5 Books To Ignite Your Senses This Summer

dangerous women. kitty photo

Summer Lovers!

Is there be a more satisfying, simple luxury than curling up with a wonderful book on a summer afternoon?

If there is, I dare you to prove it to me.

Each of the books on this list teases and tantalizes in their own unique way. They make me want to grab you by the collar, pull you close and whisper: YOU. MUST. READ. THIS. (a.k.a. – The Kitty Cavalier Stamp Of Approval.)


 

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Animal, Vegetable, Miracle

By Barbara Kingsolver

Who can make homesteading a romantic, whimsical and deeply moving affair? B. K., that’s who.  In this beautiful memoir she writes about the year long experiment of growing 100% of her family’s food, right down to the big, buoyant balls of mozzarella cheese.  A sweet and savory read for sure.

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Why I Wake Early

By Mary Oliver

Let me tell you something: there is a VERY GOOD REASON for owning a fainting couch, and her name is Mary Oliver.  I read a poem from this book upon waking, when my consciousness is still as fuzzy and innocent as a baby chick.  Just listen to this line: “Why worry about the loaves and fishes? If you say the right words, the wine expands.” Keep your smelling salts handy.

The Soul of Sex

By Thomas Moore

Love Sex? Love Theology? I think we have a winner!!! The Soul of Sex  is a deep, soulful, tender exploration of the holiness of the erotic. If rapturous nude angels in stained glass windows could talk, they would write  this book.

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Coming To My Senses: A Story of Perfume, Pleasure and an Unlikely Bride

By Alyssa Harad

This memoir begins as a woman’s embarrassing fetish with fragrance, and flourishes into a deeply intimate, personal story.  Ms. Harad leaves behind the straight lines of the life she expected, and leapt towards the curves of passion, which in this case just happen to take on the voluptuous shape of bottle of perfume.

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The Spy

by Paul Coelho

Ever wish the author of The Alchemist would write a book about, I don’t know, legendary seductress Mata Hari? Wish granted my sweet! This book is like a solid square of chocolate made with 100% cacao. Potent, dark, deep, vulnerable, and poetic.  Sigh.


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Ministry In A Miniskirt

1987, 2017

As a child, the future career I longed for most was to become a priest.  Every Sunday morning before the rest of my family woke up, I would put on my Dad’s bathrobe and my Mom’s scarf, set out two candles (which I couldn’t light because I was too young to light a match), and pretend I was the preacher giving a mass. 

I spoke sermons, baptized my baby dolls and cut tiny circles of bread to serve as the Eucharist.  As I would play I could feel a calling of service and spirituality unfold inside me like a fragrant Easter lily.

In the faith I grew up in however, women were not permitted to be priests.  That dream died on the vine until a recent weekend when I was asked to create a service for the Unitarian Universalist church, of which my Mom is a member.

This particular congregation has a part-time minister, which means that half the time the minister creates the service, and on the off weeks someone from the congregation itself does the job. When the worship organizer learned of my work and asked me to create a service, I may have knocked her over with the volume of my resounding “YES!”

Not only was this a chance to live my childhood dream, it was an opportunity to give back to a community that has given so much love, friendship and kindness to my mom and myself.

The U.U. principles are inclusive of all roads to faith.  The theme I chose for the service was “Letting Spirit Speak Through The Senses.” We sang the songs Morning Has Broken and Wake Now My Senses, and read the touching, simple poem “Trees” by Joyce Kilmer. 

For my homily, I shared straight from my heart about my personal journey of disowning and then reclaiming my body as an instrument through which I communicate with Spirit.  I shared stories about using my senses to pray, like this one about the day my Dad passed away. We did a meditation that honored the body as a temple, and an exercise to open our eyes to the beauty all around us.

I recorded my talk to share with you here. Just click the image to have a listen. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!   (Note: The audio quality did not come out as superb as I planned so I invite you to use it as an opportunity to listen more deeply.)

To close the service we sang “Annie’s Song” by John Denver, (a.k.a. “You Fill Up My Senses”.)  Mom was standing next to me, and as I put my arm around her shoulders and she put her arm around my waist, we both started to cry.  That song was a lullaby she used to sing to me as a baby.  As the whole congregation sang together, I swelled with gratitude at how lyrics to this song were imprinted into my cells as a child, and helped to shape my destiny.

Here’s to childhood dreams coming true in unexpected ways, and dreams we may not even know we have, like performing ministry in a miniskirt.

All My Love,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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Happy June, It’s Time to SWOON!

Happy Summer Darlings!
 
Welcome to the June edition of Swoon – a monthly feature where I share all things succulent, savory and swoonable.

 

This month we’ve got everything from a french honey to fresh makeovers; from sex magic to Shalimar. There’s a dark horse, a bright cocktail, and more treasures than you can shake your beach parasol at.

Swoon on sister!


 

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  • An inspiring and enlightening article “This is What Naked Power Looks Like”, featuring one of my favorite performers of ALL TIME, Miss Perle Noire.
  • Summer + Pineapple + Elegance + Raspberry + Ease + Beauty + Yum = This cocktail.
  • “The exploration of a mother’s midlife sexuality might not seem groundbreaking, until you think about how few people are doing it.” The Emancipation Of The MILF is an article that will provoke you in all the right places.

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    • Friends, listen to me very carefully. If you want to understand power, relationships, communication, intimacy and personal agency in a way it’s never been articulated before, do not take your eyes or ears off of this woman. Kasia Urbaniak has been a dear friend for over 15 years,  and I can say with total confidence that she is the real deal. Listen to this podcast, and feel how every word she says is like a sapphire dropped right into your hand.
    • Glennon. Effing. Doyle. This woman shakes me awake – wake to love, awake to beauty, awake to kindness, awake to truth. I cannot get enough of her, especially this post about anger which states: “We assume that if we are angry, there is something wrong with us instead of considering that maybe we are angry because there is something wrong with the world.”
    • Want to learn how orgasm can make you a published author or help you travel the world? Listen to every word Veronica Varlow says in this podcast on her signature: Sex Magic.

SWOON JUNE 2017 3


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An Act Of Inward Romance

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Recently a friend asked me the question “So Kitty, what do you do for play?

If you ever want to stress a fully grown adult out entirely, ask them that question.

I lead a very pleasure based life, but actual, active playing? Like, the kind I did when I was a kid? I know I’m not alone in feeling like I’m a bit rusty on that front.

This awareness came startlingly to light recently as a result of an experiment I’ve been doing for the past two months.

Every night, not long after the sun sets, I turn off all my electronics and literally unplug. No checking, no cheating until the next morning.

It’s a detox, and just like any other kind of detox there are times where I feel sheer, almost hallucinogenic bliss. Other times, it feels like a baboon with rabies has just been unleashed inside my mind.

During a recent, highly baboon-ish kind of evening with 4-5 hours of unoccupied time stretched out wide before me, I looked over at my dog Winnie and said, “What the hell do we do now???”

I remembered my friend’s question about play.  I decided, ruefully, to surrender and become one of those people who colors in coloring books at night for fun. (Cringes lovingly)

I turned on Diana Krall and lit every candle in my living room. I carefully chose a color scheme from my collection of colored pencils and I made a go of it. 

It was surprisingly calming, very soothing, and quite sweet.  

After I finished coloring the page I flipped it over and wrote a good old fashioned letter to my best friend in California.  We hadn’t connected in awhile, so I wrote about what’s new in my life, what books are on my nightstand, the fact that I had just spontaneously retold Winnie her adoption story, and when I did she rolled onto back like a baby sea otter and wagged her tail. 

All of these precious details would most likely have gotten lost in a phone call or a Facetime, but in the space of spontaneous play, they tumbled out like fat rolls of pink velvet ribbon.

