An Act Of Inward Romance

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Recently a friend asked me the question “So Kitty, what do you do for play?

If you ever want to stress a fully grown adult out entirely, ask them that question.

I lead a very pleasure based life, but actual, active playing? Like, the kind I did when I was a kid? I know I’m not alone in feeling like I’m a bit rusty on that front.

This awareness came startlingly to light recently as a result of an experiment I’ve been doing for the past two months.

Every night, not long after the sun sets, I turn off all my electronics and literally unplug. No checking, no cheating until the next morning.

It’s a detox, and just like any other kind of detox there are times where I feel sheer, almost hallucinogenic bliss. Other times, it feels like a baboon with rabies has just been unleashed inside my mind.

During a recent, highly baboon-ish kind of evening with 4-5 hours of unoccupied time stretched out wide before me, I looked over at my dog Winnie and said, “What the hell do we do now???”

I remembered my friend’s question about play.  I decided, ruefully, to surrender and become one of those people who colors in coloring books at night for fun. (Cringes lovingly)

I turned on Diana Krall and lit every candle in my living room. I carefully chose a color scheme from my collection of colored pencils and I made a go of it. 

It was surprisingly calming, very soothing, and quite sweet.  

After I finished coloring the page I flipped it over and wrote a good old fashioned letter to my best friend in California.  We hadn’t connected in awhile, so I wrote about what’s new in my life, what books are on my nightstand, the fact that I had just spontaneously retold Winnie her adoption story, and when I did she rolled onto back like a baby sea otter and wagged her tail. 

All of these precious details would most likely have gotten lost in a phone call or a Facetime, but in the space of spontaneous play, they tumbled out like fat rolls of pink velvet ribbon.

I decorated the envelope with heart shaped stickers that exclaimed “Bonjour!” and “Je T’aime!”, with a Miles Davis postage stamp trumpeting across the top right corner.  

It was all so utterly romantic.

It was an act of inward romance.

Romance can bring so much to our lives, but when solely dependent on another person for it’s delivery, it is almost always set up for disappointment. 

Inward romance is an act of cozying up to the present moment, and giving it a warm, sweet embrace through the senses. (tweet this!)

What I’d really like to know from you in the comments is: (brace yourself) What does play feel like for you, and what’s your favorite way to do it?

Meet me in the Chucky Cheese Ball Pit,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

 

 

 

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Make Space For Grace

Do you remember when you first learned how to pray?

As a little kid I prayed because I thought it would make me a good girl. As a rebellious teenager I wouldn’t be caught dead praying in public, but at night I would talk to God when no one was looking.

As a young adult I did alot of “Santa Claus” praying – stating grand desires and setting specific time frames in which they should manifest. I’d do abundance rituals, love rituals, rituals to find my dream job, etc.

All of it seemed spiritual on the outside, but when I take an honest look my true intention was: “God please bring me money, love and clarity on my purpose so I can become rich and famous and have great sex within 30 days or less, ok?”

Today, I talk to the Divine as a trusted friend, rather than an authority figure I’m trying to impress. I also don’t pray for specific things anymore, instead I say a simple, powerful prayer in the morning that goes like this:

Please show me, and make me willing to look.

Please speak to me, and make me willing to listen.

Please guide me, and make me willing to act.

Then I sit for about ten minutes (or sometimes ten breaths), and in those silent moments, I make space for grace.

Grace is what floods in when I suddenly, intuitively know how to handle a problem that all the effort in the world couldn’t seem to fix.

I could read every book, go to every course and talk to every counselor, but grace? Grace is FREE Y’ALL!

What grace demands is not effort, but wide open space. (tweet this)

quote. grace demands not effort

If I sit on my hands, get out of my own way, and (lovingly) put a sock in it, grace slowly appears like Charlotte the spider, quietly weaving her web in the moonlight.

How do you define grace, practice it, and make space for it? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

With grace and love,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

 

 

P.S. – I’ve just added two more free coaching spots as a bonus for enrolling in Sacred Seduction® Live in NYC. If you sign up today that spot is yours!

 

 

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Whatever your flaws are, Flaunt Them

 

Angel Wings,

I just got back from a magical week in Tulum, Mexico teaching Sacred Seduction® and Qoya at the Astrotwins Astrology retreat.  When I got there, the very first thing I did was rip off what I was wearing and run toward those crystal blue Caribbean waters like my hair was on fire.

Swimming and frolicking naked on the beach makes me feel like a wee bebe at an amniotic pool party!  But, it was not always this way. 

There was a time I would rather have SET my hair on fire rather than show my bare skin on the beach.

In fact, it was not long ago that I couldn’t even wear short sleeves in the summer time, I felt so much anxiety about my body. Like the scene in the movie Bridesmaids where she is sick and dripping buckets of sweat but trying to pretend she’s fine, that was me on a 90 degree day in my summer cardigan!

