robust menu with over 200 varieties of tea.  The roobois bubble tea is my favorite!

OWL Bakery

Mon Dieu! This sweet, charming patisserie has the best croissants on planet earth. Seriously. I’ve never tasted pastries like the ones they make here. Bring a book, a newspaper, a friend or a journal; relax and luxuriate.

Sovereign Remedies

Drinks

The Times at S&W

Chandeliers, velvet couches and craft cocktails you say? Sign me up!

Sovereign Remedies

The epitome of charm, this atmospheric delight is the perfect spot for a late afternoon bite and bevvie. (it does get quite crowded at night and on the weekends.)

The Bywater

A rustic little wonder right along the river. Grab a cocktail and head down to the riverside to enjoy the view. In the evenings there is usually live music (often bluegrass) under strings of twinkle lights.

Little Jumbo

Delicious cocktails, milk glass pendant lights and friendly service. Who could ask for more?

Battery Park Book Exchange

Oh, the whimsy! Vintage books, red leather couches, a delicious wine and champagne selection, charcuterie for days.  And you can bring your (well behaved) dog! This place is charm on wheels.

Desirant

Shopping

Desirant

Ok y’all. This is not only my favorite store in Asheville, it is one of my favorite stores in the WORLD. Glamour, simplicity, elegance, stunning design – Desirant has it all. A must see!

Minx

Sassy and classy, distinctive clothes and accessories.  A true gem.

Cornerstone Minerals

A beautiful collection of gems and crystals, with a friendly, knowledgeable staff.

The Herbiary

A sweet little treasure that offers handmade tinctures and herbs, as well as a beautiful display of bath and body products.

Gaea

Itching for a new deck of oracle cards and more incense than you can shake a stick at? This new age emporium awaits.

Malaprops

God save the independent bookseller! Malaprops has a dazzling array of thought provoking books, as well as a corner of staff favorites wrapped in brown paper.  The title and author is hidden, and on the wrappings you’ll find adjectives like like “romantic” or “spine tingling.”

Posana

Restaurants

Bull & Beggar

Heavenly food and gorgeous atmosphere. (Needs a reservation.)

Haywood Common

Farm to table YUM!

Plant

All vegan but you’d never know. Chic and delicious for you plant based babes.

Smoky Park Supper Club

This is where I bring all my guests passing through town. The food, atmosphere and service are all a delight!

Posana

Delicious, luxurious, and gluten free! Will not disappoint.

Rhubarb

More farm to table, local loveliness.  One word: burrata.

Cúrate

Tapas that are each works of art. Probably the most popular restaurant in town, if you can get in, you will not regret it!

French Broad Chocolates

Dessert

The French Broad Chocolate Lounge

A long line but worth the wait.  Liquid truffles, amazing gelato, heavenly hot chocolate!

Old Europe

Divine coffee, divine pastries, divine macarons!

WHY DON’T YOU…

Go for a Hike
There are dozens of gorgeous trails in and around Asheville. Check out www.ashevilletrails.com for a full listing.

Go to the Movies
The Grail and Fine Arts Theatre have a dazzling array of independent films every night of the week.

Go see Live Music
Live music abounds in Asheville. The Grey Eagle, 5 Walnut, The Orange Peel and The Isis  are all great places to start.

Go to a Yoga Class
Asheville has some of the best yoga classes I’ve ever experienced. Check out Asheville Yoga Center (Lyndsey Azlynne’s restorative classes, Bhakti with Micheal Johnson, Maeve Hendrix and Joe Taft are my personal faves). Asheville Community Yoga is also world class studio with by donation classes (Lauren and Wendy are my favorite teachers!). Violet Owl Wellness also has an awesome gift shop, and is now offering a weekly Qoya class!

Go to the Spa
Shoji Mountain Lodge is GORGEOUS and a wonderful way to spend a relaxing afternoon in the mountains. With amazing massages and private hot tubs, it’s a true treat!

Take a hip hop fitness class
With the queen of confidence, body love and belly dance herself, Miss Lisa Zahiya!

Get an Astrology Reading
Virginia Rosenberg does readings every Sunday at Earth Magick in town, and she also sees private clients. She is BRILLIANT. Highly recommend.

See beautiful Art
Beautiful art abounds in studio after studio in the delightful River Arts District.

Love,

 

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

Trust Beauty

Beach Plums,

Do you ever go to the grocery store, and when you get to the check out you think “Dammit! I forgot my reusable bags, AGAIN!”

I do. Every. Time. I Shop.

Recently when I was at the checkout, I noticed a display of beautiful, handwoven baskets that caused me to teem with desire.

“$30 is alot when reusable bags are only $1.99, or free,” I thought.

Then I remembered the LOADS of reusable bags I’ve purchased that just sit in the backseat of my car collecting dust.

“Maybe if I had a thing of beauty hanging off my forearm, and the pleasure of placing my produce in a gorgeous basket, I’d actually remember to bring it in the store.”

Girls, this is where the ego actually really comes in handy.

My desire for beauty, style, and looking/feeling good knows no bounds. I know that STYLE is an ultimate motivator for me. If I had a beautiful basket, I would be a thousand times more likely to use the basket than I would the traditional grocery bags.

Hell, I’d even walk back to the car to get it if I forgot!

So I bought the beautiful basket. And I am SO….HAPPY!

I use my basket for everything – trips to the bookstore, the supermarket, going to yoga, I brought my basket to the spa  and filled it with snacks, a water bottle, my book and my journal. It has become a true companion; my little bundle of wonder.

This $30 purchase has saved many a plastic bag, AND brought so much joy and luxury into my life.

May this be a reminder to always trust beauty…trust beauty…trust beauty.

All my love,

 

 

 

 

P.S. – the basket on my arm is by African Market Baskets, a fair trade company that imports directly from artisans in Africa. They are so beautiful and durable. Use the store locator to check ’em out!

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

A $4K lesson on putting yourself back together

 

I once had a friend who was a photographer at a famous NYC auction house.  His job was to photograph very expensive antiques, jewels and art for display in the auction catalogue. Handling these items, you can imagine how careful you’d have to be.

One day, while carrying a $4,000 antique dinner plate from one display table to another, his hand slipped and the plate dropped straight to the floor.

That’s a $4,000 whoopsie.

The company did not dock his pay, nor did they just sweep it into the bin. What they did is carefully bring every fragment of the plate down to the special restorations department. These artisans painstakingly took each tiny fragment and put it back together so perfectly you would never know the plate had been broken.

I can’t help but see the metaphor here, in how we put ourselves back together after a fall.

Yes, there are the big sweeping moments like our life altering choices, taking big risks, venturing out on a wing and prayer; these are like the big pieces of the plate.

But then there are the tiny fragments. The daily grind of things like making the bed even when you’re depressed, calling your senator even when you’re discouraged, not texting that certain someone who treats you poorly, even when you are aching with loneliness.

It reminds me of the time at my friend Rochelle’s wedding when she kicked off the weekend by saying, “Thank you all so much for being here for this important moment. But even more so, thank you for every single moment that led up to this one.”

Here’s to the ALL your pieces, great and small.

Much Love,

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.