Confidence: Beyond The Bells & Whistles

Beloveds,

Recently I was preparing for a big event and needed to pick up a new pair of shoes. I had a specific budget for this purchase. I went to the store, chose a pair, and walked out having met my need for new shoes without compromising the needs of my bank account.

God damn it felt good.

In the past, setting a budget conjured up tremendous fear that would inevitably lead to self sabotage. Years ago I remember heading out to pick up a pair of $10 earrings studs before an important speaking event, and leaving the store with a $400 Labradorite necklace that “just spoke to me.”

In that moment, the urge to buy the necklace felt like my intuition talking. And maybe it was. But when I look back with the wisdom of hindsight, I see that what I was really trying to do was manage fear.

My mind saw that necklace as something I could control in a situation that felt very much out of my control. “I can’t be scared onstage if I’m wearing a necklace like this,” my subconscious reassured me.

It reminds me of the powerful quote from Carl Jung:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will control your life, and you will call it fate.”

As I grow and evolve I find that I need less and less “things” to feel confident.

My confidence comes from a quiet trust in who I am. How I look is just the icing on the cake.

May this be a reminder that you too, are more than your bells and whistles.

More than your adornments and accoutrements.

And that like the best things in life, the best parts of YOU, are actually…free.

Love and Labradorite,

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image by Charisse Kenion via Unsplash

Stepping Away to Get Closer


Cacao nibs,

Recently I was working on a project and my creativity felt like a jeep with it’s tires stuck in the mud.

No matter how many quality ideas surfaced, the mantra “what a dumb idea! what a dumb idea! what a dumb idea!” echoed through my head like a demented wind-up clown.

I called a friend for support. She calmly replied, “I think the best thing you can do in this situation is just be really kind to yourself.”

Ahhhh…deep exhale.

After hearing that prompt, my inner voice came through clear as a bell.

“Stop trying, Kitty. Today is just not the day. Working harder will only dig this hole deeper. Put the project down and step away.”

It’s common to get swept up in the fever of perpetual harvest.

But any artist will tell you that after days and days of working on the same painting, the art will actually suffer if you don’t take time away to freshen your perspective.

When you seek to live life as art, you’ve got to live it on art’s own terms. (click to tweet)

My friend Rochelle Schieck recently shared that lions in the wild will sleep 15 to 20 hours a day, and that rather than the expression “I’m a lion, hear me roar” it’s really more like, “I’m a lion, hear me snore!”

When it comes to creative energy, I find it to be more of a current than a well. When the current flows, it flows. When it’s not flowing, I know that my job is not to tell it to hurry up. My job is simply to remove whatever is blocking the flow, and do my best to patient as I wait for the river to rise again.

How do you flow with the wax and wane of your creative genius? Let’s compare notes in the comments.

Love,

 

 

A Refreshing Way To Open Your Heart

 

Have you even noticed that when you are in the hair stylist’s chair, your lips tend to loosen and secrets tend to spill? Ever wonder what’s up with that?
 
Well I can tell you. Quite scientifically in fact.
 
First of all, it’s an act of intimacy just to allow someone to touch your head. You have put your trust in them by allowing them re-style the way you look. You are surrounded by glorious smells, sweet scalp massage, and the spotlight of one person’s complete attention for at least 45 minutes.
 
In this setting, your nervous system relaxes. Therefore, your heart opens. And when your heart opens, you can’t help but speak from a place of authenticity.
 
The number one need that must be met for your nervous system to thrive is a feeling of safety, but here’s the thing: what creates a feeling of safety is different for every person in every experience.
 
For example, one of my core spiritual practices is Body Worship – a ritual of looking at your naked body in the mirror through the eyes of appreciation. I had done this exercise several times and my attempts were earnest, but they were usually done in the reflection of a bathroom mirror under overhead lighting with no seduction of the senses whatsoever.
 
When I really came around to it was when I lit multiple candles, set out a soft, fuzzy blanket, warmed coconut oil on the stove, set up a gorgeous antique mirror to gaze into, and played Cleopatra inspired music.
 
Because I had tended to my body’s need for beauty, music, luxury and pleasure, my nervous system felt safe enough to soften. I let down my guard, and it was a rapturous, life-changing experience.
 
Do you tense up every time someone tells you to “just relax”?
 
Are you sick of people telling you to “just open your heart”, like it’s a latch you can unhook at any given moment?
 
Do you yearn for someone who understands the needs of your mind AND your body when it comes to your healing and growth?
 
Well my dear, your chariot awaits. Club Macaron was created exactly for YOU.

You who wants a way to bring more softness and relaxation into her life, but prefers the sound of a New Orleans jazz trumpet to that of a singing bowl.
 
You who finds holiness in a gorgeous vintage cocktail ring.
 
You who suspects that the art of everyday pleasure can be equally if not more healing than analyzing your pain.

Right now you can join Club Macaron for only $47/month.

When you enroll you receive:

  • Weekly charm school lessons that explore healing through the arts of sensuality, spirituality and style
  • Live, playful meditations to soothe your feminine nervous system every week
 

  • A print copy of Club Macaron book (filled with inspiring journaling prompts, powerful stories and choose-your-own-adventure style assignments, all in full, glorious color) delivered right to your doorstep

  • A live monthly “Date Night” with Kitty and the Club Macaron community

  • Content that speaks to the needs of your nervous system with themes like: simplifying luxury, beauty as prayer, how to tell the truth with confidence, the art of savoring, flirtation mastery, style as a spiritual practice, and more.


Enrollment closes Thursday night. Click here to join us now!

Birthday Plot Twist

Beautiful Birthday Batter

Beautiful Birthday Batter

Clove Buds, 

Yesterday marked my 37th spin around the sun. 

Normally I like to celebrate my birthday in pretty grand, old-Hollywoood style: glamorous outfits, glamorous cocktails, glamorous atmosphere, glamorous everything! 

When I turned 30 I had a big, blowout bash with 100 guests, burlesque performers, signature cocktails and all the rest. 

But this year, I wanted things to be a bit different. 

I think this was the first birthday since I turned 18 that I didn’t have a drop of alcohol, nor did I crave one.  Rather than inviting a big group friends and acquaintances to go out dancing, I invited a core group of about seven women to dance around the fireplace in my home.  

These days more than ever, I crave what’s real. 

Things like intimacy over intoxication,  presence over popularity, baking my own cupcakes rather than buying them. 

Technology has worked wonders to connect us, but what is it actually connecting us to?

The night before my birthday I took my birthdate off of my Facebook profile.  Without a deluge of messages streaming in (p.s. thank you if you sent one or would have liked to!) I found I could actually be present, not have my nose in my phone, and imprint the memory of this birthday through my body and my senses. 

I spent the day with eyes and heart wide open, and it felt freaking great. 

If I had heard myself lay out this plan ten years ago, I probably would have probably been horrified at it’s simplicity. 

But life is full of plot twists. 

And on Wednesday September 13th at 3pm ET I’m so excited to share these plot twists and more with you at my free class & story hour called “I’m going to be completely honest with you.” 

COMPLETELY HONEST

In this class I will be sharing about the big changes that have been going on behind the scenes in my own life, and how the simple act of connecting to what’s real can be more satisfying than a funfetti cupcake. 

I’d be honored to have you as my guest, click here to join us! 

All my love and gratitude, 

KITTY_CAVALIER_ICON(1)