I’m very grateful to Jo Weldon who at my first burlesque lesson shared these words: “Whatever your flaws are, flaunt them.”

That day I made a promise to follow the trail of glittered bread crumbs towards loving and flaunting my feminine form, wherever it may lead. It led to some seriously wild and uncomfortable places! But it was always leaping (or sometimes hobbling) beyond my comfort zone that truly made the medicine.

As Naomi Wolf once said “A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience.”

Here’s to honoring Eve, opening wide to that shiny apple, and taking a big fat bite. 

CHOMP,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

 

 

P.S. – next year’s retreat is already open and filling up fast! I will be there teaching Qoya and Sacred Seduction for my fourth year in a row, it is that irresistible.  I’d love to see you there, April 28-May 4th 2018!

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Mermaids, Lovers & Gypsy Caravans: The May Edition of Swoon!

swoon july

Welcome to a new month of Swoonables! Swoon is a monthly feature where I share all things that are currently tickling me PINK.  This month’s list is particularly luscious and robust, if I do say. Enjoy!


 

Mermaids, Lovers & Gypsy Caravans 2

Get a feather to fan yourself after visiting the Bellocq website.  The descriptions of their tea blends are so romantic, sensual and lush I swear I would buy an audiobook just of the descriptions alone.  Charleston is one of my personal favorites.

Is Mercury in Retrograde? Find out instantly here.

When someone tells you to “feel your feelings”, it’s easy to understand the “why”,  but more challenging is the “how”.  Check out this sweet guide on “Ways To Feel Your Feelings” by Sarah Starrs.

Mermaids, Lovers & Gypsy Caravans 1

A meditation pillow that is plush, lush, and sexy? Yes please!

A heroine and true femme fatale in every sense of the word, I know you’ll enjoy  this rich article about legendary Sacred Seductress Charlotte Gray.

Finally, after a year of living in Asheville, North Carolina, I’ve decided to do two live workshops here in my new hometown.  Sacred Seduction 101  and Qoya: Dancing the Love of The Great Mother are both coming up in May.  If you’re in Asheville or close by, I’d love to see you!

Mermaids, Lovers & Gypsy Caravans

I. am. in. LOVE with these modern, elegant goddess statues. Perfectly sized for an altar, understated and glamorous, these are gorgeous pieces of goddess art to call your own.

“How to cook like the French when you’re allergic to bread and butter.” A wonderful article and list of recipes by darling friend and blogger Elle Griffin.

Lacey Hanes is shaking up the world of childbirth with her unabashed, hilarious, vulnerable Instagram posts and stories.  Lacey chose to free birth with her daughter Fox, and the world has lots to say about it! What I love about Lacey is that she shares her truth in the most hilarious way (i.e. coining the phrase “Fanny Fart Fridays”).  I love her light, follow her!

Mermaids, Lovers & Gypsy Caravans 3

Stay dry AND study the stars with this cheeky constellation umbrella!

If you feel you were a mermaid in a past life, do not miss out on Olivine’s new body spray and gift set “Once A Mermaid.” It comes with Palo Santo and a gorgeous crystal to connect to your intuition.  What a gorgeous gift for your loved ones or yourself!

An unending source of inspiration, The Red List has complied their list of great lovers.  With passion and whimsy it details a beautiful history of great seductions.   Pour a cup of Gypsy Caravan tea and snuggle up!

 

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What Spring Teaches Us About The Soul

SEASONS OF THE SOUL

As spring gives way to early summer, it becomes easier and easier to see the parallels that exist between seasons of the earth and seasons in ourselves.

Recently while hiking high in the mountains, I noticed beneath the dead leaves and dry branches a small, sweet spray of wildflowers, silently singing their song of tender beauty.

They each had tiny, fragile little buds. All rich with color, and radiant with loveliness.

We know that our bodies reflect the rhythm of the seasons, but these flowers showed me how true that is also of the soul. When the soul is tender, moments of ease, trust, safety and peace can feel as rare and vulnerable as a budding spring wildflower.

Small. Delicate. Easily stepped on, easily unnoticed.

As time grows, these flowers will grow. Summer will come. Their stalks will strengthen and their blooms will brighten. Much like those times where feelings of trust, ease and safety are in such abundance we take them for granted, we become so accustomed to the beauty of the flower’s bloom we forget they are even there.

There are times where these flowers, and these feelings, will literally die on the vine, and all we can do is watch. How powerless we are to stop the blaze of glory that is their beautiful demise.

When winter comes, it can seem like the flowers never even really existed in the first place. Like they were just a dream, a ghost or a fantasy.

But they are always there, even when they are not. Deep within the frozen earth, their seeds, those tiny pods of pure potential reign eternal.

Like the earth, these seasons of the soul are not singular. We get more than one bud at a time. Some may be in summer, some may be dead and crunchy underfoot.

