The Proudest Moment Of My Life

When my father passed away after a bicycle accident two years ago, we had 72 hours to spend with him before he passed.  He was unconscious for most of it.  People are often aghast when they hear the story of how suddenly it all happened, but actually, having those precious three days felt almost luxurious.  I believe his final act of kindness was staying alive so that we could take the time we needed to process and say goodbye.

In that somber and swollen moment just after his spirit had left his body, it naturally felt like some sort of prayer was in order, however I don’t really pray with words.  I find them cumbersome and complicating in moments such as these. Personally, I pray with beauty.

I took a yellow rose I had brought from home and peeled off the petals one by one. I created a makeshift basket out of tri-fold hospital paper towels and walked around his bed, adorning his body.  Each petal was a prayer of love, a tangible tribute to his physical form.

I then took an essential oil blend called “release”, and I anointed his forehead, followed by the bottoms his feet, symbolizing my prayer for him to have a smooth transition, and letting him know he was free.

Beauty takes moments that could be riddled with and darkness, and miraculously, it lets in the light.  

Without beauty, this memory could have been a trauma in itself. But because of beauty, I will always remember my Dad’s body shining as beautifully as a bright yellow rose.

Beauty not only heals, it entices. For example, this week I got invited to two co-working dates.  One took place in a crowded, noisy coffee shop a few minutes from my house.  The other, hosted by my friend Marianne, was about a 30-minute drive through the mountains.  Marianne’s invitation however, featured homemade zucchini fritters followed by a visit to a nearby swimming hole where the water is so clear you can see straight to the bottom.

It was an easy choice to make.

Beauty can take a dull and ordinary workday, and transform it into something romantic, memorable, and extraordinary.

So the next time you feel the urge to put a wedge of lime in your water glass, light a candle next to your bedside, wear lipstick for no reason or take yourself out to a fancy dinner just because it’s Tuesday, please remember that these things are not frivolous, or silly, or a waste of time.

Indeed, beauty is what you were designed for. (click to tweet!)

BEAUTY IS WHAT YOU WERE DESIGNED FOR. QUOTE

Oh so Fondly,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

 

 

Image by Becca Kannapell

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

Sex With A Salmon

Stocksy_txpf64a131eB61100_Small_416031

Tonight, I had sex with a salmon.

I let it enter me, tease me, and seduce me all the way to the center of my guts.

I’m talking about my dinner of course.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the topic of entering, penetration, communion. 

Sometimes when I eat dinner I look mindlessly at my phone.  But when I think about it, if I was in bed being penetrated by a lover, I would never be checking social media.

So why should it be any different with my dinner?

I owe it to this salmon to wrap my lips around it. 

To open WIDE.

To let the oxygen fill my mouth, making this a glorious threesome.

To feel the reciprocity between my taste buds leaning forward, and the salmon diving headfirst towards my tongue, offering me ecstasy in the flesh, even in it’s death.

It reminds me of when I made my first communion.  I went to church for 10 days in a row just to feel the unity of my budding senses with my roaring spirit…over….and over…and over again.

I give myself to this penetration of flavor as deeply as it gives itself to me.

And in doing so, I am reminded of the reason we call it “saying grace.”

Image: Vera Lair via Stocksy

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

Sensuality, Even At A Funeral

rs_1024x759-131011155025-1024.lange.cm.101113
When my Dad passed away two years ago, one of the things I found very therapeutic was shopping for and choosing my mourning outfits. To me, dressing for an occasion is a profound way of marking it’s importance.  Beauty heals, there is no doubt about it.  We dress up for graduations, weddings, job interviews, hot dates.  Why wouldn’t I meticulously plan my outfit to honor my Dad’s magnificent life?

I knew I wanted to look sleek, chic, and sensual. I ended up purchasing a sheer, spaghetti strap, floor length black dress. I slipped into it the night before the funeral and padded downstairs to get my Mom and sister’s opinions.  As I got to the bottom of the stairs, my mom’s eyes widened.