I decorated the envelope with heart shaped stickers that exclaimed “Bonjour!” and “Je T’aime!”, with a Miles Davis postage stamp trumpeting across the top right corner.  

It was all so utterly romantic.

It was an act of inward romance.

Romance can bring so much to our lives, but when solely dependent on another person for it’s delivery, it is almost always set up for disappointment. 

Inward romance is an act of cozying up to the present moment, and giving it a warm, sweet embrace through the senses. (tweet this!)

What I’d really like to know from you in the comments is: (brace yourself) What does play feel like for you, and what’s your favorite way to do it?

Meet me in the Chucky Cheese Ball Pit,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

 

 

 

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Make Space For Grace

Do you remember when you first learned how to pray?

As a little kid I prayed because I thought it would make me a good girl. As a rebellious teenager I wouldn’t be caught dead praying in public, but at night I would talk to God when no one was looking.

As a young adult I did alot of “Santa Claus” praying – stating grand desires and setting specific time frames in which they should manifest. I’d do abundance rituals, love rituals, rituals to find my dream job, etc.

All of it seemed spiritual on the outside, but when I take an honest look my true intention was: “God please bring me money, love and clarity on my purpose so I can become rich and famous and have great sex within 30 days or less, ok?”

Today, I talk to the Divine as a trusted friend, rather than an authority figure I’m trying to impress. I also don’t pray for specific things anymore, instead I say a simple, powerful prayer in the morning that goes like this:

Please show me, and make me willing to look.

Please speak to me, and make me willing to listen.

Please guide me, and make me willing to act.

Then I sit for about ten minutes (or sometimes ten breaths), and in those silent moments, I make space for grace.

Grace is what floods in when I suddenly, intuitively know how to handle a problem that all the effort in the world couldn’t seem to fix.

I could read every book, go to every course and talk to every counselor, but grace? Grace is FREE Y’ALL!

What grace demands is not effort, but wide open space. (tweet this)

quote. grace demands not effort

If I sit on my hands, get out of my own way, and (lovingly) put a sock in it, grace slowly appears like Charlotte the spider, quietly weaving her web in the moonlight.

How do you define grace, practice it, and make space for it? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

With grace and love,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

 

 

P.S. – I’ve just added two more free coaching spots as a bonus for enrolling in Sacred Seduction® Live in NYC. If you sign up today that spot is yours!

 

 

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Whatever your flaws are, Flaunt Them

 

Angel Wings,

I just got back from a magical week in Tulum, Mexico teaching Sacred Seduction® and Qoya at the Astrotwins Astrology retreat.  When I got there, the very first thing I did was rip off what I was wearing and run toward those crystal blue Caribbean waters like my hair was on fire.

Swimming and frolicking naked on the beach makes me feel like a wee bebe at an amniotic pool party!  But, it was not always this way. 

There was a time I would rather have SET my hair on fire rather than show my bare skin on the beach.

In fact, it was not long ago that I couldn’t even wear short sleeves in the summer time, I felt so much anxiety about my body. Like the scene in the movie Bridesmaids where she is sick and dripping buckets of sweat but trying to pretend she’s fine, that was me on a 90 degree day in my summer cardigan!

I’m very grateful to Jo Weldon who at my first burlesque lesson shared these words: “Whatever your flaws are, flaunt them.”

That day I made a promise to follow the trail of glittered bread crumbs towards loving and flaunting my feminine form, wherever it may lead. It led to some seriously wild and uncomfortable places! But it was always leaping (or sometimes hobbling) beyond my comfort zone that truly made the medicine.

As Naomi Wolf once said “A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience.”

Here’s to honoring Eve, opening wide to that shiny apple, and taking a big fat bite. 

CHOMP,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

 

 

P.S. – next year’s retreat is already open and filling up fast! I will be there teaching Qoya and Sacred Seduction for my fourth year in a row, it is that irresistible.  I’d love to see you there, April 28-May 4th 2018!

