One of the questions I am most frequently asked by my clients is: “How can I make my life more of a seduction? One where I wake up and everything has a magic to it, rather than just the droll of my to-do list and every day tasks?”
It’s a great question, an eternal question. One that’s been around since before we learned how to chop wood and carry water. The thing is, a life of seduction is not about waking up to bon-bons and bunny slippers any more than it is putting on a suit to work a 16 hour day. Either of those things would bore you to tears in time.
Seduction is both yin and yang, masculine and feminine, the heat of the fire and the structure that contains it. So rather than reaching for extremes, we follow the golden rule of creating a seductive life: we make art with what we have.
As an example, I’d like to tell you the story of how I moved out of New York City this winter, and onto a new adventure of living in the South:
The month of February 2015 was like one long going away party.
I remember being showered with fragranced rose petals as a circle of soul sisters whispered the words “farewell Kitty” in a magical ritual.
I remember tracing my fingertips across every square inch of the walls of my empty apartment whispering “thank you, thank you, thank you”.
I nuzzled my nose into the neck of a man who smelled like cedar and looked like James Dean, moving slowly across a dance floor while a hot jazz band crooned out St. James Infirmary.
I drank gallons of rose petal tea with my roxy-star assistant, laughing uproariously to the sound of Jack White’s guitar mixed with the screech of packing tape stretching across box after box.
I remember the street grate steam that once felt like a nuisance, now becoming my swirling good-bye kiss. The hustle and bustle that had grown to drive me crazy over the last few years, I now realized was just the city doing what it does best: showing me tough love like a parent shows a child, knowing all along that I was capable of so much more than I thought, and taking me to task.
I gave myself permission to buy a pack of Parliaments and lean out my kitchen window like a teenager, blowing smoke into the freezing cold air. (Sue me.)
Lot’s of people bought me drinks. Lot’s of people bought me tea. Lot’s of people bought me dinners.
Lot’s of angels came out of the woodwork to give me that one last hug.
The day of my move, as the seconds counted down to my 3pm departure, my dear friends Lauren, Fabiola, Vivi and Stephanie descended on my home like Flora, Fauna and Meriwether. Suddenly, all the last minute stressors like sweeping dust bunnies, disposing of the last haul of throw-aways, what to do with the god damn effing cable box, etc. were taken out of my hands like a screaming baby, happy to now be in the arms of doting Aunties.
Once all that was done, we had one long, luxurious hour to savor each other, do a despacho gratitude ceremony and order a pizza. Fabiola opened the ceremony with this poem by Hafiz:
Did the rose
Ever open its heart
And give to this world
It felt the encouragement of light,
We all remain
I love this poem so much. If you ever want to see a seductive life in action, plant a rose bush and watch it grow. For it is this continual encouragement of the light against our being and our willingness to open to it’s embrace that gives us the wisdom, intelligence and inspiration to pick up the turnkey that turns the mundane into the magical: making art with what we have.
Now, your turn…
Tell me in the comments, how have you made art out of life recently? I read every one of your replies, because I need your stories just like you need mine. Seduction takes a village, and we are all in this together.
It’s the beauty that we’ll remember,
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