“That’s waaaaay too much skin to show at church,” she said with knee jerk disapproval.  I disagreed, but she was adamant.  In that moment I had a choice to make. I could:

Option #1: Stomp my foot and clench my fists like it’s 1993, bringing us all back to the beginnings of my teenage religious rebellion.

Option #2: Solemnly utter an “ok Mom”, place my beautiful dress back on the hanger and just get over it because you are not supposed to challenge your poor Mom after such a traumatic event.

Option #3: Tell my friggin’ truth.

My truth in that moment was:  

  • I am a grown woman, and I know myself.
  • When I feel sexy and embodied, I revel in all the pleasure that is available to me, even in deep grief.
  • There is nothing wrong with showing skin in church, because my body is my church.

I relayed my truth to my Mom with my head held high, and my bare shoulders proudly rolled back. She understood immediately and withdrew her knee jerk reaction.  I went into that day feeling strangely like a bride, marrying the mystery of life and death, love and loss.  I know my Dad would have been proud of me, because I showed up completely, wholly, unapologetically as myself.

 
Your body is a church.

Don’t let anyone tell you different. (click to tweet)

With shoulder blades singing,
KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

IS THIS A CONTAINER OR A CAGE?

Ballroom

Raise your hand if you have ever approached “bringing more feminine energy” into your life in this way:

1. “I am going to read every book I can get my hands on about sensuality and the divine feminine from start to finish and not stop until I change!”
2. “I am going to eat my dinner slowly and sensually EVERY SINGLE NIGHT from now on.”
3. “I am going to look in the mirror and blow myself a kiss EVERY DAY.”

Recently I was speaking with a client who wanted to incorporate more dancing into her life.  She had purchased a class pass at her local dance center, and chose one with a strict expiration date, “to make sure I go” she said.   “Of course I didn’t use it,” she followed, with a casual “you lazy idiot” implied in her tone.

This client of mine, she is dedicated to the divine feminine.  She is a pillar of it in my eyes.  And, this conversation really made me think.  We have so many practices, tools, techniques, classes and rituals to help us un-school the domestication of the feminine within ourselves.  HOWEVER, it is important to remember that these things exist as a CONTAINER for remembering our wild feminine, NOT A CAGE.

Rules, rigidity, good vs. bad, pass vs. fail, all these reek of a cage.

Boundaries, inspired ideas, and the freedom to commit to certain practices while living in the moment, all sing of a healthy container.

When you catch yourself:

  • Beating and berating yourself for doing something poorly or not doing it at all. AND/OR….
  • Constructing an A++ obstacle course to attain an ideal state of personal growth that is nearly impossible to complete…

I encourage you to slow down, or in most cases, stop completely.  Notice, where is this frenzy happening in your body? And if we could give it a voice, what would that sensation say?

Spoiler alert: your ego (straight lines) may think it hears something along the lines of “stop global warming”.  But the soft quiet voice of  your belly (round curves) will probably say something like “drink a glass of water”.  It is the mind f*ck  of the century to open to the possibility that there is no right or wrong, good or bad, A+ or F-, way to go about your day.  It is wildly subversive to indulge the idea that simply by inhaling and exhaling you are already contributing all that is actually required of you in the dance of life, and that anything beyond that is just icing on the cake.  

Wild, subversive, soft, grand, humble – sure sounds like someone I’d like to get to know.

With all the love in the world,
KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

Big Canvas, Baby Strokes

Snowballs,

I have a desire to tell you about.  It’s strong, potent, and lifelong. I desire to buy a chateau in Southern France and outfit it to become “The Seduction House”, a divine shelter for seductresses like you and me to be in our natural habitat. Imagine with me…

“…sleeping in a cozy, antique four-poster bed under fresh, white, luxury linens as the morning sun streams in through your windows, and a lavender breeze tickles you awake. You drape a dressing gown over your shoulders and pad down to the formal dining room. Under grand, rustic chandeliers you dine among some of the most passionate, creative, interesting, openhearted women you will ever meet.
 