While we can’t control how fast they bloom, with nurturance, protection, and trust, we can make space for their roots to grip, and their blossoms to rise.

There is a certain prayer I love: ”God, I have only to look to nature to see proof of the abundance you provide.”

May we all rest easy in the harmony of the seasons, and in truth that everything is changing, always. And that that change is ultimately what we are all here for in the end.

Over to you mi amor – How do you notice these changes happening in your own life, physically, emotionally and spiritually? Do tell in the comments. I’d love to hear how you are weathering the seasons in style.

Here’s to a wild, naked spring,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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A Translation Tool For Your Inner Voice

A TRANSLATION TOOL FOR YOUR INNER VOICE

When a woman begins to listen to her intuition, a very common question that arises is:

How do I know it’s my intuition that’s doing the talking? What if it’s just my impulses, or my fear?”

Today I want to offer you a very simple tool that will help translate the messages of your inner voice. It involves listening for three things:

1. Tone

2. Pitch

3. Speed

When you think of a person who is fear, what does their voice sound like? Very loud, very fast, and very frantic.

A person who is impulsive, again: quite loud, fast, and frantic.

A person who is cynical and un-trusting? Loud, mocking and critical.

But what about a person who is grounded, at ease, and in control?

That voice is usually slow and even. It’s much more quiet that the others, it seems to come from a deeper place. It is the voice that comes from the calm, slow waters deep in the ocean, rather than the frothy chaos on the surface.

Ready to test it out?

For a front row seat to this Broadway show, all you have to do is to close your eyes and meditate. The reason many people don’t meditate is because they feel they can’t seem to “quiet their minds.”

But this time, rather than telling your mind to shut up, I suggest that you listen.

Listen not so much to what your mind has to say, but to the tone, speed and pitch in which it is speaking.

Once you can decipher who is holding the microphone in your mind at any given moment, you will begin to learn which voice to trust.

Close your eyes and do this exercise for one minute right now. What do you notice? I’d love to hear from you in a comment.

Om and Ciao,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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100 Songs To Slow You Down (Free Playlist)

100 Songs To Slow You Down (Playlist)

Dear Sugar Blossoms,

A few weeks ago I hosted a party, and while happily chopping onions in the kitchen I got a text from my friend Jaime. “Even though I can’t be there tonight I left a little something on the porch to be there in spirit.”

I went to my front porch and there waiting for me was the most gorgeous bouquet of pink tiger lilies. It was a secret admirer fantasy come true!

It would have been very easy to exclaim, “how nice!”, then throw the flowers in a vase and go back to chopping onions feverishly, letting the experience just skim the surface of my consciousness like a rock skipping over a lake.

But instead I scooped them up in my arms and I drank the moment in. I savored their beauty and felt my heart explode with gratitude. I was fully present to this special moment of love and friendship.

I took that rock of consciousness and followed its full journey across the lake, all the way down to the sandy floor.

There is nothing more sweet than being truly AWAKE during an experience of pleasure, tenderness, and beauty. 

But with so many more “legitimate” tasks that steal our attention, it’s easy put pleasure off until we think we’ve really earned it.

And yet, the very thing we work so hard for has been sitting there the whole time, like a pink tiger lily right under one’s nose.

It takes great bravery to go slow. It also takes great music.

That’s why I’ve created a special playlist of 100 Songs To Slow You Down, that you can listen to at work, at play, or while chopping onions for a party.

And if slowing down is something you’d like even more support with, come to my free Q and A on Thursday at 2pm EST. 

We’ll snuggle up in front of my fireplace, and I will share with you the key tools to slowing down that I use personally  that I only share with my private clients.

We are going get to the root what keeps you from slowing down, address the areas where energy is leaking from your life, and take your power BACK.

SLOW DOWN BLOGIMAGE

If you can’t be there live you can sign-up anyway, and the playback will be made available for a limited time.

JOIN NOW BUTTON

I can’t wait to talk to you then!

All my love,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

Image By Willy Nilly Lily

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FREE Q & A ON SLOWING DOWN

Treasures,

Do you ever wish you could slow things down, but despite your best efforts, can’t ever seem to make it happen?

When it comes to slowing down, it’s not that we don’t know how to do it. If anything, we know way too much.

We know very well how to draw a bubble bath, how to make a fragrant cup of tea, how to sit outside in the sunshine.

Slowing down is not the problem.

