Turning Shyness into Seduction

image. shyOne of the questions I most often receive from my clients is this:

“How do I feel more seductive in front of people who intimidate me? I am always so shy, I hate it, I clam up. At work, at meetings, when I’m with someone I like; I know I should speak up but I just can’t.”

Maybe you know there is a side to yourself that is cheeky, funny, and confident or red hot and seductive.  When you are comfortable, this side of yourself can be more dazzling than the stage at the Moulin Rouge, but when you are uncomfortable those curtains zip closed faster than you can say “Toulouse”.

If you can relate to this scenario even a little bit then this bud’s for you: how to be shy and seductive at the same time.

When shyness or insecurity comes up, it can be tempting to want elbow that side of yourself out of the way like some annoying little sister. The problem is, feeling insecure about feeling insecure only leads to you feeling more…you get the picture.

The thing to know about a sacred seductress is this:  there is no part of herself that she does not own.  For all you Harry Potter nerds out there, (Like me. Sorry but I have to) like the Sword of Gryffindor, she only takes in that which makes her stronger.  When we try stuff down or hide our shy side, it initiates the exact thing we are trying to avoid: we feel even more awkward.  What must be done in order to integrate the introvert? We must welcome her to the table, set out a place just for her, and prepare a feast.  We must choose to love her, rather than fight her.  In doing so, she transforms from being the awkward insecure teenager to the stuff of seduction legend: a sly, teasing coquette.

image. coquette

In the book “Mists of Avalon” , Morgaine, the main character is a priestess who is defending her matriarchal culture against the Christian patriarchal takeover in Arthuruian times.  To get to the island of Avalon in this story, you can’t just hop on a boat and sail on over. Avalon cannot be found on GPS.  One must go on a journey, like walking a labyrinth, and stare deep into the mist.  Only once a person has proven their worth, and looked deep enough into the mist does Avalon reveal herself.

This legend is metaphor for the nature of seduction itself.  When you feel shy, it is not because you are awkward, lame or fumbling.  It is simply a gathering of the mists.

Discernment is a virtue of seduction, and you prove to have it in spades.  You don’t just let anyone behind the curtain.  They must earn that privilege.  If this is something you can accept and love about yourself, it will make you even more desirable.  It becomes your asset, rather than your flaw.

Swing low, sweet chariot,

k swirl signature


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *