Today we’re talking about a certain word that begins with a B.
(All of which I’d love to talk to you about at another time.)
The word for today is BOUNDARIES.
A client recently shared this question with me:
“I am an introvert and I like my solitude. I need stronger boundaries with others, but how do I do this without sounding judgmental, losing friend connections or sounding like a bitch?”
Can you hear the subtle undertone in this question that says: “If I set a boundary, I will drive everyone away.”
The paradox that we must understand is this: boundaries actually bring us closer to the people we love.
Boundaries reveal the lines of definition that shape who you really are.
Therefore, boundaries are the heroines of true intimacy.
Now intimacy, she can be quite the squirrely minx!
I used to think I was the intimacy queen because I write and speak publicly about my vulnerabilities, wounds, and fears all the time. But in each of these scenarios I am already the heroine of my own story. I may be talking about my wounds, but what I’m really showing you are the tattoos that decorate the scar tissue on my soul.
Showing a person your scars is one thing, but showing your pink, tender, present moment flesh, is quite another.
Present moment intimacy is the kind that crackles and sizzles like fried rice being cooked right in front of you at a hibachi restaurant, rather than behind closed kitchen doors.
Now, there is no guarantee that when you share your truth with another person they won’t stomp all over it with muddy boots, or discard it like an apple core thrown out of a car window.
But true, healthy intimacy isn’t gauged by how another person reacts. True, healthy intimacy is measured by how fully you share your truth without agenda.
It’s your truth. No one can take take it away from you. And we are all better off when you share it.
Fortune Favors The Bold,
P.S. – For all you brave truth tellers, I want you to know that Vérité, my monthly membership for women who want to live honestly, sensually and authentically, is re-opening for enrollment in just a few weeks!