What Spring Teaches Us About The Soul


As spring gives way to early summer, it becomes easier and easier to see the parallels that exist between seasons of the earth and seasons in ourselves.

Recently while hiking high in the mountains, I noticed beneath the dead leaves and dry branches a small, sweet spray of wildflowers, silently singing their song of tender beauty.

They each had tiny, fragile little buds. All rich with color, and radiant with loveliness.

We know that our bodies reflect the rhythm of the seasons, but these flowers showed me how true that is also of the soul. When the soul is tender, moments of ease, trust, safety and peace can feel as rare and vulnerable as a budding spring wildflower.

Small. Delicate. Easily stepped on, easily unnoticed.

As time grows, these flowers will grow. Summer will come. Their stalks will strengthen and their blooms will brighten. Much like those times where feelings of trust, ease and safety are in such abundance we take them for granted, we become so accustomed to the beauty of the flower’s bloom we forget they are even there.

There are times where these flowers, and these feelings, will literally die on the vine, and all we can do is watch. How powerless we are to stop the blaze of glory that is their beautiful demise.

When winter comes, it can seem like the flowers never even really existed in the first place. Like they were just a dream, a ghost or a fantasy.

But they are always there, even when they are not. Deep within the frozen earth, their seeds, those tiny pods of pure potential reign eternal.

Like the earth, these seasons of the soul are not singular. We get more than one bud at a time. Some may be in summer, some may be dead and crunchy underfoot.

While we can’t control how fast they bloom, with nurturance, protection, and trust, we can make space for their roots to grip, and their blossoms to rise.

There is a certain prayer I love: ”God, I have only to look to nature to see proof of the abundance you provide.”

May we all rest easy in the harmony of the seasons, and in truth that everything is changing, always. And that that change is ultimately what we are all here for in the end.

Over to you mi amor – How do you notice these changes happening in your own life, physically, emotionally and spiritually? Do tell in the comments. I’d love to hear how you are weathering the seasons in style.

Here’s to a wild, naked spring,


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A Translation Tool For Your Inner Voice


When a woman begins to listen to her intuition, a very common question that arises is:

How do I know it’s my intuition that’s doing the talking? What if it’s just my impulses, or my fear?”

Today I want to offer you a very simple tool that will help translate the messages of your inner voice. It involves listening for three things:

1. Tone

2. Pitch

3. Speed

When you think of a person who is fear, what does their voice sound like? Very loud, very fast, and very frantic.

A person who is impulsive, again: quite loud, fast, and frantic.

A person who is cynical and un-trusting? Loud, mocking and critical.

But what about a person who is grounded, at ease, and in control?

That voice is usually slow and even. It’s much more quiet that the others, it seems to come from a deeper place. It is the voice that comes from the calm, slow waters deep in the ocean, rather than the frothy chaos on the surface.

Ready to test it out?

For a front row seat to this Broadway show, all you have to do is to close your eyes and meditate. The reason many people don’t meditate is because they feel they can’t seem to “quiet their minds.”

But this time, rather than telling your mind to shut up, I suggest that you listen.

Listen not so much to what your mind has to say, but to the tone, speed and pitch in which it is speaking.

Once you can decipher who is holding the microphone in your mind at any given moment, you will begin to learn which voice to trust.

Close your eyes and do this exercise for one minute right now. What do you notice? I’d love to hear from you in a comment.

Om and Ciao,




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100 Songs To Slow You Down (Free Playlist)

100 Songs To Slow You Down (Playlist)

Dear Sugar Blossoms,

A few weeks ago I hosted a party, and while happily chopping onions in the kitchen I got a text from my friend Jaime. “Even though I can’t be there tonight I left a little something on the porch to be there in spirit.”

I went to my front porch and there waiting for me was the most gorgeous bouquet of pink tiger lilies. It was a secret admirer fantasy come true!

It would have been very easy to exclaim, “how nice!”, then throw the flowers in a vase and go back to chopping onions feverishly, letting the experience just skim the surface of my consciousness like a rock skipping over a lake.

But instead I scooped them up in my arms and I drank the moment in. I savored their beauty and felt my heart explode with gratitude. I was fully present to this special moment of love and friendship.

I took that rock of consciousness and followed its full journey across the lake, all the way down to the sandy floor.

There is nothing more sweet than being truly AWAKE during an experience of pleasure, tenderness, and beauty. 

But with so many more “legitimate” tasks that steal our attention, it’s easy put pleasure off until we think we’ve really earned it.