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Mermaids, Lovers & Gypsy Caravans: The May Edition of Swoon!

swoon july

Welcome to a new month of Swoonables! Swoon is a monthly feature where I share all things that are currently tickling me PINK.  This month’s list is particularly luscious and robust, if I do say. Enjoy!


 

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Get a feather to fan yourself after visiting the Bellocq website.  The descriptions of their tea blends are so romantic, sensual and lush I swear I would buy an audiobook just of the descriptions alone.  Charleston is one of my personal favorites.

Is Mercury in Retrograde? Find out instantly here.

When someone tells you to “feel your feelings”, it’s easy to understand the “why”,  but more challenging is the “how”.  Check out this sweet guide on “Ways To Feel Your Feelings” by Sarah Starrs.

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A meditation pillow that is plush, lush, and sexy? Yes please!

A heroine and true femme fatale in every sense of the word, I know you’ll enjoy  this rich article about legendary Sacred Seductress Charlotte Gray.

Finally, after a year of living in Asheville, North Carolina, I’ve decided to do two live workshops here in my new hometown.  Sacred Seduction 101  and Qoya: Dancing the Love of The Great Mother are both coming up in May.  If you’re in Asheville or close by, I’d love to see you!

Mermaids, Lovers & Gypsy Caravans

I. am. in. LOVE with these modern, elegant goddess statues. Perfectly sized for an altar, understated and glamorous, these are gorgeous pieces of goddess art to call your own.

“How to cook like the French when you’re allergic to bread and butter.” A wonderful article and list of recipes by darling friend and blogger Elle Griffin.

Lacey Hanes is shaking up the world of childbirth with her unabashed, hilarious, vulnerable Instagram posts and stories.  Lacey chose to free birth with her daughter Fox, and the world has lots to say about it! What I love about Lacey is that she shares her truth in the most hilarious way (i.e. coining the phrase “Fanny Fart Fridays”).  I love her light, follow her!

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Stay dry AND study the stars with this cheeky constellation umbrella!

If you feel you were a mermaid in a past life, do not miss out on Olivine’s new body spray and gift set “Once A Mermaid.” It comes with Palo Santo and a gorgeous crystal to connect to your intuition.  What a gorgeous gift for your loved ones or yourself!

An unending source of inspiration, The Red List has complied their list of great lovers.  With passion and whimsy it details a beautiful history of great seductions.   Pour a cup of Gypsy Caravan tea and snuggle up!

 

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What Spring Teaches Us About The Soul

SEASONS OF THE SOUL

As spring gives way to early summer, it becomes easier and easier to see the parallels that exist between seasons of the earth and seasons in ourselves.

Recently while hiking high in the mountains, I noticed beneath the dead leaves and dry branches a small, sweet spray of wildflowers, silently singing their song of tender beauty.

They each had tiny, fragile little buds. All rich with color, and radiant with loveliness.

We know that our bodies reflect the rhythm of the seasons, but these flowers showed me how true that is also of the soul. When the soul is tender, moments of ease, trust, safety and peace can feel as rare and vulnerable as a budding spring wildflower.

Small. Delicate. Easily stepped on, easily unnoticed.

As time grows, these flowers will grow. Summer will come. Their stalks will strengthen and their blooms will brighten. Much like those times where feelings of trust, ease and safety are in such abundance we take them for granted, we become so accustomed to the beauty of the flower’s bloom we forget they are even there.

There are times where these flowers, and these feelings, will literally die on the vine, and all we can do is watch. How powerless we are to stop the blaze of glory that is their beautiful demise.

When winter comes, it can seem like the flowers never even really existed in the first place. Like they were just a dream, a ghost or a fantasy.

But they are always there, even when they are not. Deep within the frozen earth, their seeds, those tiny pods of pure potential reign eternal.

Like the earth, these seasons of the soul are not singular. We get more than one bud at a time. Some may be in summer, some may be dead and crunchy underfoot.

