Announcement: Love Made Visible

Last night I hosted a gorgeous launch party for my brand new book and program, Club Macaron. (available now through May 31st!) Right before the launch I had an energy work session with my friend Marianne, and heard a message loud and clear:

Work is Love Made Visible. – Khalil Gibran

When I was a child, I had a fairy godmother. Not the portly, gray-haired, wish-granting kind. More like the Mists of Avalon, purple-robed priestess kind. She was wise and beautiful, expertly adorned, kind, and smart as a whip. Especially on rainy days I would roam around the grassy yard barefoot and communicate with her in a secret language.

My fairy godmother, this wise woman with long dark hair and queenly adornments, lived in my heart. But as time went on, she began to feel more like a distant fantasy than a guiding force. I would see glimpses of her throughout my life but mostly reduced her to a childhood game.

Then, one day when I was all grown up, I found her staring at me right in the face.

In the movie Advanced Style, the creator of the film roams the streets of Manhattan looking for incredibly stylish women, preferably over the age of 60. He lavishes them with well deserved attention. They are walking works of art.

These women are more than their Chanel handbags. They are explosions of unexpected, unbridled beauty.
These are our Fairy Godmothers in human form. They bundle crone-like wisdom with timeless sex appeal and an indestructible joie de vivre. They on the cutting edge of The Great Divine Feminine Comeback, and they embody the power that forms the basis of Club Macaron: La Femme Vitale: The feminine life force.

La Femme Vitale is a power we see play out in movies like Mary Poppins where the innocent genius of children calls forth exactly what the family needs, even if it is not what the family wants. A strong-willed, fiercely loving woman who knows her own mind and is in charge of her own magic appears, and the entire family, not just the children, is forever changed by her attention.

La Femme Vitale plays a starring role in the movie Chocolat, where the lead character Vianne sees an entire town suffering under the crush of puritanical doctrine. She fearlessly unleashes the sensual power of her ancient Mayan chocolate recipes on the town. Like a superhero, sporting red shoes instead of a red cape, she faces enemies at every turn. But she refuses to censor who she is and what she loves. As a result, the entire town springs forth into a newer, freer, more loving existence.

In real life, the examples of La Femme Vitale are endless. It lives in Maya Angelou’s poetry, Frida Kahlo’s painting, Aretha Franklin’s voice, Jane Goodall’s activism, Coco Chanel’s innovation, Julia Childs’ roast chicken, and so…much…more.

It’s the tears that form in the corners of your eyes when you hear the song, Ave Maria. It is the ecstasy you feel when you bite into a ripe fig still warm from the sun. It is the ache in your heart when you see suffering, and the conviction that courses through your veins when you take a stand for change.

La Femme Vitale not only lives in you, it IS you. YOU are a Femme Vitale.

Club Macaron, very simply, is a place where Femme Vitales gather to celebrate the arts of sensuality, spirituality and style.

At the start of last night’s class, I was surprised to introduce myself not just as Kitty Cavalier, but as Mary, my birth name. I believe it is because this is the most authentic, genuine work I have ever produced. It comes straight from my heart. My Fairy Godmother is smiling.

Club Macaron is love made visible, and I am so excited to share it with you.

This offering is only available through May 31st. Click here to learn more, get your hands on the book and join us.


Celebration Whiplash

Celebration Whiplash


Several years ago while working for a major corporation I made a big screw up that cost the company lots of money. I felt mortified, but also refused to allow this error to ruin my confidence.

To break out the big guns against self-flagellation, I went home that night with an expensive bottle of champagne. If nothing else, I could celebrate the fact that I would never make that kind of mistake again!

Celebration can be a powerful alchemist. But do you ever find that in the quest to celebrate all of life, running towards the things you’d like to run from, can leave you with a case of spiritual whiplash?

They say that the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.

I would also say that the opposite of hate is not love, it’s indifference.