During the day we have charm school lessons in the parlor where guest teachers come from all around the world to reveal their secrets of living a seductive, sensual, pleasure-based life.  In the late afternoon we ride bikes down to the sparkling sea and swim naked in that same water that inspired the art of Picasso, Monet and Van Gogh.
 
In the evening we are entertained by artists, singers, dancers, fire performers and burlesque queens in the basement that has been renovated into a grand theater.  And at night, we merrily gather around the huge living room fireplace in fluffy robes to close out the day with a fragrant cup of tea and a smooth nightcap.”

I so look forward to the day our first guests pull into the gravel driveway lined with topiaries, their eyes widening with delight. But that day is not today my loves. In fact, today just happens to be one of those days where I feel like The Anti-Seduction. And the only thing worse than feeling like The Anti-Seduction is knowing you have all the tools to get back to  your right mind, but absolutely no motivation to use them.

When our desires feel as far off and uncertain as The New World to an early explorer, how do we keep the wind in our sails?

Four Words: Big Canvas, Baby Strokes.

When I was a kid I was obsessed with the Pointillism. Pointillism is a technique of painting in which small, distinct dots of color are applied in patterns to form an image. In the quest to create The Seduction House, it feels like I want to make big, broad strokes and go much faster than what my current expertise and resources are ready for. But the true seduction of a deeply held desire is much more subtle; it is a long game, made of several small strokes all put together. Think of all the the footsteps that go into running a marathon, or all the touch strokes that lead to a mind-bending orgasm.  One big move won’t get you hardly anywhere, but savoring every step and feeling every stroke most certainly will.

What coins are you throwing in the fountain of your desires these days my loves? I always love to hear from you in the comments.  And, if you know any French real estate agents….{wink}

Je T’aime,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

Mother Mary, Summer Hats, Tassels & Tea. In other words, swoon with me!

swoon july

 

Love buttons,

I just returned from an amazing week in Mexico at the Astrotwins’ Become Your Own Astrologer Retreat (dates for 2017 now open, check them out!).  What a week! I’m feeling rosy from the sun, delirious from the giggles, and full to the brim with goodness to share – cue the April edition of Swoon! Swoon is a semi-monthly feature where I spill the beans on all my most recent favorite things.  I hope you enjoy!


Photo Apr 13, 5 19 39 PM 1. “Out of the ash I rise with my red hair and I eat men like air”, is just one of 40 completely bad-ass sentiments by Sylvia Plath, curated here.

2. Tea and tassels – a winning combo.

3. I just ordered a fresh deck of these epic Mother Mary Oracle Cards for the upcoming Eve’s Redemption Seduction Retreat.  Every reading with them is like sitting down with the Goddess herself.  HIGHLY recommended!

Photo Apr 13, 5 21 09 PM

4. Brain is the new ass. Like if you agree!

5. Stop the F*cking PRESS! There is now a Miss Fisher Coloring Book! Miss Phryne Fisher is my ICON.  No one exemplifies Sacred Seduction in action like this woman! I’ve watched every episode twice and I advise you to do the same!

6. As a devoted wearer of the hollywood red lipstick shade Ruby Woo by Mac, I’ve found a new hot-pink lover that I can’t keep off my lips.  “All Fired Up”, is a muted, matte fuchsia perfect for spring!

Photo Apr 13, 5 23 08 PM7. Really interesting piece on monogamy, hooking up, fulfillment and satisfaction.  Charlotte Shane writes: “It doesn’t take long to realize that having lots of sex is not synonymous with sexual satisfaction, and even sexual satiation is not synonymous with joy or larger fulfillment.” What do you think?

8. HELLO Spring Statement Shoe!

Photo Apr 13, 5 22 22 PM9. This white quartz mobile  will add a seductive, earthy, bohemian vibe to your space.