And yet, the very thing we work so hard for has been sitting there the whole time, like a pink tiger lily right under one’s nose.

It takes great bravery to go slow. It also takes great music.

That’s why I’ve created a special playlist of 100 Songs To Slow You Down, that you can listen to at work, at play, or while chopping onions for a party.

And if slowing down is something you’d like even more support with, come to my free Q and A on Thursday at 2pm EST. 

We’ll snuggle up in front of my fireplace, and I will share with you the key tools to slowing down that I use personally  that I only share with my private clients.

We are going get to the root what keeps you from slowing down, address the areas where energy is leaking from your life, and take your power BACK.


If you can’t be there live you can sign-up anyway, and the playback will be made available for a limited time.


I can’t wait to talk to you then!

All my love,


Image By Willy Nilly Lily



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Do you ever wish you could slow things down, but despite your best efforts, can’t ever seem to make it happen?

When it comes to slowing down, it’s not that we don’t know how to do it. If anything, we know way too much.

We know very well how to draw a bubble bath, how to make a fragrant cup of tea, how to sit outside in the sunshine.

Slowing down is not the problem.

The problem is that when we do it, we have to face the whiplash that comes from going 80 mph to going 10 mph, and all the things that come up as a result. For example:

  • Sitting in the bathtub for half an hour may sound relaxing, but it also means having to listen to your racing thoughts. Alongside that comes acknowledging that as hard as you try, you just can’t seem to quiet your mind and seem to slow them down. And that frustrates you.
  • Sitting outside in the sunshine sounds good, but it would mean pressing pause on your kids, your parents, your spouse and/or your work. Not only would those things crumble without your care, secretly, you would crumble if for one second you thought they didn’t need you to survive. Catering to their every need makes you feel powerful. Depleted, burnt out and resentful, yes. But powerful.
  • Making a cup tea sounds nice, but it means that you would probably have to pay attention to that nagging feeling in your gut telling you that something doesn’t feel quite right in your relationship, or your job, or some other aspect of your life, and since you don’t know how to fix it, you just don’t want to face it.

So we stay busy, we keep working, we keep serving; all the time wondering when we are going to finally be able to relax, savor, and enjoy life. But as you can see.

To slow down in life, it’s not more TIME we need, it’s more COURAGE.

Courage to listen to what the racing thoughts, feeling in your gut, and the need to people please are really trying to say.

It’s listening to and acting upon those messages that truly cuts your energy and your power loose. (The bubble baths are really just the icing on the cake.)

On Thursday, April 13th I am hosting a free, live-video Q & A call to address your personal blocks on slowing down. 

In this hour we are going get to the root what keeps you from slowing down, address the areas where energy is leaking from your life, and take your power BACK.

You can even submit your questions anonymously and I will answer them live on the call.


Also,  parties are always more fun when you invite your GIRLFRIENDS!

To share this powerful class with your tribe, just copy/paste the link www.kittycavalier.com/freecall, or click here to share on Facebook.

See you on the 13th!


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Where Do I Even Start? (Creativity Overwhelm)


Do you ever feel so overwhelmed by your wild, creative dreams that you don’t even know where to start?

Being the first week of Spring, this question is particularly auspicious.

To know where to begin, we first have to understand the fundamental differences between creation and production.

Production means “to bring forth.”

An example of production would be to take the pieces of a refrigerator out of a box, follow a manual, and assemble or “bring forth” said refrigerator.

Creation on the other hand, is different.

Creation means “to form out of nothing.”

In contrast, creation would not be the assembly of a refrigerator, it would be inventing refrigeration.

A much different game indeed.

Creation doesn’t tell us when we’ll finish, or where.

Creation doesn’t tell us what it will look like in the end, or if we will even arrive at an end at all.

To get in on the game of creation, we have to stop playing by production’s rules. (click to tweet!)

For example, when a woman is pregnant, she doesn’t say to her friends “I’m sorry, I can’t go to the movies tonight, I have to go home and make my baby’s toenails.”

She’s not assembling the baby inside of her. She’s CREATING it.

With every throb of her heart and every breath of her lungs, she lives the steady mantra of “grow, grow, grow.”

And so it is with every other thing we are “forming out of nothing.” Careers, relationships, art, life. We breathe, we pray, we grow…grow…grow.

Years ago I asked my friend Rochelle Schieck, creator of Qoya, how she took the seed of an idea for a new kind of movement class, and nurtured it into full blown tree that now shelters and feeds thousands of women on the journey back to their bodies.

“Just start” she replied.

Just start.

As in, rather than focusing on what will get you to your destination the fastest, just start walking.