The problem is that when we do it, we have to face the whiplash that comes from going 80 mph to going 10 mph, and all the things that come up as a result. For example:

  • Sitting in the bathtub for half an hour may sound relaxing, but it also means having to listen to your racing thoughts. Alongside that comes acknowledging that as hard as you try, you just can’t seem to quiet your mind and seem to slow them down. And that frustrates you.
  • Sitting outside in the sunshine sounds good, but it would mean pressing pause on your kids, your parents, your spouse and/or your work. Not only would those things crumble without your care, secretly, you would crumble if for one second you thought they didn’t need you to survive. Catering to their every need makes you feel powerful. Depleted, burnt out and resentful, yes. But powerful.
  • Making a cup tea sounds nice, but it means that you would probably have to pay attention to that nagging feeling in your gut telling you that something doesn’t feel quite right in your relationship, or your job, or some other aspect of your life, and since you don’t know how to fix it, you just don’t want to face it.

So we stay busy, we keep working, we keep serving; all the time wondering when we are going to finally be able to relax, savor, and enjoy life. But as you can see.

To slow down in life, it’s not more TIME we need, it’s more COURAGE.

Courage to listen to what the racing thoughts, feeling in your gut, and the need to people please are really trying to say.

It’s listening to and acting upon those messages that truly cuts your energy and your power loose. (The bubble baths are really just the icing on the cake.)

On Thursday, April 13th I am hosting a free, live-video Q & A call to address your personal blocks on slowing down. 

In this hour we are going get to the root what keeps you from slowing down, address the areas where energy is leaking from your life, and take your power BACK.

You can even submit your questions anonymously and I will answer them live on the call.

 SIGN UP FOR THE FREE CALL HERE:

Also,  parties are always more fun when you invite your GIRLFRIENDS!

To share this powerful class with your tribe, just copy/paste the link www.kittycavalier.com/freecall, or click here to share on Facebook.

See you on the 13th!

 

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Where Do I Even Start? (Creativity Overwhelm)

CREATIVITY OVERWHELM


Do you ever feel so overwhelmed by your wild, creative dreams that you don’t even know where to start?

Being the first week of Spring, this question is particularly auspicious.

To know where to begin, we first have to understand the fundamental differences between creation and production.

Production means “to bring forth.”

An example of production would be to take the pieces of a refrigerator out of a box, follow a manual, and assemble or “bring forth” said refrigerator.

Creation on the other hand, is different.

Creation means “to form out of nothing.”

In contrast, creation would not be the assembly of a refrigerator, it would be inventing refrigeration.

A much different game indeed.

Creation doesn’t tell us when we’ll finish, or where.

Creation doesn’t tell us what it will look like in the end, or if we will even arrive at an end at all.

To get in on the game of creation, we have to stop playing by production’s rules. (click to tweet!)

For example, when a woman is pregnant, she doesn’t say to her friends “I’m sorry, I can’t go to the movies tonight, I have to go home and make my baby’s toenails.”

She’s not assembling the baby inside of her. She’s CREATING it.

With every throb of her heart and every breath of her lungs, she lives the steady mantra of “grow, grow, grow.”

And so it is with every other thing we are “forming out of nothing.” Careers, relationships, art, life. We breathe, we pray, we grow…grow…grow.

Years ago I asked my friend Rochelle Schieck, creator of Qoya, how she took the seed of an idea for a new kind of movement class, and nurtured it into full blown tree that now shelters and feeds thousands of women on the journey back to their bodies.

“Just start” she replied.

Just start.

As in, rather than focusing on what will get you to your destination the fastest, just start walking.

Or rather than focusing on what the title of your book should be, just start writing it.

JUST. START.

When I first started my business I taught seduction classes under fluorescent lighting out of dance studios that smelled like gym socks. (I did my best with my candles and rose petals, but come on.)

My dream was to someday be teaching my classes inside a 17th century Tuscan villa. Today that dream is my reality.

I had no idea how that dream was going to happen. The only thing I knew for sure was that it was NEVER going to happen unless I was willing to just start.

So today, in honor of the little seeds that are courageously splitting wide open under the dark, frozen soil with absolutely no idea where they will end up, may we all be so brave. May we all “just start.”

SPOTLIGHT OVER TO YOU:

In what areas of your life are you currently leaping with no guarantee of a net, but a deep trust that if you just start, your actions will weave the net for you? I’d love to hear about them in the comments.

I love you snowdrop,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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Cutting The Ribbon On Something Brand New

Dearest Turtle Doves,

As promised, today is the day I cut the ribbon and draw back the curtain on a secret project I’ve been working on for months.

But first, I want to ask you a few questions:

  • How much more energy would you have if you never had to put on a mask?
  • How much more genuine fun would you have if you never laughed at things that aren’t funny?
  • What if the purpose of life isn’t to be happy all the time, but it is simply to be honest?

Vérité is the French word for Truth, but Vérité has a much deeper meaning than just it’s literal definition.

Vérité is a radiance, a presence, and a confidence.

Vérité is the ability to be fully in the present moment and not run away.

Vérité is the glow that comes from taking the truth that lives inside of you, and proudly allowing it to exist on the outside.

Click here and let me be the first to welcome you to Vérité

VERITE NOUN ROSE IMAGE

 

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