A poignant lesson in this for me happened around finalizing my divorce. My ex-husband and I are good friends and our parting was amicable. But divorce is a loss no matter how you spin it.

When I knew the papers where on their way, my impulse to celebrate change at all costs kicked in. I thought about calling my girlfriends to come over for a raunchy divorce party and pole dance the night away.

But the truth was, I didn’t want to greet my mail man with a glass of champagne anymore than I wanted to throw a pie in his face.

I just wanted to greet him. Period.

I didn’t need to sugarcoat the experience any more than I needed to cover it with salt.

I tasted the moment before deciding if it needed any seasoning.

And what I found is that a tall, stiff glass of honesty can be even more refreshing than a bottle of Veuve. (tweet this!)

Like citrus bitters added to a well-made Old Fashioned, life just wouldn’t be as sweet without the contrast.

Discomfort can be so delish.







There is one week left to purchase The Art Of Self Massage at the introductory price of $99 before it goes up to the regular price of $197.

Curious about what it’s like to take the course? Ask Sofia…

“Loving myself, not just my body, has been quite a journey. Since practicing the self~massage regularly, I can actually feel self-love physically in my being, from head to toe.

Self love is no longer an intellectual concept but a physical, cellular one. My body feels infused with love and acceptance. Thank you.”

It is one thing to say an affirmation to your body in the mirror.

To act that affirmation out with your very own hands is another.

Click here to grab your introductory savings and start the course right now!





My Before And After Story (With Photos)

Hello Seductive Soul,

Right now, I am a filly bursting at the gate.  The assembly of women that have joined Deep Dive, combined with the jewels of seductive wisdom I am creating every day for this program – I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Kind of like how when I look at this photo, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry:

before. cookies

This is one of my “before” pictures.  In the image, I am preparing for the highlight of 2002, a Christmas cookie trading party. A COOKIE TRADING PARTY people.

My, how times have changed.

During that season of my life, I didn’t much care to learn about seduction.  I thought seduction was something reserved for glamazon femme-fatales and slutty sexpots.  As you can tell by the photo, those were not clubs I felt I could be a member of, nor did I care to be.

I had no idea what I was missing. And I have a funny feeling that you don’t either.

Recently I was talking to a client who was inquiring about just how on Earth seduction could be considered a spiritual practice, and I had a light bulb moment. Why would anyone invest in a program about seduction if seduction itself is something you want nothing to do with? It doesn’t matter how educated you become in the sensual arts, if being sensual is something you feel incapable of, or are too afraid to surrender to, that education is gonna be a one way ticket to nowhere.

What I am here on this page and on this Earth to tell you, is that there is a lot more to the story of seduction than what you have been told. Love, sex and romance is just one square on the Rubik’s Cube of seduction.

Ten years later, this is snapshot of my life after seduction. Flirting with the camera, feeling full with power and radiance, ready to  seduce the world….

kitty stairwellIn this image, as well as in this very moment…

  • I have never felt more sacred.
  • I have never felt more useful in the world.
  • I have never had more ownership of my beauty.
  • I embrace my flaws as my greatest assets.
  • I flirt with EVERYTHING that comes across my path.
  • I know how to set boundaries with grace and ease.
  • I own my dark side and think she is fucking gorgeous.
  • I do things that scare me every day.
  • I don’t just create my life, I curate it.
  • I am a bad-ass Femme Vitale priestess of seduction, shaking up the world with my sensual radiance, and being the change I wish to see in the world.

I have become the women I always wanted to be, all thanks to seduction as a spiritual practice.

Before every class I ever teach, I light a candle and I say this prayer: “Seductive spirits, help me to bring light where there is darkness. Guide me to illuminate the truth.”  You see, Sacred Seduction is like a diamond. At first what looks like a hundred prisms explode into a million when we are willing to let in the light.

The early sign up savings of $100 off Deep Dive expires tonight at midnight.

It would be my honor to bring in the light with you.

