Today I want to talk to you about something that is at the heart of seduction being a spiritual practice. It’s called “Tissue Box Syndrome” and in my opinion, it is the number one killer of a woman’s confidence. Allow me to take you on a tour:
After a long day at work you decide you should go to the gym. After your workout you feel glad you went, but in the back of your mind is a voice saying “yeah, you worked out, but you didn’t do any ab work”. On your way home you feel a little tight in your body and still stressed from your day at work, and wonder if maybe you should have gone to a yoga class instead. When you get home you decide to practice a little self care, so you pour a bath. While in the bathtub, you decide to watch something on Periscope. The whole time you feel good that you are taking a bath but think you should probably be reading a book or meditating to relax and work on being more present. Before bed, you decide you should clean up the kitchen so you can rest easy knowing your work for the day is done. But as your head hits the pillow, you wonder if maybe you should have gone straight to bed because now it’s so late. Or, if you did to go straight to bed, you think about how maybe you should have cleaned up the kitchen…
OH MY GOOD LORD. It’s exhausting even to read, isn’t it?
Tissue Box Syndrome is when you are striving to do the right things in life, not just in your big achievements but in the little things like self-care. However, you find that once you get that one thing done, another thing pops up that you could do in addition, or that you should have done differently, like tissues popping up one after the other out of a box.
I remember one particular Tissue Box moment years ago when I was trying to decide what to have for dinner. “Salmon with orzo or veggie pizza?” was a thought I had turned over in my head a hundred times that day, like a hamburger that just wouldn’t cook. It wasn’t the calories I was worried about, I had kissed my inner-perfect-eater goodbye long ago. What I was obsessing over in that moment was what my intuition was telling me to eat. I couldn’t get a read on my inner pilot light and was freaking out about not being able to listen within. In that moment had a stunning realization: whether I was stressing about calories or stressing about listening within, I was still STRESSING. THE EFF. OUT.
The tricky thing about this syndrome is that it doesn’t just effect what we have for dinner or what we do before bed. This cannibalistic consciousness embeds itself insidiously into every area of life, diminishing our sense of confidence and power, and needlessly taking up acres of precious psychic space. When it comes to winning this race you might think that working harder and becoming more agile will put you ahead, but here’s the deal my darling: it’s impossible to win a race when the finish line is constantly moving. In order to win, and I mean truly win, you’ve got to take yourself out of the game altogether.
A beacon of a woman who has made this transformation is Liv. Liv is a graduate of my signature program Deep Dive, which has just opened for enrollment. Liv has experienced massive change from making this simple shift, and she generously offered to share her story:
“Before Deep Dive I was the girl who could make anything into a guilt fest. Guilt was my best friend and also my worst enemy. My day revolved around thoughts like, “why did you eat so much? You could be a better mother. You need to pay more attention to your husband.” Kitty transformed this for me. Deep Dive has created one of the deepest healings in my life. It taught me that rather than face my guilt and shame with positive thoughts and affirmations, I literally had to just step out of the war. I stepped out and started living. This program will teach you to peel back the layers to get to that jewel of authenticity that lives inside. This program will give you an amazing community for when you feel like you can’t make the last mile. This program is a life saver and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to step out of the battle within. Kitty has the guts and the determination to help you drop the load you are carrying. Do it.”
I am deeply honored and grateful to Liv for this glowing testimonial, but even more than her words I am awed by the way I see her living her life, free from the voice of “should” and flying on the wings of Power, Pleasure and Purpose, the three pillars of a Seductive Life.
Photo by: Sonja Lekovic