10. Ever scramble for topics to talk about on a date? Not anymore!

11. “The only romantic thing left in life is a hat.” Mimi Weddell. This straw cloche is my summer go to.

Did you Enjoy this article? Click here to share!

 

 

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

“Getting The Spark Back” FOR REAL

Low angle view of lit firework sparkler against night sky

One of the most common questions I get asked by my clients is how to bring the spark back to a long term relationship. If you google “get the spark back” you will find a thousand and one answers to that question. “Act as if you have just started dating again, buy flowers, make eye contact over dinner, invest in some fuzzy handcuffs, etc.”

These things are fabulous instigators for spark, but let’s get clear about something: they are SYMPTOM based solutions.  It’s kind of like dieting.  There is no lack of education in our culture about how to lose weight, and yet, the diet industry continues to grow by leaps and bounds each year because despite all this information, the body is not something that can be controlled like a basil plant in your kitchen.  It is wild and alive with ever changing appetites that are governed by more than just refueling.  Celebration, self soothing, unplanned events and other factors are natural forces that turn the tides of our cravings, which is why calculated systems for controlling your appetites almost never work.

If you’ve been in class with me before, you know that I don’t teach pick up lines or anything else related to the traditional paradigm of seduction, at least not at the start. What I do teach is how to listen to the true longings of your heart.  I will teach you how to live openly, honestly, and with bold authenticity. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING more sexy than feeling seen, heard, and DESIRED by your partner for being exactly who you are. That kind of relationship does not lack for spark, and that is exactly the type of relationship I want for you.

I may not teach how to get the spark back in the traditional way, but I do know how to light a fire inside you, and my signature program, Sacred Seduction Deep Dive, which starts Monday, is a seven-week intensive to do just that. In Deep Dive I will teach you how to be a powerful, sovereign, juicy, sassy woman. I will teach you how to be true to yourself no matter what.  A woman like that is a seduction powerhouse.  When you own every part of your truth you don’t need pick up lines, because you will have returned to your instincts.

Saturday is the last day to enroll.  To say yes to your spark, say yes to your truth, and say yes to yourself, click here and join us.

deep dive program

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

Swagger, Seduction, and Smiles

Stocksy_txp80a809812At000_Small_317290

Last night I was at a yoga class and the teacher read a poem about “the practice of smiling.” It was about the idea that adding smiling to whatever you are doing will increase your sense of joy. It sounds honorable enough, but it actually made me really sad. Can you imagine telling a little kid they need to practice their smiling? I bet they would burst into a huge smile and laugh on the spot! But that’s what happens when we grow up isn’t it? We train the instincts out of a kid, so that even smiling becomes systematic and goal oriented. BLECH.

Question for you:

Instead of, or in addition to, bringing smiling as a practice to the shit you hate, WHAT IF you just did less of the shit you hate??

I know it is not always that simple, but that is why Sacred Seduction® exists – to give you a road map, compass and a support team as you navigate what truly seduces your heart, and begin to design your life around just that.  It makes me think of one of my clients named Tina. When I met Tina she was a little corporate worker mouse, seriously frayed around the edges. Married to her job and to her abusive boss’s approval, she hadn’t slept through the night in years.

In one of our sessions, Tina said a friend had told her what she needed to learn was “swagger”, and asked me if I could teach it to her.  I said yes, if she was willing to do anything to get it.  She agreed, and so I gave her the assignment to embarrass herself five times over the next week. As a type A person, this was her worst nightmare, but it gave her a lot to think about.  I told her that swagger isn’t really something you can learn, it is only something you can cultivate, and I wished her luck.

Tina was no stranger to living outside her comfort zone. She was incredibly successful at her career but had gotten there by giving her literal blood, sweat and tears (lot’s and lots of them).  Now, it was time to activate a new circle outside her comfort zone. Rather than doing, she was pressed to just be.  Rather than telling her body and mind what to do, it was time now to listen.