Click here to say YES to DEEP DIVE

All my love,

k swirl signature


Little Altars Everywhere

The first time I created an altar in my home, I remember treating it similarly to how I imagine one might treat nuclear material. I scrubbed the table I was using to the bone because I read somewhere that dust holds negative energy. I went to the health food store and saw all the different colored candles, each representing a different chakra. I was so afraid of excluding a chakra, I bought every color they had.  The same went for the incense. (thank you consumerism!) I started a “vision board” of all the things I wanted to transform in my life and placed it above the altar.  I would kneel in front of the altar when I got home from work every day (for about a week), burning the candles and trying to meditate, the whole time I was wondering if this was, indeed, the best feng-shui corner in the house to place the altar and whether or not it was clean enough.

JEEZ! It makes my palms sweat just thinking about that experiment.
I look back on that time with great compassion for myself.  What I realize now is that  I did not create that altar out of an overflow of devotion.  I created it because I wanted to find a way to heal things in my life that needed healing, but without having to do the scary stuff.  Like healing my ovarian cyst without surgery.  Or making all the people I hated at work less obnoxious without having to speak up.  And while we’re at it, adding more sex to my relationship without having to get out of my pajama pants.  And p.s., fixing my raging eating disorder.  No wonder the poor altar had performance anxiety!  
I have since learned that in the words of Annie Lennox, “Money Can’t Buy It.” You can ship salt from the Himalayas, fine incense from Tibet, the blood of a desert snake in Santa Fe and all the rest, but none of these things begin to compare with the power of collecting objects that mean something to you. 
My goal in my home is to make it one big giant altar.  I have little altars everywhere.  To me, an altar is any arrangement of beauty that honors the sacred.  It is something that reminds me that magic is real, that there is so much more to life that what we see with the naked eye.  What works best for me is to create altars of gratitude and honoring.  In contrast, I find that when I make an altar dedicated to a transformation I want to experience with images cut out of magazines and such, it makes me so fixed on the outcome that I start to obsess over it, excluding room for the transformation to actually happen. 
Here are some examples of altars I have created in my home and what they mean to me.  I would love to see yours too! You can post them here on the School of Charm and Cheek Facebook page. Or, if this post inspires you to see an altar where you did not see one before, as you will see in the photo at my Mother in-law’s house below, please share that too.
Altar On!
Kitty Cavalier

PS – Veronica Varlow is someone who taught me ALOT about finding the sacred and magic in the little things.  She is teaching a class at the School of Charm and Cheek March 23rd which is almost sold out.  I highly recommend this class if you would like to find beauty and magic in corners of your life that you would not have previously thought to look.

This is my bedroom dressing table.  Framing the mirror are necklaces , many of which were gifts, some which
were handmade by a dear friend.  On the dressing table are my favorite oils and lotions, handmade by my Mother. 

This Guest Altar belongs to my student Coco Chacnhil. It is an altar to Sacred Seduction that she created after taking my workshop.  It contains rose petals, chocolate, elegantly dressed fruit with goat cheese, the lyrics to a French song we learned in class, and a whole bunch of other personal items that mean something very special to her. 

This little bowl sits on my nightstand, and contains glass beads from  a vintage necklace, a stone from the driveway of my Dad’s horse stable in South Carolina, and a nut that fell from a tree while vacationing with my husband in France.  I sprinkled a little glitter on it for additional sparkle. 

This altar is the first altar I ever made to honor Sacred seduction.  It has a green buddha lit up from below with white light, representing enlightenment with a little more pizazz than what we are accustomed to.  The word rejection is turned on it’s head and covered with hearts to represent the belief that rejection is always a form of protection.  There are sweet watercolors to represent tenderness and vulnerability, sparkles and fur to represent making the old new again.  The marble carving reminds me of the Taj Mahal and honors the original archetypes of seduction. In the center, is an opera singer who is draped in red silk; a picture of pure passion in my eyes. 
I bought this when I was in Peru, and it graces a shelf in my bathroom, honoring true, long lasting love.