While we can’t control how fast they bloom, with nurturance, protection, and trust, we can make space for their roots to grip, and their blossoms to rise.

There is a certain prayer I love: ”God, I have only to look to nature to see proof of the abundance you provide.”

May we all rest easy in the harmony of the seasons, and in truth that everything is changing, always. And that that change is ultimately what we are all here for in the end.

Over to you mi amor – How do you notice these changes happening in your own life, physically, emotionally and spiritually? Do tell in the comments. I’d love to hear how you are weathering the seasons in style.

Here’s to a wild, naked spring,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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A Translation Tool For Your Inner Voice

A TRANSLATION TOOL FOR YOUR INNER VOICE

When a woman begins to listen to her intuition, a very common question that arises is:

How do I know it’s my intuition that’s doing the talking? What if it’s just my impulses, or my fear?”

Today I want to offer you a very simple tool that will help translate the messages of your inner voice. It involves listening for three things:

1. Tone

2. Pitch

3. Speed

When you think of a person who is fear, what does their voice sound like? Very loud, very fast, and very frantic.

A person who is impulsive, again: quite loud, fast, and frantic.

A person who is cynical and un-trusting? Loud, mocking and critical.

But what about a person who is grounded, at ease, and in control?

That voice is usually slow and even. It’s much more quiet that the others, it seems to come from a deeper place. It is the voice that comes from the calm, slow waters deep in the ocean, rather than the frothy chaos on the surface.

Ready to test it out?

For a front row seat to this Broadway show, all you have to do is to close your eyes and meditate. The reason many people don’t meditate is because they feel they can’t seem to “quiet their minds.”

But this time, rather than telling your mind to shut up, I suggest that you listen.

Listen not so much to what your mind has to say, but to the tone, speed and pitch in which it is speaking.

Once you can decipher who is holding the microphone in your mind at any given moment, you will begin to learn which voice to trust.

Close your eyes and do this exercise for one minute right now. What do you notice? I’d love to hear from you in a comment.

Om and Ciao,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

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100 Songs To Slow You Down (Free Playlist)

100 Songs To Slow You Down (Playlist)

Dear Sugar Blossoms,

A few weeks ago I hosted a party, and while happily chopping onions in the kitchen I got a text from my friend Jaime. “Even though I can’t be there tonight I left a little something on the porch to be there in spirit.”

I went to my front porch and there waiting for me was the most gorgeous bouquet of pink tiger lilies. It was a secret admirer fantasy come true!

It would have been very easy to exclaim, “how nice!”, then throw the flowers in a vase and go back to chopping onions feverishly, letting the experience just skim the surface of my consciousness like a rock skipping over a lake.

But instead I scooped them up in my arms and I drank the moment in. I savored their beauty and felt my heart explode with gratitude. I was fully present to this special moment of love and friendship.

I took that rock of consciousness and followed its full journey across the lake, all the way down to the sandy floor.

There is nothing more sweet than being truly AWAKE during an experience of pleasure, tenderness, and beauty. 

But with so many more “legitimate” tasks that steal our attention, it’s easy put pleasure off until we think we’ve really earned it.

And yet, the very thing we work so hard for has been sitting there the whole time, like a pink tiger lily right under one’s nose.

It takes great bravery to go slow. It also takes great music.

That’s why I’ve created a special playlist of 100 Songs To Slow You Down, that you can listen to at work, at play, or while chopping onions for a party.

And if slowing down is something you’d like even more support with, come to my free Q and A on Thursday at 2pm EST. 

We’ll snuggle up in front of my fireplace, and I will share with you the key tools to slowing down that I use personally  that I only share with my private clients.

We are going get to the root what keeps you from slowing down, address the areas where energy is leaking from your life, and take your power BACK.

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If you can’t be there live you can sign-up anyway, and the playback will be made available for a limited time.

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I can’t wait to talk to you then!

All my love,

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)

Image By Willy Nilly Lily

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