And listen she did.  A month later she quit her job, moved to Italy to work on a farm for a month, and fulfilled a lifelong dream of starting her own health and wellness business. Upon giving notice, her boss said some mean things to try to curse and prevent her success, most likely because he was so sad to lose her and so threatened by her independence. It rolled off her back like an olive off a Tuscan tree.   Now, Tina cannot stop smiling. She wakes up in the morning rested and refreshed after a good night’s sleep.  “Ease” has become her middle name.   Still pressing outside her comfort zone, she just completed her first speaking gig to a group of 350 people about wellness in the workplace. She looked out over the audience of tired eyes and spoke to them from the perspective of someone who had been there once, and owned that stage with total swagger.

Tina is a shining example of what happens when we tap into seduction as a positive force in our life, rather than dismissing it as a negative. She has built her life based around what seduces her soul, and let me tell you – this girl Cannot. Stop. SMILING

Natural, instinctive, smiling from the inside out – this is what I want for you and every woman, and that is exactly why I created my signature program Sacred Seduction Deep Dive, which begins Monday.  If genuine swagger is something you want, but the traditional approaches to get it have not worked for you, come to me my darlings.  Let me teach you everything I know.  Your life will look drastically different after a program like Deep Dive, and it is a sight that I guarantee will make you smile BIG.

Cheeeeese,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

 

 

P.S. – Uncertain if Deep Dive is right for you? Click here to send me an email. There is nothing I love more than connecting, and helping you make wise, empowered decisions that feel good to you.  Let’s Talk!

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

Being A Sensual Woman Is Easier Than You Think

Sexy Fig

Recently I was speaking with a client who is currently in graduate school and hella stressed out.  We were discussing how to bring more sensuality into the current construct of her life which, like the shape of a book, is quite linear and hard around the edges at the moment. She shared that she has tried on her own to live with more sensuality, but it never quite seems to stick.

“You know Kitty, I own the lingerie, and I know I’m supposed to have nights where I eat figs and cheese off of silver platters and watch old movies in a dressing gown” she said, “but I just feel silly doing it, like it’s not me.  I think deep down I just don’t believe that I am a sensual woman.”

I told her I could relate, but she didn’t believe me.

“You’re such a sensual woman though! Lingerie and figs is like, what you do!” she said.

That’s true. AND, I can also remember a time when lingerie and figs felt about as natural as doing a headstand on a moving subway train.

Do you ever feel like your body, your wardrobe, or your vernacular needs to be different in order to become a sensual woman?

Well, let’s test that theory.

Take a moment to raise your right hand to your left forearm, and give it a little caress.

Did you feel that?

Well there you go. You’re a sensual woman. Welcome to the club. {wink}

See, sensuality is nothing more and nothing less than an experience of the senses. The lingerie, the lip gloss, the figs, the wine goblet, these things are not the source of your sensual power, they are expressions of the sensual power that already lives within you.

“Can it really be that easy?”  my darling client asked.

“It can” I replied, “if you are willing to make the simple shift of claiming that you already are a sensual woman, rather than going along with the idea that you need to become a sensual woman.”

A SENSUAL WOMAN IS NOT WHAT YOU BECOMEclick the image to tweet!

I mean, have you ever seen a baby with a teething ring, or ridden down a snowy hill on a sled when you were five years old, or rubbed a dandelion on your skin just to see the bright yellow color it would leave behind? Don’t you dare try to tell me we are not born with all the sensuality we will ever need.

You may think that time and cultural conditioning have trained the sensuality right out of you. But not so my loves.  Not by a long shot.  The awareness of your sensual nature may have been tampered with, but your actual sensual nature is eternal, unbreakable, un-train-outable.

It is the deepest part of you, your literal flesh and bone.

It is the part that speaks without words and think without thoughts.
It is always there, waiting for even the slightest acknowledgment from you, so it can serve you everything you desire.