This is an altar, isn’t it?? 😉

A gratitude altar for a successful Seduction class with my favorite Rumi poem “dance when you are broken open”,  roses and a red candle from the classroom, and a variety of sacred objects surrounding the candle. 

This is a stone from the fire pit after my first fire ceremony at the Qoya Costa Rica retreat,  a piece of yarn from another ritual done in Costa Rica, a thank you charm that was a gift from a friend, and pink glitter to make everything shine.

This is in the home of my Mother in-law.  At first glance it is just an assembly of photos, but when looked at more closely it is an altar to family and love.  There are two photos of my nieces/her grandchildren, with a photo of her parents in the middle, and an album from our wedding under that, all placed on the piano where my husband learned to play his famous song “Ho-Down” as a kid.  So much sacredness on this altar!


Turning Emergency Surgery Into Art

Recently my Mom had to have a major emergency surgery, having a large part of her colon removed.  It was a big deal, so I flew down to South Carolina to be with her and my Dad.  As I was packing, I started feeling nervous about the trip. Nervous about being able to support my family with out tapping myself out, nervous about being able to cope with seeing my Mom in severe pain. Then I thought, “how would a Femme Vitale do this trip?”

So I went to my own website to search for the definition: “A Femme Vitale uses her rapturous beauty, her feminine charm and her erotic power to bring pleasure, love and joy to everyone she meets. She is shameless in her self love. She owns her body from head to toe. Her beauty transcends her age, her shape, her size. She knows how to turn herself on, and from that, she turns on the world.”


Here is a photo diary of how I turned what could have been an exhausting and emotionally draining trip into a work of art:

Each day I gave my Mom epic foot massages with Lavender Sleep Balm. Ahhhh.

I mustered the courage to get on my Dad’s horse, Bruce.  Bruce is really big and has always freaked me out, but once I sat in the saddle and felt his warm, grounding energy beneath me, I swear it felt better than a massage.

Bruce’s hoof prints.

Each day I ate a nourishing, beautiful lunch at Magnolia Cafe.  If I could describe the energy of this place it would be like the cafe in the movie “Fried Green Tomatoes”.  Pure heaven.

Mini-skirt’s in April! God Bless the weather in the South!

My Dad’s love of horses + his birthday + my inability to resist hospital gift shops = This.

The legendary beet and citrus salad at Magnolia.

I made sure to gift my Mom and her nurses with these beautiful magenta orchids.  I also baked the nurses blueberry muffins to say thank you for all their magnificent care.

I figured the decor in the ICU bathroom could use a more positive spin.

Every day I would have hour-long Qoya inspired dance sessions in an empty guest bedroom.  I would shake and shimmy all the stress out of my body, and gyrate all the goodness of the day right in.  Thank you Qoya!

More ICU Love notes.

Each night I would get home from the hospital and make my Dad healthy, nourishing, home-made meals like this Spring Veggie pasta.  At 5 o’clock I would pour a glass of white wine, turn on Louis Armstrong, and cook while the most beautiful amber light streamed into the kitchen.  It was a gorgeous way to practice gratitude and to pour my love into the food that nourished us.

And then we’d finish off the meal with Rocky Road in a juice glass.

Normally when packing for a short trip I pack light, but this time I did not edit my choices one bit, not even in my shoe selection.  I only brought things that made me feel gorgeous, hot and sexy.  Every day I would get all dressed up, and my Mom and the nurses couldn’t wait to see what I’d be wearing that day.

The doorway at Magnolia Cafe.

The moral of the story for me, is that when times get tough it is very easy to forget about what keeps life juicy and fun.  I am grateful to have had this trip to use as an experiment in healing through beauty, charm, and cheek. (And I’m grateful that my Mom is doing much, much better). 
How are you living life as Art today?