Or rather than focusing on what the title of your book should be, just start writing it.


When I first started my business I taught seduction classes under fluorescent lighting out of dance studios that smelled like gym socks. (I did my best with my candles and rose petals, but come on.)

My dream was to someday be teaching my classes inside a 17th century Tuscan villa. Today that dream is my reality.

I had no idea how that dream was going to happen. The only thing I knew for sure was that it was NEVER going to happen unless I was willing to just start.

So today, in honor of the little seeds that are courageously splitting wide open under the dark, frozen soil with absolutely no idea where they will end up, may we all be so brave. May we all “just start.”


In what areas of your life are you currently leaping with no guarantee of a net, but a deep trust that if you just start, your actions will weave the net for you? I’d love to hear about them in the comments.

I love you snowdrop,







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Cutting The Ribbon On Something Brand New

Dearest Turtle Doves,

As promised, today is the day I cut the ribbon and draw back the curtain on a secret project I’ve been working on for months.

But first, I want to ask you a few questions:

  • How much more energy would you have if you never had to put on a mask?
  • How much more genuine fun would you have if you never laughed at things that aren’t funny?
  • What if the purpose of life isn’t to be happy all the time, but it is simply to be honest?

Vérité is the French word for Truth, but Vérité has a much deeper meaning than just it’s literal definition.

Vérité is a radiance, a presence, and a confidence.

Vérité is the ability to be fully in the present moment and not run away.

Vérité is the glow that comes from taking the truth that lives inside of you, and proudly allowing it to exist on the outside.

Click here and let me be the first to welcome you to Vérité












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What Cleopatra Knew About Feminine Leadership

cleo knew instaOstrich Plumes,

One of the most common questions I receive from my clients is: “How do I allow my femininity to thrive when I live and work in such a masculine world?”

Or, as one friend so articulately put it: “As women, how do we own the fact that we are hot shit without attracting a box of shit?”

With questions like this, I look to the legends. Take Cleopatra for example.

When you imagine this Egyptian Queen, what do you usually think of?

Kohl Eyeliner? Curls of sandalwood incense? Grand entrances?

Yes, yes and YES.


We often fail to remember that Cleopatra was one of most powerful and influential leaders in all of political history.

Cleo did more than just bathe in milk my friends.

She ruled an entire country. She was brave, and ruthless in the way she protected her right to the throne.

All the while, she did not censor her femininity. She celebrated it, exalted it, and used it to benefit herself and everyone around her.

More than 2000 years later, we still can’t stop talking about it.

This kind of leadership that is INCLUSIVE of the Feminine Way is the next level, the cutting edge of empowerment. And my wish is for every woman to experience it in every area of her life.

That is why this Saturday March 11th I’m teaching a free class called “What Cleopatra Knew About Feminine Leadership (and what you should know about it too.)”

In this powerful class you will learn:

  • The biological differences in the psyche of men and women when it comes to acquiring power
  • The REAL reason owning your sexiness gives you a powerful edge (hint: it’s has absolutely nothing to do with men)
  • How to take your feminine power back when it feels squashed by a masculine world
  • How to set boundaries with grace and style
    The ultimate weapon of feminine leadership (to be revealed in the class)

PLUS like any good party there will be favors, games, and one hell of a grand prize.




Update: The original air date for this class has passed but sign up here and you will be the first to know when it is offered again!  





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Memoirs From A Heartbreak Party



Lemon Drops,

Recently I ended a relationship with someone I loved very much.  It was a painful, but not hurtful ending to a beautiful love affair.  On Valentine’s Day (ironically), we said peaceful goodbyes and wished each other the very best.

No matter how elegant a breakup may be however, no one is immune to the way heartbreak can turn life upside down.

When a death happens, be it of a person or a relationship, we honor it with ceremony and celebration. So as soon as I got home on Valentine’s Day I invited a few close girlfriends over on Friday night for a Heartbreak Party.

I made a big pot of risotto and invited my friends to bring chocolate, wine, ouija boards, oracle cards, performances, side dishes, four legged friends…whatever was their pleasure to contribute.

This request was more than just a desire to not do all the work. It was a demonstrative prayer that when it comes to throwing a dinner party or mending a broken heart, I can’t do this alone.

And that the ideas and offerings of all of us are so much more healing and powerful than just the directives of one of us.

Lindsay was the first to arrive, bearing semi-sweet chocolate chips and ripe strawberries to make us sumptuous dessert. Quinn brought her signature gluten-free brownies that shimmered with big crystals of sea salt on top.