This process simple, but not always easy.  If you feel like sensuality is not something that comes easily to you, please don’t let this round of Sacred Seduction® Deep Dive pass you by.  This course will take you to the depths of your sensual truth.

I want to teach you about the crystal ball in your pocket that shines with a 100% accuracy rate, how sensuality can make you more productive at work, and more wise, grounded and present in your family life. You see, sensuality is holistic.  There is no part of your life  it does not already affect. This ship has already set sail. Now, let’s give you the power of a compass.

Love,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

 

 

 

Today is the last day to take advantage of the Early Sign Up Savings – click here for all the details.

P.S. – feeling like you want to become a member of Deep Dive but have questions about whether or not it’s right for you? Click here to book a free 20-minute one-on-one with yours truly.

deep dive program

 

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.

The Absolute Key To Sustainable Self Care

Stocksy_txp5dcc3ea38Ur000_Small_834176

Many people see me as being a self care maven, but the truth is, my relationship to self care has always been a slippery slope. Don’t get me wrong, compared to ten years ago, today my life is a veritable spa.  But I find that with all the opinions about what good self care is, and all the Instagram quotes preaching about filling my vessel before I give to others, I quickly short circuit and just want to throw up my hands about the whole thing.

How I’ve learned to navigate around this, and any frustration really, is through this quote by Louis Schwartzberg:

“Beauty and seduction are nature’s tools for survival, for we protect what we fall in love with.”

Recently I took a fabulous class in Mayan Abdominal Self Care Massage.  During one portion of the class I fell asleep massaging my belly.  I awoke with a start to the sound of new age music and a soft spoken meditation.  I suppose I should have felt relaxed and rejuvenated, but in that moment I felt acutely irritated.  When class ended I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.  I drove home with a serious furrow in my brow feeling confused and angry, but couldn’t pinpoint the reason.

Then the raunchy, hard rock song “Stroke Me” by Billy Squier came on the radio.  I started to laugh, imagining all of us doing the belly massage to this song instead of the archangel-harp-spa-music.  My heart lightened.  I realized that there was an essential element to sustaining my self care that was being neglected: making things sexy.

It made me think of when my Mom was in the hospital a few weeks ago, and she was refusing to drink a shot of aloe vera juice for her tummy, even though it was necessary for her to feel better.  Rather than rolling my eyes and insisting, I turned on the song Sweet Home Alabama, pretended we were at a college frat party and shouted “Chug! Chug! Chug!” until she was laughing so hard she couldn’t help but take the shot.

Humor, sexiness, pleasure, romance, fun…these are NECESSARY NUTRIENTS to sustain any sort of practice. And for that reason I say with absolute certainty: Seduction is the key to sustainability. (click to tweet!)

QUOTE.KEY TO SUSTAINABILITY

 

For some people it is enough to get up in the morning and grab their dry body brush just because it supports the lymphatic system.  I think that’s great.  For me, that little sucker needs to be on a silver platter sprinkled with some enchanting essential oils while Maria Callas belts out arias at wake the neighbors volume.  As I brush, I need to check out my ass in the mirror with “you are so hot” attention and finish with a little spank.  Seduction is about enjoying the whole process, not just the end result.

If this truth resonates with you, darlings, listen up! My signature program Sacred Seduction® Deep Dive opens for enrollment this Thursday, March 10th.  Deep Dive gives you an extensive library of knowledge in how to live a seduction based life, but in addition, I go in deep with you through one-on-one and group coaching to give you all the personal attention you need.  It is my favorite program to teach, I look forward to it all year.  What would it feel like to have that enthusiasm poured all over you to transform your life through romance, seduction and fun, rather than hard work?

If you’re answer is: it would feel f*cking fabulous, don’t wait another minute. Click here!

Lovin’ and Rubbin’,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

 

 

 

Image: Howl Collective

 

Want more? With pleasure...

Sign up here for weekly entries and a free download of the first chapter of my book.