Cynthia walked in with an armful of flowers – when she was  shopping the grocer asked if she was buying a belated Valentine.  “Actually I’m going to heartbreak party” she said.

“Well then, I want you to go pick out another bouquet, and tell your friend those are from me” he replied.

And so we were blessed with not one, but two bursting bouquets of nature’s beauty, both imbued with the love of an empathetic stranger. (sigh and swoon)We enjoyed a great meal, meaningful conversation, Qoya by candlelight, and deep belly laughs.


Click to tweet

At the end of the evening, a friend reflected on how the traditional way to have a heartbreak party is to take a girlfriend out, get her drunk on tequila, and cheer her on while she makes-out with a stranger.  But this party was different.  It was about being present, rather than trying to escape.  No one was shouting about it being “his loss” or feverishly reassuring me that my life will be better in no time.

This was about drinking in and savoring the bittersweet flavor that comes when the only way for a heart to open is for it to break.

It was an honoring of the fact that love doesn’t have to end just because relationships do.

And it was a celebration of the fact that sometimes the most brave and loving thing we can do is simply let go.

Often we use the expression “sit with our feelings”.  This party gave me and experience of not just sitting with my feelings but savoring them, like they were a potent glass of cloudy absinthe, or a dark, floor-length velvet cloak.

What acts of beauty do you use to savor every taste and texture that comes from celebrating the darkness and the light? I’d love to hear about them in the comments.

Here’s to Brownies For Breakfast,







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A Fascinating Tool For Valentine’s Day Astrology


Happy Seduction Christmas – I mean, Valentine’s Day!

I absolutely adore Valentine’s Day.  I wake up in the morning and texts to everyone I know with hearts and flowers, kind of like the way people send copious emojis on Christmas morning to wish you a Merry Christmas.

In life and in love; romance, sensuality, affection, and beauty are what make my world go ’round. 

There was a time in when I thought these traits made me high maintenance and superficial. I always felt like I was asking too much of lovers, or that my expectations for sensuality and romance were  unrealistic.  But when I consulted the Astrotwins, celebrity astrologers and dear friends, they taught me a tool to understand my love style in a totally new way.

You probably already know that in your astrology chart the main thing you look at is your sun sign. Your sun sign is kind of your default, your baseline.  It’s what you read in a newspaper horoscope. But there is so much more to astrology than that! There are 10 planets that make up 10 different aspects of your personality.  For example:

Where the planet Venus was on the day you were born determines how you express and how you interpret love.

This made so much sense to me because I am a Virgo, the Virgin of the Zodiac; sign of purity, always analyzing, highly critical and extremely purpose driven.  TRUE.  But, I also have a rich, luscious, sensual side that falls hard for the Romeo who plants six dozen roses in my bedroom secretly on a Sunday.

I’m highly attracted to great style. I love to be preened and pettted. Confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac to me.  These are not the most Virgo of traits, which makes sense, because while my sun is in Virgo, my Venus is in LEO.

(Click here and find your birth date range to know your Venus sign.)

Leo is the lion of the zodiac, brave and regal.  Leo is the sign of royalty, drama, beauty, and romance.  Knowing this validated not just the things I am attracted to, but my very path in life.

For example, it is not sufficient enough for me to just be a high powered CEO entrepeneur (Virgo), nor is it satisfactory just to be a center stage showgirl, dazzling audiences from Paris to Polonia (Leo).

I want BOTH.

Hence my career as CEO of a company called Sacred Seduction.

On this Valentine’s Day, find where your Venus is and look to the pinnable cards I created below to learn more about your personal style and tastes in all your love affairs, including the one you have with yourself.

And, if a rich education in all elements of astrology is something that entices you, I invite you to join me in Tulum, Mexico for the annual Become Your Own Astrologer Retreat with the Astrotwins.  This will be my third year in a row teaching Qoya and Sacred Seduction at the retreat.  It is one of my favorite weeks of the year, I actually start planning my outfits a year in advance! (There’s that Virgo planner, and that Leo lover of costume!)

tulum-banner-2017-fullwidthIt will be a Scorpio full moon, so expect lots of skinny dipping!

However you spend your Valentine’s Day this year, I hope it is laden with deep love for yourself, your body, and deep gratitude for all the love in your life.

Beyoncé Is A Virgo,

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Swoonable January!

swoon july

Hello Fresh Coconuts!  New Year, new reasons to Swoon! Swoon is a monthly feature of hand-picked items and articles that are currently tickling my fancy.  Enjoy!








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